roll call 89

Can't keep still for long, voices are bad.

Just a bad day in general.

I've done my homework on anxiety medications and I can't find a single one that either wont knock me the **** out or blunt my emotions. I'm going to be asked to be prescribed two meds. I'm on klonopin for my panic attacks that occur twice a day. (caused due to brain damage from Wellbutrin). Klonopin has a long half life though, and I want to fix that.

1)Xanax. Half life is around 13 hours. It's the shortest out of the benzos and acts within 25 minutes about which is the fastest. I'm hoping the halflife will make it so I can wake up still in the morning. Klonopin makes it difficult for me to not fall asleep while driving into work. Anyone on this tell me how it effects you

2)Buspar. There aren't very many side effects with this one. The only one I'm worried about is sleepiness, but I don't know how bad it will be... Anyone on this have any experience with how it made them feel?

Thanks in advance.

My brain has been cloudy and tired all day. I think I might have taken the pills from the two days too close together. Plus side is minimal paranoid thoughts.

I keep starting to reply to posts on social media but halfway through typing I realize that no one cares for my opinion. I don't have the stamina for an argument or even an in depth discussion, and what does my opinion matter anyway?

Cog, so yesterday you felt like you were on top of the world and today you feel you don't matter? Do you see a pattern?

I don't necessarily feel that I don't matter I just feel like people don't give a **** for my opinions on things. Like other people don't care for my thoughts so why should I waste my time.

But yeah hahahaha I can see what you mean. I've been tired and down all day.

I like that name, though. Cog. Took me a second to see it.

My ID doesn't actually mean anything. It was just random things I saw around smashed together. Glad and Band Aids and... something else. Cologne maybe...? Can't remember.

Feeling worse and worse. This must be the decrease in olanzapine. Have taken a chlorpromazine to try and ease it. Keep ringing me cpn but she's not getting back to me.
Today is a bad day. But I'm guna try and do stuff anyway. Don't let it beat you down.
I'm guna chill then go look round the shops, then go to the gym. If the chlorpromazine doesn't knock me out that is. It's very unpredictable the side effects.
Hope everyone has a nice day

Sorry you aren't feeling well. And it sucks that your cpn isn't getting back to you. I hate when I hear that. There is just no excuse for it. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Good morning everyone. I hope you are a all having a good day.
Nothing planned for the day. How about you?

Morning/Afternoon!

I've gone two whole days without drinking this week, so that's good. Hopefully I should remain on top of it now... I'm going to limit myself to one drink a week.

Also went on a run today. Well more walking than running...! Starting a couch to 5k program. I mean I could already run that far probably but I'd be pushing too hard so I think it's best to start light.

Was a nice day for it too. Warm today.

Hope everyone is ok!

Drugs really made me outgoing too... just like a barrier was lifted. I think it's probably because I've always had a degree of social anxiety even if it was not that pronounced.

Gotta goto the AT&T store this morning. My phone is messed up.

I've lost 10 pounds since stopping bingeing and purging. I am also changing from depakote to trileptal which is supposed to have less weight related issues.

Why won't you check out CBD oil?

Xanax can be more sedating than klonopin. It is more potent

Where can i get that for myself? I fully believe in it.

Google it. Some pharmacies sell it... Like compounding pharmacies. Head shops.. Hippy stores. Just Google it

Thank you for the support valley. I rang my cpn again today and she got back to me. I asked if I could increase the olanzapine and she said yes and that she would speak to my psych.
I went to the gym again today. Supposedly after a month a behaviour becomes a habit. Been going for a month now so hopefully I will keep it up. I haven't weighed myself cos I'm refusing to do that but just looking in the mirror and how I feel I can tell I'm in better shape. I've been eating better as well which helps.

i am having a hard time understanding cancer..
i don't understand why some people, even some children get it

what did they do to deserve that? how is their cells mutated when they are little? when i was little my close friend had leukemia and i remember when she lost all her hair from chemo

i didnt understand it at the time, i thought that maybe she was just sick, but i knew she would get better and she did, but i couldn't possibly understand what she was going through at the time, she was bullied because of her bald head and stuff and i just cant imagine what thats like

now my t has cancer and is going to start chemo and i am scared for her
i dont understand why people get cancer, i remember my friend being really frail and weak after chemo and i always saw my t as this really strong, supportive woman and i am scared to see her after chemo (if she decides to come back to work during it anyway)

i am scared she is going to die but she told me she would be okay and that her cancer would be cured, but i dont know

Hey Tweaky, thanks for this. I don't want to be mean to anyone though. :/ It's hard enough to cope with being here. My darned teeth really flared up here...

Nobody deserves it, it just happens, much like sz----why would a teenagers brain suddenly go haywire---totally unfair.

I hope you'll hear back from your cpn today. And feel much better!

Hey Kori. I'm right there with you. My life long friend is battling lung cancer and I can't do anything to help. It's such a helpless feeling. I don't want to lose her.

Hey guys! I'm stir crazy. Can't sit still. I don't know what to do with my time now that I'm not sleeping all day.