roll call 89

I got my sim card swapped out cuz the guy said i was getting two bars and it went up to 4 but now that im home im only getting 2. Sometimes 1.

I know its because of where im located. Out in the country. What a shame.

My data seems to be a bit better though.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's especially bad with agoraphobia. Can you go out and take a walk?

I tore a nail and I dont have my clippers because they're not allowed at the hospital. I hate when they tear high up.

Can you ask an aid or an occupational therapist (if you have one) to clip it for you?
I hate this too.

My only long term friend has said he will never speak to me again. I know i cant really do anything about it, and he might change his mind later, but it pisses me off and hurts my feelings. I'm trying to just shrug it off, but i guess it does bother me, in truth.

Yes, I still have one lifelong friend who I hurt pretty badly. I had been angry at him because he was all wrapped up in new activities and he wasn't making time for me. I don't know if he will ever forgive me. And he can't contact me because I've changed my phone number and moved since then, so I will have to try to crawl back and see if he forgave me. That was 7 years ago.

Did you have a fight or disagreement? I always was very much a loving friend until I lost my marbles. If I hadn't been on.a ship load of benzos, I might not have done it.

Nevermind. I spoke too soon. Im gonna have to goto the apple store. Might even have to replace my phone. And I cant afford another iphone. Apple quit replacing phones too.

Yea, I might just wait until my friend can bring a clipper because I don't like to pester them and risk anything bad. (I have a lot of paranoia I'm trying to hide.)😲 It never fails when they get long they tear in the nail bed. Maybe they'll have band aids I can put on it until I have and can use the clippers.

Thank you for the response.
We didn't really have a fight, but he is often unhappy with me because i don't talk to him as much as he would like. He also seems to feel i am not as sympathetic as i should be because he is very depressed, lonely and anxious since his wife passed away almost 2 years ago. I do feel very sad for him, and i do feel ive expressed sympathy. Ive also tried to gently make suggestions for feeling better. But i dont answer drunk calls.

I hope you can make up with your friend if you want to.

Thank you. That's one of those imbalances that's hard to know what to do. I don't think anyone has called me drunk since I was a teenager lol. But I made a friend of a woman who died, her partner. He was so needy and clingy I kind of dreaded his calls and I didn't know him well, etc.

After not hearing from him for a little while, I was walking in his neighborhood and I wondered if I should drop by and see him. I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't because he was dead in his new apartment. His brother called me because I had left messages on his voice mail, and told me. I don't know if it was suicide because his suitcase was packed for a visit to the country, but he never got there.

So I still don't know how to gracefully deal with this situation. :/

Oh man I hope he changes his mind and you are able to forgive him.

People ignore me and don't talk to me. They're talking about me laughing and gossiping I know it. Wish they'd stop watching me and judging me.

The soap here has a smell that nauseates me. Wish it were different. 🙄

FFFFFF my vape broke and i am not getting my check in for another 2 weeks!!!

I think im manic

Can you get a standard pair of scissors?

If he stopped being friend with you because you didn't answer drunk calls and needed time for yourself then I personally think you lost him for good

Morning
Whats up

Can you get your own? I hate the smell of hospital/nursing home soap.

I'm sure they aren't. You are sounding paranoid.


call your pdoc.

Good morning everyone. I hope you are all having a good day.
What's everyone got going on today? I have nothing planned just waiting for the kids to get home lol. My daughter has a field trip tomorrow so we have to go out and get her lunch stuff that's my exciting day.

I'm feeling pretty bad today. On the verge of tears but I can't cry. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Take more ad because I'm depressed and feel even more numb or leave things the way they are. Decisions decisions.
I wish my kids were home. Summer vacation can't come fast enough. I can't wait. Maybe by next year I'll feel better and won't hate being alone so much.

I'm not doing much, trying to clean up my apartment. Second day of Trileptal, haven't had any bizarre side effects so that's good lol On Depakote for 5 or 6 more days then that gets lowered for a week then will be off it. The trileptal will be increased the day after tomorrow.

Monday I can get my books for college. Looking forward to that starting soon.

How is everyone?

Hm, I don't know.

Hi im ok.

Had a pdoc appt today. I think i was hypomanic yesterday because something riled me up:

As you all know i live in a very isolated area. Well all my neighbors around me (who have ATT) phones couldnt recieve or send calls. Its been like this for a few days. Well we all went to the ATT store together and we basically raised hell about it and called tech support. They said they were gonna send crews to fix it. Still hasnt been fixed. So that riled me up and got my blood running.

But yea.

Oh yea! My pdoc was proud of me for not drinking. This saturday will be 3 weeks. He didnt say he was proud but i could tell he was.

He also gave me a discount prescription card for my meds. Idk if it work yet tho.