[wwwcitricacid]

Hello people.

I do not have Schizophrenia or have not been labelled as such by a professional, but I think it might be worth sharing how I have been feeling for quite a while.

Since I was 16-17 years old I developed a sudden change in thought patterns and health anxiety. Then I developed depression due to the health anxiety, did not have treatment for it until finally this year I was prescribed Sertraline which I take daily and now the depression as well as the health anxiety lifted.

But the thought blockage is still present and its getting worse, I have done a thread which explains the thought blockage in a bit more detail: https://forums.psychcentral.com/othe...inda-back.html

I do not have hallucinations and I am not really worried about developing Schizophrenia, but I really really really don't want to be diagnosed with it or to be viewed as some crazy psychopath by crazy people, I don't want to live with the stigma and the horrible meds that they make you go on. I'm not saying my life is hard but I already have a lot on my plate and developing Schizophrenia would prevent me from living a normal life.

Hope you don't mind me asking but do any of you Schizophrenics noticed that your thinking patterns have changed? Do you notice that you think differently and that normal people can think clearly? Is it hard to think?

My thoughts are the cogs, thinking is rotating the lever to make the cogs work- but I cannot rotate the lever because it is stuck and my cogs are moving by themselves very fast. My thoughts are very fast and they are getting more and more weird, I don't know. Its very hard to explain.

If you are able and want to explain how your thinking works it would be awesome if you explained it. Because it would really help me to find out whats going on.

Don't know what I am doing anymore, hopefully its just the way I am and its not anything serious.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by wwwcitricacid

My thoughts are the cogs, thinking is rotating the lever to make the cogs work- but I cannot rotate the lever because it is stuck and my cogs are moving by themselves very fast. My thoughts are very fast and they are getting more and more weird, I don't know. Its very hard to explain.

My own situation is similar to that. My brain never stops and I cannot always determine its processes. I have many unanswered questions and many possible projections (typically negative) in relation to those, and there are times I cannot find a base or reference point for trying to sort them all out. I put a lot of effort into keeping an emotions-free, factual reality within view so I can have a "home base" for day-to-day function, and I also work hard at not fretting over things I can actually do nothing about.

Unless I've completely misunderstood your 2 posts, I wouldn't consider what you're experiencing as thought block. It sounds to me more like racing thoughts that you are struggling to keep up with? Thought block in sz is when you are talking or thinking and the thought completely disappears mid-thought/sentence and you have no idea what you were thinking/saying. So it seems different to what you describe.

Racing thoughts are quite common. Since you are already diagnosed with anxiety, I would say it is down to that, but it could also be a sign of hypo/mania if you have other signs of that too.

Your post about thoughts about your kidney also sounds like anxiety to me. You know it's not really true, which makes it an overvalued idea rather than a delusion. It sounds like you have some stress around your relationship with your step/dad (sorry I forgot exactly who you said it was) and feeling controlled and your anxiety is running away with you.

You also said in your other post that you're not worried enough to mention it to your pdoc, but posting here shows that it does bother you to some degree. I would suggest mentioning it to them as only they can diagnose you. We can only give suggestions. As you're only on 50mg sertraline, there is scope to increase that if you wanted, or you could try therapy?

And lastly, on the off-chance that it is the beginnings of psychosis, which I think is unlikely, but only your pdoc will be able to say for sure, there is no need to be so fearful of that diagnosis. Yes, sz makes things harder, but there's no reason why you couldn't still live the life you want with the right support. And not everyone with a sz diagnosis takes meds (I don't, for example), though lots of people find them helpful. And yes, there is stigma, but there's also people out there willing to look past the diagnosis too. I have several friends who don't care what my diagnosis is. So it's not a metaphorical death sentence these days.

Anyway, I hope you can talk to your pdoc or a T to figure out what's going on and find a way to move past these experiences

All the best,

*Willow*

[wwwcitricacid]

Originally Posted by leejosepho

My own situation is similar to that. My brain never stops and I cannot always determine its processes. I have many unanswered questions and many possible projections (typically negative) in relation to those, and there are times I cannot find a base or reference point for trying to sort them all out. I put a lot of effort into keeping an emotions-free, factual reality within view so I can have a "home base" for day-to-day function, and I also work hard at not fretting over things I can actually do nothing about.

Thank you for sharing. Have you been able to ignore your negative thoughts? and if so, how?

[wwwcitricacid]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

Unless I've completely misunderstood your 2 posts, I wouldn't consider what you're experiencing as thought block. It sounds to me more like racing thoughts that you are struggling to keep up with? Thought block in sz is when you are talking or thinking and the thought completely disappears mid-thought/sentence and you have no idea what you were thinking/saying. So it seems different to what you describe.

Racing thoughts are quite common. Since you are already diagnosed with anxiety, I would say it is down to that, but it could also be a sign of hypo/mania if you have other signs of that too.

Your post about thoughts about your kidney also sounds like anxiety to me. You know it's not really true, which makes it an overvalued idea rather than a delusion. It sounds like you have some stress around your relationship with your step/dad (sorry I forgot exactly who you said it was) and feeling controlled and your anxiety is running away with you.

You also said in your other post that you're not worried enough to mention it to your pdoc, but posting here shows that it does bother you to some degree. I would suggest mentioning it to them as only they can diagnose you. We can only give suggestions. As you're only on 50mg sertraline, there is scope to increase that if you wanted, or you could try therapy?

And lastly, on the off-chance that it is the beginnings of psychosis, which I think is unlikely, but only your pdoc will be able to say for sure, there is no need to be so fearful of that diagnosis. Yes, sz makes things harder, but there's no reason why you couldn't still live the life you want with the right support. And not everyone with a sz diagnosis takes meds (I don't, for example), though lots of people find them helpful. And yes, there is stigma, but there's also people out there willing to look past the diagnosis too. I have several friends who don't care what my diagnosis is. So it's not a metaphorical death sentence these days.

Anyway, I hope you can talk to your pdoc or a T to figure out what's going on and find a way to move past these experiences

All the best,

*Willow*

Thank you so much for the reply

The thought block you explained to me in schizophrenics is different to what I am having. Its like my thoughts are working by themselves away from my control, and to use/access my thoughts I have to mentally exert myself and focus hard on it so it does not escape from my concentration I really need to concentrate hard to think but its easier to function by not using my thoughts at all.
I cannot use my thoughts easily, its like trying to grab something made out of thin air. But at the same time they are still there but they are doing whatever they want and they get bored so they have been getting more intense and unpredictable.

My relationship with my Dad is alright, I just sometimes feel like he is invading my privacy just by doing parent things like tidying my room and asking where I am going. Also I live with him so he can be annoying to be around sometimes, I love him regardless but sometimes I get ideas which make me feel a bit afraid of him.

I think I will talk to my doctor about how I have been feeling because that's a good idea, I'll go arrange an appointment sometime soon go see them and see what they suggest.

Again, thank you. After the appointment I'll do another post about how it all went.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by wwwcitricacid

Have you been able to ignore your negative thoughts? and if so, how?

I deal with thoughts as thoughts and I do not concern myself with labeling them as "positive" or "negative", then I discern their actual value, truth or whatever and dismiss the ones that would distract me from doing the next right thing.