Roll Call 99

Sometimes I can’t see where I’m really going. That can be ok sometimes. But sometimes it leaves me knowing I’m blind and sometimes not. Ever finding peace on the edge of the world. Something that has to be proven. Traveling off into the sun that circles around me it seems even though some people believe something that is proven. Delusional in a light, literally. Blinding is what it is.

In the sand blowing through the wind, scarring my face slightly, unwinding taste for water is the only thing I need at this time. I wish.

Just leave it be that’s just the way things go. If only it was snowing I wouldn’t be so hot in this weather because it was like 98 degrees and I was pushing carts for the grocery store.

Sorry I don’t know any other ways to put it. My heart might fail one day but death just brings me back to something that we come alive for again. It’s a complete circle because what is a flat heart line in the third dimension? A circle. We are in the third dimension..

Just a little eating for you to have. I want to go to a place where I was. Hopefully that place will be here again in my time which makes sense of it all.

I'm alone in this world that is frightening oceans of water to be alone under the sea if need be.

I hope I can go on holidays again soon. My next holiday will be skiing in the rocky mountains on Christmas so I'm excited for that.

Today has flown by. I'm not happy about that. The weekends go by so fast. Back to work and school tomorrow. Boo.
What's everyone doing as this weekend winds down?

Watching zootopia while refreshing pc.....

Did you meet him at group? He should be pretty understanding.

I watch some of it every night on my phone. But I keep earplugs in so I can't hear it. (I don't like to hear my roommates.)

I'm not doing anything. I have some kind of weird cold. I don't like it here after the final smoke break. There's nothing to look forward to. They should have a night owls smoke break at 10pm or so.

I never felt like I lost control until I crashed. Since then I've lost control. It's not a great feeling.

Hope you feel better.
They really should have one. Its one of the best times to smoke.

Honestly I'm a bit of a control freak so I didn't react well to losing control either....but now the meds give me control back, probably why I'm so adherent to them.

Having to take meds with food or tracking food or anything thinking about food just sets me off. It's so easy. Combined with my mental state and 'grandiose delusions' as my doc say I feel like I don't need to eat I am invincible and amazing and beyond the need for food

You guys don't worry about me I'm just insecure and I think my meds are wearing off

I hope you feel better.

I notice I notice I notice I start getting loopoopy when it comes close to taking my meds again does that mean their working the rest of the tkme

I didn't really eat while I was psychotic either....but yeah I've never been on a med that requires you to eat, I think I'd have trouble with that....

Grammar! My grammar has failed me arrrrgh I lose my credit I said 'their' instead of 'they're'

The grammar on dating websites is atrocious! I'm convinced I was so lucky on okcupid because I can write so well. It's sad that so many students have had failing teachers. I believe bad teaching is an epidemic.

I've noticed that I'm seeing so many words misspelled everyday, my own talent for spelling is suffering now. Sucks.

I ate food and now I want to eat everything.

Okcupid is full of IT guys for some reason, or maybe those are just the ones I find. I was convinced that they just had rapid and good texting skills so I picked them for that....at least it's an important skill set.

I stopped caring about small typos.....I don't know if I'm just getting stupider or more mellow.....

I'm going to buy a new guitar because my old one is like 10 years old. Need to relearn too but I have my ways, YouTube, Forums, etc. Anyone know if I should buy an acoustic guitar or a bass guitar because can't you play a bass guitar like an acoustic if you wanted to?

I have plenty of grass for inspiration too if I want.

I've learned that 'costumers defiantly exasperate' and much, much more.

Texting is almost its own language.

i still spell everything out, it had more to do with speed...

Unfortunately while you were online on ok cupid there was no way to stop other guys from saying hello so I ended up talking to the ones that responded fastest more often....

I think they solved that with some of the newer dating apps

I hardly ever get messages on OKC...haha. I use the setting to hide myself from the straight community, no point getting hit on by guys when I'm not even attracted to them. I'm always articulate in messages online. Though I think my grammar has gotten worse as time goes on.