Roll Call 99

I really dont want to go on what they call standby. Because that means waiting from the time they open 8am til the time they close 5pm for an appt. and im not guaranteed anything. If i dont get an appt, then i have to come the next day and then the next day. Until someone cancels their own appt for that specific doctor. And they have like 5 doctors there at the specific branch.

Ugh. I just want to die. Not really, i just feel so extremely awful. And now i cant take my meds. Ill have to ration them. At least the gabapentin.

Kill me.

Im actually really scared

What are you scared of?

Im scared that i wont be able to get a closer appt. That i might have to go a month without meds. No meds for one day is ok but not that long. Even one day is bad enough.

Im just really scared. I might have to not take my meds for one day so i can go up to the clinic and sit all day to wait for an appt. Cuz with my meds i will be too tired to be up there all day. And i guess ill just have to stop my meds again if i have to back up there the next day. And so on. But im not wanting to be in public with no meds in my system.

When THEY mess up, i have to pay the consequences.

I'm sorry Newtus. I don't even know what to say.

Maybe im getting too worked up about it but this affects my recovery.

And its really stressful

The system sucks. I'm sorry

And they only have standby TWO days a week. So if i dont get in those two days i have to wait another week

That is such bullsh!t.

Im crying. Im just really really scared i wont have my meds for a month and then ill have to goto the hospital.

I'm sure if you do standby they'll get you in.....

I hope so.

But im gonna call tomorrow about how it his mistake and they should call it in. I dont want to have to skip my meds and go out in public unmedicated with anxiety and paranoia just to wait all day

I don't have enough pay in for social security because we do a state pension instead...it's lame. I'm thinking about trying to get on disability from that state pension though.....I've got to talk to HR but I won't do it if it affects my actual pension. It's complicated. I don't qualify for ltd because it's a preexisting condition.

When you go on standby, I would tell the secretary that all you need is a quick script that's it. Writing a script only takes 2 minutes. Maybe he'll not be a turd and do the right thing. I don't get why all the red tape at your doctors office. I need a new doctor too...

They told me when i missed my pdoc appt last month that since they were being funded by some new thing or whatever, that they have new rules. I used to be able to get that. A couple of years ago. Things changed. So they cant do that. Even when they could do that a long time ago they still pushed the standby thing. I always had to find loopholes.

But tomorrow ima try my best to push this mistake on them.

That's awesome they have an HR that can guide you in the right direction. I understand not wanting to touch your pension. You probably don't want me asking questions with the mixed feelings. So Ill just hug you . ((hugs)) I'm here for you!

Newt, you don't seem to like your doctor or the office protocols. Do you know where to look for a new doctor? Maybe you could ask this doctor to give you a referral to another place where they don't have this stupid stand by issue and has experience with your illness of course.

I'm so hungry I want to eat everything but nothing the same time.

Maybe I should just go to sleep.

I hate this place. But ive been to every doctor in the area that accepts my insurance and they all have referred me back to this county clinic after 3 months. I cant get away from here. I had one that not only referred me back but refused to continue to treat me.

Even if i travel an hour away to get help they most likely will ask me why i came so far to them and refer me back.

Its like me coming from this place holds a stigma against me or something. Idk. But for some reason i cant go anywhere else.

Thanks DT....I don't mind the Qs just don't know all the answers......

My ex called me. I didnt answer but he left me a voicemail saying he misses talking to me, and even said an inside joke that only him and i understand between us on the voicemail.

I didnt answer.

Its stuff like that. the calling, facebook comments, inside jokes only we understand, etc that make this hard

Anyone up