Roll Call CIV (104)

Also also also thinking about what that woman said I told her about all my history with disordered eating and she just asked if I wanted to see a dietician and then later says one of the things I need to focus on is losing more weight.

Oh thanks that’s helpful just feeeeed into my disordered eating to lose weight great.

I have to take a urine sample to the lab in the piss pouring rain ugh

Thats a common misconception. That people who look like they could lose weight dont have an eating disorder. I look overweight but i have eating disordered tendencies

Exactly! Just because my BMI puts me in the obese category doesn’t mean I’m not at least kind of disordered. I lost 50lbs in less than five months before and ended up losing my period. I was restricting and self harming and taking laxatives and over exercising. But because I was overweight to start and overweight still after all that suddenly it’s not valid. If I was 100lbs of skin and bones THEN they would take it seriously it’s bull ****.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday
I asked if I could start to come off my meds and he said that he would decrease my stelazine and increase my geodon
:s

I don't know if thats what I want, I was hoping to come off my meds, not just stop the stelazine

@junkdna I'm glad you got your meds

* There is a guy outside walking 3 medium sized dogs while also pushing a baby stroller. Eek!

It took 18 years for me to get an accurate diagnosis and a very thorough assessment. I'm glad I waited. It probably would have happened sooner if I didn't avoid psychiatry for about a decade.

The ASD, GAD and SAD labels are accurate. I'm just not sure what label should be used for the psychotic illness I had. I've been told it was psychotic disorder NOS, psychotic depression and some form of bipolar disorder. I'm not schizophrenic, so I'd never accept that label, unless my illness mutated into it.

I agree that seeking a diagnosis should be approached with caution. Ideally a client and psychiatrist should work together to figure out what is going on. It should be a team effort. Family should also be involved.

When I first got diagnosed over 20 years ago, a doctor's opinion was final. I remember questioning every one I had except for two, because they seemed to be good descriptors of my experience. The doctors didn't appreciate it even though they questioned it.

Psychiatry has improved dramatically over the last 20 years, at least here in Canada.

Certain labels especially PDs can destroy a person and even deny them services. I remember when I was considered a lost cause, one that was not even worth helping and understanding. I wasn't offered much at all. Apparently I deserved to suffer. It was very frustrating.

I have always been glad that I didn't become a serious mental health consumer until later in life. My life was hard but i didn't have that particular stigma following me around. I've always been an extremely private person.

Until ya joined PC @ Angelique?

Saw my T. Went well. I'm so glad we're back together. I'm going once a week now which I think is good. And we've severely limited out of session contact. I'm finally on the right path again

That really sounds like a more traditional path.....I hope everything works out

Yeah. I think T and I got too close. Both of us. But we've weathered the storm. He said he can tell I'm growing. I'm just so glad he took me back and didn't give up

Just got home. Bought a new bluetooth speaker. 500 dollars. My dad gave me money. I didnt ask for it. He felt since i used mine all the time and it broke that i deserve a new one.

Yes, unless you know my rl identity. I still have not shared that much of my life or illness.

Wow what brand was that Bose or something?

Marshall.

Marshall makes guitar amps so i trust them with sound, as a musician myself. Its the top brand in guitar amps, next to Fender. This thing is wayyyy better than bose. Its got more watts and a wider frequency response.

Ok cool 😎 enjoy!

I am very private IRL. I share more online than I do IRL. I don't care for people knowing my business.

Thats exactly like me.

SP,

Im not knocking bose. Marshall makes guitar amps and then some other smaller things like this bluetooth speaker. But they dont make home theatre stuff. Im sure bose is one of the best in that market.

I still have an amp with surround sound I bought in high school....it was $120 which was a huge amount of money back then but I still have it today....I can use a headphone jack to connect it to my phone but soon that will be no more. It has spots for tape decks and such. Only 120 watts but in apartments/condos you can't exactly blast it. It's an RCA I don't think they exist anymore. Plus the Dolby surround is the oldest version.

It sounds like you're way more into music than me....

I have a rare calm delusion because it has insight in where I don't know if it's real or not. But I know that my psychologist/psych nurse and the woman filling in for him that gave me the injection this morning both hate me because I did drugs.

I feel like a failure in my life and identity and that I can't be helped.



I just felt that way when I was taking a strong stimulant at the end of my injection.



It's the most horrifying experience ever.

I was just guessing Bose was mostly known for miniaturization speakers use to take up a huge amount of real estate in the living room...we always out our tvs through the surround sound my dad has some ridiculous speaker system that's so loud it could play for the block......I can't remember the watts at least 500 but I'm thinking that was his little one.

Yea

Well dang. This one is only 90 watts. The one i had that broke last month was 80. I wouldve gotten a more powerful one but i needed one with bluetooth as my phone (and now all the rest of the iphones) doesnt have headphone jacks.

Instead of replacing my old one i got this one because it also has a wider frequency response. It goes down to 35 hertz which is lower than my old one. So it has nicer bass sound. Plus it has 2 subwoofers instead of 1 like my old one. Also you can hook it up to a turntable.

Also my dad has an insane 80s RCA soundsystem. Its powerful. But its broken now and just sitting in the living and no longer compatible with anything except tapes and turntables.