Roll Call 112

I'm glad your day (morning, afternoon, or night?) is going.well, Findingreason. I of course never got there, because the universe doesn't.want me to get there. When I was at home I called to.cancel a few times and now in the damned nursing home even I can't get there. Just have to pray they won't fire my ***. And someone got into my phone and read unflattering things I've said about staff members. I don't know how.

I'm sorry things happened the way they did, Angelique. I'm....not great at the moment. Will post about it in a couple moments.

Loial alerted me to a news article regarding a Kernel memory leak on Intel CPUs over the last decade. I remained skeptical of it as there was not any major sources holding updates about it. But one of the primary channels I watch on YouTube covered it, and allegedly Linux has already released a patch for it:

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/0...u_design_flaw/



We will see in the coming week. But I could be doing virtualization on my computer for school, which could be one of the major performance loss parts of this Intel vulnerability. I did not pay what I had for this i7-8700K to lose the performance I will. I will be crawling down Intel's spine with claws digging to replace my CPU when a hardware level fix for this is issued. I am furious.

The weird part about this? I had a dream last night about something happening with Intel. This is creepy....

Are you OK? What happened?

Problem with freelancing is you won't get health insurance----its costing me $600 a month for that while I'm out of work. I guess I was wondering if before you start correcting the bf for not planning you should maybe have a solid plan yourself for your contribution. I imagine he's not going to be able to support you.

I agree that philosophy isn't really practical at least unless you get a doctorate but that takes many years and even then you'd be lucky to get a job.

Is there something that draws you in that has benefits? For me its been a complex road to choosing a career that I can do, that has benefits, and pays a decent living. This combination is why I decided on IT. It may or may not work out but I figure I can at least handle help desk and it will keep me in meds. That's why I'm going to get my A+ in a few months and if I don't like it its not that much of an investment like a 4 year program would be. It might be something you might consider, get a job like that until you can get a job you truly enjoy.

Not to be too hard on you, but I guess I'm worried about how much you're pushing the bf without equal consideration of your own plans.

Wow, I hate when technical things go wrong. I hope your CPU won't experience the slow down.

Thanks! Me too. Cause I bought this CPU for its very high processing power in the desktop...I plan on doing very demanding workloads on this CPU.

The only plan i really dont have worked out is the job plan. And thats because i wouldnt need to maybe get a job until we marry, if that happens.

I have to be careful about getting a job unless i am sure we are actually going through with that next step. You know, the M word. (Im kind of afraid of it) i have to be careful because it will COMPLETELY be terminated for the rest of my life (my understanding) when and if i do get married.

With that said people like my peer worker keep saying i cant work. I kinda think i can. I would just need a low stress job. Which idk where to find. I hope im ready for a job...but idk. I would prefer to work from home. Like valley does.

But even if i got a job outside of home, id have to maybe quit not long after for a few years to support a kid. We both want one. Id have to get on SSI instead of ssdi and get medicaid (if i even could). But id only get a fraction of the money like 700 instead of over 1K like im getting now. And i dont think i can help pay for rent and a kid with that plus all my personal bills tho. So idk. But i cant exactly work with an infant and my parents wont be able to care for it. So idk.

I might have to drop out of ASU.

Idk what to do

Ok question, the M word is like a bomb to everything you have, why are you so fixated on it? Do you really have to be married---couldn't you just live together and have it between yourself and him that its forever? Why make it legal?

Its one of my dreams. Who wouldnt like to have a man get on one knee and then have a wedding? And to take his last name. And everything like that?

But even then, its for security. Security for me and my children.

She cut my lip open with the scraper thingy. It took 2 hours. 4 cavities filled on 3 teeth this time. Made 2 more appointments. Will be glad when it's over with

Newtus... Medical coders can work from home and a lot do. It was 1.5 years of community college for my degree and then the certification exam

These are the average salaries depending on location

Is there benefits?

Yes...... Depending on the company you work for

Part of this whole marriage thing is kinda part of my obsessive compulsive nature.

But the other part is i see all my friends and family like my sister, settling down. And my friends, im losing them. Im losing my friends. Yep. Even my sister. Because everyone is busy with their other half or kids. And i am (not so much anymore) still very lonely and have tons of free time for someone my age who should either have a family or a career or both.

Everyday someone on my facebook gets fvcking married or has a child. Its depressing.

For me I've decided not to get married so that's why I was wondering.........

In an idealistic way I still like the idea but when the reality of expectations hits I'm not into it.

For example, you were fine with your bf until you started thinking M word----expectations have increased.

The bf and I talked about it and he said he would expect more from me if we got married and I was like people don't change, maybe for a couple of years but then they'll go back to what they were doing. He would expect me to clean more and to bake him cookies spontaneously and stuff like that. I was just like wha? If he wants that stuff he's more than capable of doing it himself.

Plus he started having medical issues affecting his sex drive-----marriage is for better or worse, you can't just bail if someone gets sick etc even if its chronic. I still love him but right now we're at about once a month---its not really enough for me. I started thinking I never want to be trapped in a relationship if the other person can change like that, and with how young you are he will change and not all the changes will be positive.

Yay my phone dings when I get texts and phone calls. It wasn’t working and I thought I’d have to bring it back.
I finished working a little while ago. It’s been so busy. I feel like I’ll never really catch up. My boss doesn’t care how long I work but I can only work for so long. I’m no longer cut out for 8 hour days.

Met with my t. It went well

So you would bail if he had medical issues tho or anything like that? Thats not good.

The bf and i are old school when it comes to our views. For the most part. We are both young with parents in their 60’s/70’s. Also considering we live in the south, We think alike in terms of old school marriage. Whooping kids and the wife having a hot meal on the table after work. A lot of stuff like that. He was taught that. I was taught that.

Now if he ever abused me or anything (i dont believe he would) yea id leave but i cant imagine leaving him over a medical issue. Ive been alone for almost 10 years. 1 of which (total) i was with the ex. I really cant see it getting too much worse than having to sit in a room all day, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling like ive been doing for the past decade.

Honestly, thats why i really want to wait for the whole job thing. Cuz if the living together doesnt work out (i hope it does) then i wont have abandoned school for a job, and changed around too much of my life if we arent gonna get married. Cuz once i get a job and working itll start the 9 month work trial period of ssdi. After that ill lose it. Unless im married. Then its terminated for good.

Oh and while marriage was my idea, it was HIS idea to move in together. Cuz like i said even tho yes im in love with him, im not about to sign a year to a lease unless i have a future with someone. Fortunately we seem to be on the same page.

Yall didnt give this much flack to 12am?

Not to be a Debbie downer Newtus, but marriage doesn't guarantee stability for you or future offspring. If it did, the divorce rate wouldn't be 1 out of every 2 marriages end in divorce. I know the pro's a marriage brings (legal decision making over each other, being able to buy a house together, filing taxes, etc) because I wanted that so much because the wife and I couldn't marry until 2015 when gay marriage became legal. The most important thing was legal decision for me. We wouldn't be able to adopt and if something happened to one of us and we ended up in the hospital we wouldn't be able to make decision on how things played out if it was required. So yes, I know and fell the way you do about marriage (still do), but it shouldn't be a end all be all of your relationship. Like SP said, it should matter on how you guys feel about each other and how you hold your relationship to be not some piece of paper (though that piece of paper matters to me a lot more than it matters to the wife because she was happy with us not getting married. She only got married because she knew it was really important to me, though I wasn't going to break the relationship off if she didn't marry me).

I've been lurking the thread for a while now, and I notice you're putting a lot of pressure on your man to change his life (career, schooling, etc.). I don't know about your man, but that would be a real turn off for me. I know you do it out of love (or at least I hope you do) but maybe you should let him come to the conclusion that he needs a change in his life. I personally, would be resentful if all I heard from my wife was negative things about my life and life choices.

Anyways, just my two cents in the matter. Hope all works out for you two since you seem to really love each other.

Wow!

Im not negative to him at all. I support him. Ive accepted he doesnt want school but hes also told me he wanted to go when we met. And he wants to move up in his position at work, so i support him in that by giving him positive words of affirmation and telling him he can.

Im gonna quit talking about this.

I feel unsafe here on a public forum. This is why people say dont put your business out there like your relationships because no one truly knows.

I think im gonna start posting on facebook.

For those that dont know, i use this place to vent about everyday issues. I dont talk about the happy stuff here because if im doing well/am busy with life, you will not see me on here. Like you all have recently seen me off and on here in the past few months.

Havent been feeling like getting on here much to begin with ever since the group started. Because ive become more of a private person over the past half year. And i feel safer on the group.

12am isn't complaining about her man and they've been together like a year. If you weren't complaining I wouldn't be saying a thing, I'd be wishing you good luck.

As far as the medical issues----would you really be comfortable never having sex again for the rest of your life? My bf is ten years older so he's going to get to that point much sooner than me. I'm not saying I will bail but I want the option. As someone monogamous I only have one person to go to in the whole world for that so its a problem if he can't.

I'm in the relationship to have fun not to have more burden, I can barely take care of myself.....what if I were the breadwinner because he couldn't work?