Roll Call 113

I ordered Cinnamon Toast Cereal flavor from VapeWild.

Damn it. I am so frustrated and disheartened right now. So, I missed my olanzapine dose last night cause I slept through everything. 7.5mg has been making me sleep something fierce the last few days. Well, this morning I decided **** it, I'm not taking it cause otherwise I'll sleep all day again. Well, on the bright side I was able to stay up the whole day. 14 hours and going. Like how it used to be before all this.

Others have been able to come off these meds (if I can even call them that, more like poison in my minds eye). Why can't I? Apparently I get weird. I guess. Either I am medicated and sleepy all the time (5mg still makes me sleepy all the time, and I sleep 10-12 hours a night on it), and not psychotic. Or, I don't take these meds, have energy, but then risk getting psychotic in behavior.

I guess I can always try a new AP. My pdoc even wanted to consider it in a few months. Maybe Latuda or Geodon this time. But I am so exhausted trying these meds. I fear I will be debilitated when comes time to start school or do the rehabilitation activities. I just want to go without these meds. I don't want them. I don't want them.

**sigh** am I not being myself? ugh. I don't know.

I vowed to not vape or smoke anymore, but that sounds freaking good right now....

Ive been at children's hospital since 7am. My niece is just now getting out of surgery. They put pins in her arm and had to check a nerve and something was pinching it. They fixed it. She got her purple cast (my girl).

Oh wow, I didn't know they made that. Next order.

Flippin headache.

I feel like shyt

I need to keep looking for side jobs but i just wanna lay down

I slept after the morning vape until lunch. Recently came in from the 1pm vape.

They removed the bar frame from my bed and I don't know why. So I have three things on cords that have no frame to set on now.

Miss Universe said hello in the lounge. Makes me wonder what she's planning or setting up.

I hope my mail comes today.

Bringing my daughter to the mall tomorrow. We have to exchange some jeans and pick up some leggings. Yesterday I brought my son to the store for new shoes. These kids are going to break me lol.
I’m so bored. My daughter is sick so she’s just laying around my son is still at school and my husband is at work. I don’t want to work anymore so I have nothing to do.

Another thing I probably see the doctor about. I’ve been having issues in the last several weeks, possibly months with muscle rigidity, flexibility problems, stiffness and sometimes pain while bending. I’m 28 but feel like I’m way older. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

Pumpkin spice hot chocolate.

It's like I'm drinking a sugary chocolate pumpkin.

Your thoughts and agitation is like how I have been lately.

7.5mg olanzepine I take when everything is bad but it makes me sleep for 24 hours.

I went outside to get my mail and felt kinda good. Then i came back in and my nose started up again. Something is causing my allergies in this house i think.

Didn't you think you had a pet allergy?

That sounds so good! Wondering if I should make a small cup of instant coffee.

Yea. Its either that or dust or, maybe even mold since there was a leak recently and my dad only replaced the vinyl. But when i vape it gets worse.

I feel like so so so bad.

Having severe pain in my left hand and numbness. It kept me up all night

Please see a doctor...

I'm worried they'll try to give me pain meds

And I'm worried I wont say no...

I'm more worried you could be having a heart attack.......

Omg what???? I thought it was ur right arm

I'm going to urgent care right now thank y

Ugh i tried to call my doctor but they are closed after 12 on Wednesday......ugh!!! They are like never open but like 2 or 3 days a week during certain hours.

Something in the air is making me sick. Idk if its cat hair or dust or what. But im gonna have to stay in my room all day today

I'm scurred now