Roll Call #115

We dream during REM sleep.

I know that feeling... where you just seem to go from dream to dream through the night. I usually feel less refreshed when that happens.

Yes. Keep moving forward with all the good ideas you've had the past few weeks and soon you'll be out and about and not as lonely.

I know how you feel no one is coming over this weekend due to the snow. I just tried my mom, she’s busy. Just doing laundry instead, not in a study mood today. Not even sure my vegetables will show up later. Kind of blah.

Sucks. ☹️

I guess I went around 4 years like that before I started college.

Bf’s playing xbox.

Im just here.

I think REM sleep has something to do with serotonin.

Your Olanzepine antagonises serotonin 2A receptors and so does my Invega and we seem to be having the same problem.

If your serotonin is out of whack, you won't sleep well.

Bad dark thoughts that you are having has to do with too much or too little serotonin.

Are you on an SSRI?

I took a gabapentin because my heart rate is fast

Yes. I’ve been on the max dose of Citalopram (40mg... some people have higher but in the UK that is max) for a year and a half now. It’s always been a pretty good med for me... just works in the background.

PS - neurotransmitters are indeed fascinating things.

Damn my cat went into my dads closet and knocked everything down. Ugh. Hes gonna be pissed.

When I started and went off Prozac, my dreams have never been so vivid.

Maybe the only way we can't be psychotic is hallucinate while we're sleeping instead of awake..

Which makes us tired as hell.

And if we hallucinate while awake, we don't sleep at night.

I think I figured this out a little..

The paradox..

Wow i didn't know it was a book. I loved that show. Just finished the last episode this morning. The atmosphere reminded me of Balde Runner. The main character was a bit hunky for me but oh well. Lots of grade A nudity. lol Let us know how you like the book please.

Snow day. we are projected to get about 10 inches. Can't wait to have the kid next door shovel our place. he doesn't do that great of job though lol. oh well. I went grocery shopping so i could stay in. I have 14 Labatt's with my name on it. Woot woot!

Hm

The bf was just telling me his paychecks havent been enough to pay the bills but hes got a new video game. I saw him on xbox playing it. Unless he bought it with his credit card. He did say when he had the money he was gonna buy it.

I probably wont worry about it now but i will when we start to save money to move in together....Even though we shouldve started saving since January.

Nevermind. His friend bought it for him.

Thats what happens when you jump to conclusions i guess.

I didn’t make it for my blood work. Will have to go next week. Stupid cholesterol.

Im bored. Real bored.

I wish at least that volunteer thing started sooner than 2 weeks. But i guess it doesnt matter since id still have to go through 2-3 months of training for it.

I dont have money to go anywhere because i dont have much money. I have to save at least 50 dollars for the hotel deposit.

The book doesn’t leave much to the imagination either...

Saw the doctor again. The meds might be aggravating my sickness so we’re lowering the dose. Hopefully start feeling better now. And hopefully not crazy either lol.

Whats everyone doing?

Do you know what you’ll be doing for volunteer work? That’s such a good way to give back.
When I was manic I unofficially volunteered at the animal shelter. I’d go in everyday play with the dogs take them on walks all the good stuff. I found it to be very therapeutic until I started bringing them all home.

Just made chai...
Talked to the bf briefly....he thinks I should go to a bookstore or movie this weekend since I’ll be alone. I can walk to either but only garbage is on at the movies. I might rent something at redbox instead. At least I’d get out a little. Maybe I can find a nc travel guide.

Talking to people in crisis. I volunteered with the Crisis Text Line. But i have to train 30 hours for it and pass the course. Then i can do 200 hours of volunteer work.

Nothing good is ever on at the movies. I kinda wanna see Winchester tho. Because my mom grew up 30 min away from the winchester house. But theyve just turned it into a horror movie. So idk.

Id go somewhere but no money really. I still have a bill or two to pay, along with the hotel deposit. But i need coils. Mine are burnt.

I hate that i have to call my mom so often. By often i mean every 2 days or so. She doesnt seem to like that i call her so much. I dont either because she always puts up a fight about it.