Roll Call 127

3 more hours

gotta flip and then wrap the salad bar

Not done yet

Going to dinner soon

Waiting for my husband to finish working on his shed so we can get dinner. I’m hungry tonight.
Went to visit gram earlier.

God i saw the little hunting gear for babies and toddlers today.

I have baby fever yet again

I wonder what the science behind baby fever is.

Ive never had baby fever so strong in my life. I had it with my ex but once i realized how he was shortly after, it stopped. The bf now really tacks in the emotion i feel toward wanting a baby. Its extremely strong since ive been with him. I didnt even feel it this strong at all with my ex.

*Sigh*

Im gonna be 28 next month.

I want a family so badly. More than anything right now tho i feel like i want to get married. More than wanting a baby right now.

It also doesnt help that freakin everyone on my fb is getting married. Everyone from high school.

My mom just told me 2 of my cousins are having a baby too. They are on their third child and 1 cousin just had one. Im the only one in the family without a baby. Even worse, only one without a husband. Im the baby cousin out of 7 aunts and uncles children. I told my mom not to talk to me about them having their 3rd child because it seriously upset me that i dont have one.

I find myself wanting to be around children more and being drawn to children more.

baby fever sucks sith i can't afford to be in a room with one

I get baby fever all.the.time and my baby is 12 lol.

oh great you mean it never ends!!!!!!!!! whow human bodies are a curse and a prison

im taking a college algebra class on edx to get refreshed for my placements tests (major recommended pre-calc first semester oof) and wow i forgot how much i legitimately enjoy math even if im terrible at it. problem solving is so soothing.

I've never wanted kids so I don't get baby fever lol

This is why roll call is quiet when im not around. Its cuz im not ranting.

It feels like psychic Vladimir Putin is after me again.

I know probably a lot of people with mental illness dont want children. The people i have met with both children and mental illness, didnt have mental illness until after they had children. Or at least were later diagnosed after.

I do feel like somewhat of an exception because i knew alot of people on here dont want children.

ive ended up living up to all that crap everyone always says -- "oh you dont want kids now? just you wait sweaty :~)"

bioclocks are real and theyre working curses on my unwilling and financially/mentally/probably physically unable ***

Thats not nice. Why would they call you sweaty?

Nevermind i think you mean “sweety”? Sorry

yeah i meant sweety my bad

Surely there cant be something wrong with me to believe im quite in love after almost 10 months? I knew it at the third month. Maybe even the second.

Why would there be something wrong, normally it starts strong then fades...

Mine has stayed strong this whole 10 months. And it only gets stronger.

While i know that everyone has a fantasy they want to live up to....i only hope that IF ANYTHING...if any ONE of my fantasies come true its that i find someone that loves me like i love them. I dont care about degrees ill never have or shyt like that. Money ill never have etc...

I just want love.

My friend wants me to move in with him into his room but I want my own room. Not really though. I want my own apartment. I have one but there's nothing there to do where my apartment is.

I have to wait until my mom has her heart surgery then I can argue about her taking 1500 dollars out of my account every month and using 1000 to pay for the old house. I should just be paying like 400 dollars a month of rent now because my moms rent for the place I'm staying in is 650 utilities included.

It's like because it's disability money that I shouldn't have it and it's just money that doesn't matter. I'm sure if I didn't become mentally ill, I would have already almost finished college by now.

There's so much stuff going through my head about life and work and people and whatever. My heart is beating 90bpm but it feels faster.

I'm so exhausted from existing.

Rant over.. (This rant doesn't really matter I'm completely comfortable with my situation just letting some of it out helps..)

Now you are a true psychedelic hippie