Roll Call 141!

Have a good night everyone. Hope everyone is doing well.

I feel very strange. I'm not sure what's happening

you should eat, my friend. food gives body nutrients in order to survive.

I cant sleep because of the alcohol demons

I feel awake but I want to sleep.. so I toss and turn

I did

it's just I think I may have ended up with food poisoning or taken too many of my meds or something on accident, something must have happened because I got extremely sick. I still feel weak and a little strange but not as severe as it was all night

I'm glad I have my cats. They were snuggling with me all night. I felt like I was gonna die and was scared

Hey everyone, how are things going today?

I'm doing pretty well. I'm just a little tired and running on caffeine and adrenaline. I've been up for 24 hours and counting. Gonna stay up the whole day so we're looking at 36 hours...I know my therapist is gonna lecture me about this at 3pm today when we meet.

Oh well, it is what it is...

ah... hopefully you can eat something and keep it down later on. food poisoning sucks but i've gotten use to it when working and eating food from work. once i threw up and **** at the same time. luckily it's not been that violent when it comes to food poisoning in a while.

good luck with the therapist!

I see my therapist today too. after work at 4

Morning
Took my meds and had half a cup of coffee. Thats all i need these days. Cuz the zoloft.

Work soon

Hey guys! Hope everyone is doing well.
I’m bored again. Finished work at 9:30. I need something to do other than lay on my ***.
My Christmas stockings came in. They are so cute. The elf will bring them on Christmas Eve with our jammies and cocoa. It’s soooop close now.
I think I’ll try to take a nap to pass the time. I’m kind of sleepy .

Taking my final exam soon. At the college. Hung out with my friend for a couple hours while she studied for her sign language final

Good luck! I hope it goes well!

I wonder if someone's trying to poison me. This has happened once before, several years ago when I was like 18 or 19. I had the same experience, it was like being on some kind of bad trip

My final exam went well

Yeah! Glad to hear that!

My Church gave away approx 150 Christmas Dinners this weekend and approx 400 toys to children in our community. It feels good to give back especially at the holiday season. Kit

I only missed 4 questions out of 50 on the exam. Which means my final grade for the class averages out to an A

That's great! It does feel good giving back, I really enjoyed when we did our service learning projects this semester and I volunteered to help serve a community meal

Took morning meds and still couldn't get out of bed. Now I did and I'm just hella tired. I see the college again today to talk about my course.

The light in my brain is off. The spark is gone. There's no point of anything it feels..

Great Job Blue_Bird!

My shift is over.

Nothing.

I've been really negative lately. My affect is so flat. I was working at a Daycare, remodeling the bathroom: removing the 2 layers of wallpaper, washing the walls,applied 3 coats of koint compound to smooth the walls out, prime, and check if a ineeded to smooth the walls out more, then painted the 3 walls, and waited the next day to paint the dark blue brick wall that acts as an accent.

The lady was very friendly, she told me she use to babysit my boss's son. My response was so cold, all I said, was, "yeah I know" but I didn't even smile when I said it. I just have no enthusiasm or interest. This flat affect or anhedonia is really starting to show as the years pass. Nothing excites me except for a few hours each weekend where I drink beer and write, and that's doesn't make me happy, it just makes life more interesting.

Well, I'm switching to decaf coffee and low caffeine content teas and herbal teas. I really need to be careful. I know all the coffee didn't cause the symptoms over the past week but I'm sure it certainly didn't help. This stuff, same exact thing that happened when Zoloft triggered a manic episode when I was 18. I felt the same exact way, same pattern of escalation, then paranoia and weird beliefs, barely any sleep for a week, agitation/irritability, restlessness/exercising for hours at a time (not necessarily bad I guess but I don't typically exercise like that. I went from not going to the gym in 6 months to that within a couple days) , feeling disconnected , thinking I'm dead etc.

I can't control it all but I can make some changes