Roll Call 142!

My dad came over and we had coffee together!

Hes gone now

Waiting for my environmental science class to start. Can't wait to go home, it's already been a long day. Woke up @4:30am. I have to stop at the pharmacy on the way back and pick something up.

As soon as I get home I'm throwing on some pajamas, drinking a nice hot cup of coffee, and relaxing with my cats ☕️

Class is over. Going to go to coffee connections then go to the gym.. making myself hot chocolate first cuz im cold as hell.. Then I have to hand in an assignment.. might go skiing tomorrow not sure..

Just got home. Classes went really well. It was a heck of an adventure trying to navigate around town with 15 inches of snow, like walking on mountain terrain or something.

Now I can relax and have some coffee

Everyone’s making hot cocoa and coffee.

Ima make hot apple cider.

Drinking cappuccino. Yummmm
I fell asleep for 2 hours. Felt so good.
Nothing really going on. I have to log in to work and do a couple things. Then I have to cook. Blah

Im real bummed i didnt get any hours for instacart this week

I spent my entire lunch talking with my boss' (or is it Boss's?) wife teaching her about how meds work, and what meds do what. She has pretty bad anxiety. Aparently she's getting migraines and heart palpitations when she increased her Zoloft? Does anyone know why that might occur? So she cut it back down to her normal dosage. She said she is getting nightmares at night. I think that might be because she might feel withdrawal from the Zoloft since she might not be metabolizing it correctly anymore. So the pdoc gave her a prescription of Klonopin .25mgs for at night and in the morning. She had to come home early today because she felt so tired, so I told her to just take the nightly one since that's the only time she ever gets anxiety. I'm also concerned of the half life of klonopin. It's the benzo with the largest half life so if just taking it at night still isn't working, meaning she can't work in the morning still, then maybe Ativan (12hr halflife) or Restoril (7 hour half life) would be better.

My coworker, the female one, said my standards for women are way to high, dating wise. lol I don't think that's true, but I mean, if I'm not attracted to who im dating in areas that are critical for me, then why should I waste their time? The real thing is that I don't even try anymore since I can't feel loneliness. So I jut stick to writing, reading, going out to cars alone to treat my negative symptoms so I can write, so I have the motivation to write. So it's kind of win-win for me. I save money and I build myself up. Man, when I was going on dates all the time it would rack up very expensive bills when going out. :-/

SP, is the treatment for drug induced psychosis different with MI related psychosis? I read your response in another thread.

I bought Robusta coffee yesterday, I add creamer on it. Tastes so good!

Sometimes yes.....it’s shorter term, you still use APs but sometimes you can get off after a brief period.

Brain is on information overload from today so I'm just relaxing and watching stuff on Netflix till I take my meds and go to sleep. I have tomorrow off and I'll be working on tons of stuff

My paranoia is starting to rise for some reason. It's really disturbing. I hate that feeling of dread when you make a logical leap wondering how low people will go when trying to attack you. My claims are logical, but I have nothing to base them on. It's just a matter of how shallow people will go because of things they don't even understand. I do have shallow enemies, it's just a matter of understanding how low they will go in their ignorance.

My mom wants me to get a girlfriend so she can take care of me and I take care of her etc and that sounds sweet and all but I said that it's stupid. She said "lol why?" and I said maybe in the future but not now.

I should tell her I'm bi but there's no pressure to come out of the closet when you're bi especially since I don't want sex with anyone so I'm pretty asexual. Someone has to be completely extraordinary for me to like them in that way. The chances of finding someone like that are slim. Too high expectation.

Also asexual because of the meds and I like it this way. The old man in the hospital creeped me out beyond trauma cuz if people feel they need to get close to me in order to have sex and then feel guilty about it and cry and jerk off then I think it's some sort of shallow drug without meaning.

Sex is just a race to the bottom of the brain stem. But I'm happy that people have sex because what would be the point for people to go out drinking? To talk about the universe? No..

Life is this, we procreate and then die. That's all it is.

Some people procraete with their body, and some with their mind, meaning sharing and exploring ideas, at least that's what Socrates says in the dialogue Symposium.

i have a couple of potential mates. one online and one that wants me to move in with him once he gets his trailer. not sure what to do. i'm playing this out to see what happens. who knows i may be out on my own here shortly.

I just want frienddss

The world is so lonely with groups of two

My cousin is a polyamorous

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggs

friendssssssssssssss

If anything ever happened to my husband I would stay alone. I would probably be lonely but since I’m not into sex it’s probably be difficult to find a partner that didn’t want sex.
I don’t think I could love anyone else either. He’s my lobster

Watching some anime

SP is right in what she says. I have some experience here though so will elaborate a bit.

Drug-induced psychosis can be instisdinbushable symptom-wise compared to schizophrenia and APs are the main treatment just like all psychosis. It just stems from the drug use. Generally speaking it lasts until the drug is out the system or up to a few months. Also it lacks the relapsing pattern of schizophrenia and I’m not sure negative symptoms exist for it. So there is no need for long-term treatment after symptoms have abated.

Myself, latterly I’ve had symptoms for 4 and a half years now. My p-doc says research shows drug-induced psychosis can persist as long as 3 years at the outer limits but the jury is still out for me. I guess I’m just prone to psychosis one way or the other.

Morning,

I had an awesome dream last night. I woke up and just thought “cool”. Basically I went to a movie theatre to see Doctor Who. There was a new episode and a repeat but I chose to go see the repeat. I can’t remember what happened really but it was all going as expected but then it became interactive and I was in the plot. It was a lot of fun. I wish I could remember more details.

So update re: coming off olanzapine.

I’ve not really noticed any withdrawal symptoms. I’m not falling asleep quite so easily but I’m certainly not getting any obvious insomnia. In many ways I still feel the same as I did on the olanzapine. Tired in the day and sleeping 10+ hours. Still waiting to see if I get more motivation back but I guess it’ll take a few weeks for my brain chemicals to sort themselves out.

As far as symptoms go my voices have been a little bit more persistent but they haven’t really gotten worse as such. I have had a couple of paranoid thoughts but again nothing major. So so far so good I guess.

I think I’m feeling ill. A bit queasy and stuff.