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#52
Jan 08, 2019, 02:20 PM
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 Blue_Bird
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#53
Jan 08, 2019, 02:20 PM
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Went to see my guy and his wife for a while. It was nice to get out of the house but all I could think about was curling up on the couch. I’m exhausted...perpetually it seems.
I have the fire blaring, the lights off, candles on, and I’m snuggled under my blanket with the dogs. Too bad the kids will be home soon. I’d like to sleep.
__________________
Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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 Findingreason, Loial, SlumberKitty
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| Blue_Bird
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#54
Jan 08, 2019, 02:22 PM
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I'm feeling anxious today. I'm thinking about taking a xanax. I'm trying not to but it just seems like the anxiety is getting worse. I did some breathing exercises and stuff. Kit
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| Blue_Bird, Findingreason, Sometimes psychotic
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#55
Jan 08, 2019, 02:23 PM
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| ofthevalley
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#56
Jan 08, 2019, 02:51 PM
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| Loial
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#57
Jan 08, 2019, 02:53 PM
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| ofthevalley
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#58
Jan 08, 2019, 03:34 PM
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Hope you feel better Kit  anxiety sucks
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| SlumberKitty
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| SlumberKitty
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#59
Jan 08, 2019, 03:38 PM
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I want to as well but I'm supposed to be going somewhere later. I just want to snuggle under the blankets with my cats and sleep. I'm exhausted. I had a lot of energy earlier but it's gone now.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Loial, SlumberKitty
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#60
Jan 08, 2019, 05:44 PM
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Bought a gym membership today
__________________
"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Findingreason, Loial, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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#61
Jan 08, 2019, 06:12 PM
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Class was ok. Got studying to do. Went to have coffee with random people and chatted for 2 hours. Going skiing tomorrow.
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| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Findingreason, Loial, ofthevalley, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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#62
Jan 08, 2019, 06:56 PM
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| Blue_Bird
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#63
Jan 08, 2019, 06:57 PM
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Been craving cheerios. Regular, yellow box cheerios. Hmm. Kit
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| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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#64
Jan 08, 2019, 07:40 PM
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OMG...yes!
This speaks to my innards. 
__________________
Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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| Erti
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| Angelique67, Erti, junkDNA, Loial, SlumberKitty
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#66
Jan 08, 2019, 08:36 PM
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Goodnight everyone. I hope everyone sleeps well.
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| SlumberKitty
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| Blue_Bird, falcon09, ofthevalley
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#67
Jan 08, 2019, 09:19 PM
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Goodnight!
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| Blue_Bird
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#68
Jan 08, 2019, 09:26 PM
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Had a great time at the movies with a couple friends
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Angelique67, falcon09, junkDNA, Loial, ofthevalley, SlumberKitty
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#69
Jan 09, 2019, 02:30 AM
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I wrote this on reddit;
I feel like I always have to justify myself to everyone. I say things that people take out of context. When someone looks down on me, they are right. I am wrong. Like I am a bad person. I need constant reassurance. I don't believe in myself like I have no worth. I contemplated calling the suicide hotline because all I have is my mom and there's a chance that she's going to die soon because of her severe heart condition. She's the only reason why I won't end it. I have my dad but he doesn't live with me and my brother and sister are doing their own thing. Living their own life. I hate my life. I spent the last hour crying. I was doing so well mentally with my schizophrenia but now it just feels fake like love is fake like the world is a dark place and I feel like my soul is empty and I don't see anything beautiful because of my own ego and existence bringing me down. I want to be someone else. I want to go to sleep and not wake up but then the pain would just go to my family. I don't know what to say to my therapist. Outward it looks like I'm keeping it together so everyone always praises me on how well I'm doing but it doesn't feel real. I have no reassurance that I'm not losing my mind with depression and that these feelings are real. It's like "Everyone feels this way in life" then how do they do it? How do they get up in the morning, have relationships, work a ****** job. I don't get it. I want to find spirituality but I feel like **** and my brain isn't working right or something. I'm never happy with what I have because I'm an idealist and my reality doesn't match my dreams. My step dad abused me and he won the lottery and got away with it. I'm in so much pain. |
| Blue_Bird, Loial, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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#71
Jan 09, 2019, 04:20 AM
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day 5 of working a week straight... gonna go to the gym w my coworker after work again... there is a lot of drama at work
it's kinda exhausting keeping up with it ..why is it that when I finally do manage to integrate with my coworkers and make actual friendships that drama always comes with that. why can't ppl just b mellow and chill and communicate. idk but I don't much like it. seems that this is why I prefer being on my own lol
__________________
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| Sometimes psychotic
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| Blue_Bird, ofthevalley, SlumberKitty
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#72
Jan 09, 2019, 07:48 AM
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Good morning
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Angelique67, Findingreason, ofthevalley, SlumberKitty
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#73
Jan 09, 2019, 10:16 AM
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Morning! Finished work yay!
I am absolutely freezing  . The thermostat says 71 but there’s no way. My hands and feet are ice cubes. My husband didn’t start a fire this morning...gotta clean the stove. Nothing going on today. Going to try to get a nap in I think. Brunch...aside from the Cheerios I’m following my new diet. So damn hungry though I have to have the cereal. 
__________________
Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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| Anonymous40796, Blue_Bird, Findingreason, Loial, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, Findingreason, Loial, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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#74
Jan 09, 2019, 10:43 AM
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Good morning again, fell asleep for another few hours.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Findingreason, Loial, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
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| Angelique67
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#75
Jan 09, 2019, 11:31 AM
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Morning
Having coffee and took my meds
__________________
"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
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