Roll Call 144

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 09:34 AM

I sent the bf a long message. He never replied to me.

Sometimes psychotic · Mar 17, 2019, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Im torn up

Bf is always mad at me these days. And it leaves me fighting back at him. He says everything was great when we moved here for the first few months. Saying that i paid half of the bills, took care of the apt, etc. now apparently i dont anymore.

Which isnt true partially

The first few months we didnt have a lot of bills. Our electric has gone up. We added streaming tv. We added a mattress payment. We added the apple watch payment. (My mistake on that. Im stupid)

I cleaned yes a lot in the beginning. It was easy. Barely anything was dirty when we first moved. Now we have a new dog. The pet hair is everywhere. Etc we cant afford certain things.

Then i got severely depressed for 2 months. I stopped cleaning or even taking care of myself. Hes angry at me for it. Saying he has to do everything himself. And then it makes ME angry. Cuz i was depressed as hell and he just yelled at me for it the whole 2 months. “Why arent u doing this/that?” “Im sick of coming home to this shythole”. Now im depressed again.

Im gonna do better but i fckin hate being berated and critisized!!!

Newtus for your sake and the sake of the relationship if your depression is that bad it needs treatment. You need to get a med adjustment and/or therapy when that happens. If you won’t do it for you then do it for him. Now if you’re trying your hardest to get better and it’s not working that’s different. That’s when you explain that its beyond your control and hope for acceptance.

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Newtus for your sake and the sake of the relationship if your depression is that bad it needs treatment. You need to get a med adjustment and/or therapy when that happens. If you won’t do it for you then do it for him. Now if you’re trying your hardest to get better and it’s not working that’s different. That’s when you explain that its beyond your control and hope for acceptance.

I see. Well i started therapy last thursday. I see my pdoc at the end of this month. We will see what she says. I will do it for him cuz ive given up hope on me. I really have been trying tho a lot. Taking all these supplemental pills for depression. Ive made myself get up and clean. Etc

ofthevalley · Mar 17, 2019, 09:53 AM

I swear that damn groundhog needs to be fired. Early Spring my ***.
It is SO cold again today. I’m over it. We’ve been running the wood stove since October.
I just want to open the windows and doors and breathe!

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 09:58 AM

I hate my life

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 09:59 AM

Sad thing is, i cant really tell anyone i hate my life because they will ask questions and i just dont want that.

What i mean is i dont want that from friends or family.

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 10:03 AM

Another depression is coming

Blue_Bird · Mar 17, 2019, 10:14 AM

I want to go back to sleep. Really tired

12AM · Mar 17, 2019, 10:37 AM

Bought some Zync, wondering whether my tiredness is from anemia cause I have a history of it. If this not helping I’ll follow SP’s step and get some fish oil.

Blue_Bird · Mar 17, 2019, 10:49 AM

Ended up doing some yoga and taking a walk, feeling more awake now

Findingreason · Mar 17, 2019, 11:06 AM

Hey everyone. how are things going today?

I'm okay. I've been stressed a lot recently. Replacing my IDs and passport and residence permit has been a nightmare of epic proportions. Got the residence permit ordered, next is the ID, then the passport. So I am just holding out for the next couple months for that. Had almost one full day of continuous panic attack as a result. I started hearing voices later in the day as a result. I called my therapist and saw her on Friday to try and work through the difficulties.

Now I'm managing a bit better. Getting over being sick though. Caught something last week. Can't wait for things to be back on an even pace.

What's everyone up to?

newtus · Mar 17, 2019, 11:07 AM

I know yall dont wanna hear this

And i didnt ask her, but i think my mom is gonna come through today. Mainly because i need the supplements my sister gave her for me for my depression and energy. Im hoping they help.