Roll Call 153

Yeah I think I'm going to get a pass from the library to a local science museum I've never been to

Is it visible now?

Yep can see them now, perfect!

That’s awesome can’t wait to see it 😀

That’s a good plan 😀

So the bf needs a new toilet flapper so he had the lid off and his moisturizer fell in, then he wiped it on my bath towel....I was like eeeew and got a new towel. Technically I know the water in the back is clean but it’s still a toilet lol

Not going to the arts fest. I dont have any money.

But started the day off good, food wise.

Fiance cooked 2 scrambled eggs for me. And had 2 toast, no butter, and half a cup of coffee. Proud of myself.

Had half a bag of stir fry yesterday, that's all. Mostly veggies in it. Some chicken.

Not drinking as much either. I havent drank a lot in like months. Since april. I only drank hard in april. Like a lot of alcohol.

Nowadays I only have a shot of liquor and 1 beer. And that's usually on my days off. So the weekend. And it's only after 5 or 6pm. Really proud of myself.

That's exactly what I had for breakfast, wheat toast w/o butter and 2 scrambled eggs, some black coffee.

You're doing great!

Thanks so much bb!!! I really needed to hear that from someone.

You are doing great too! I still revel in your positivity everyday.

I'm in really bad shape right now...

Talk to me. I had just woken up when u messaged me. What's going on?

Thank you, I appreciate that

I am super depressed right now. All my normal coping mechanisms are gone right now because I'm not stable enough to do them. I can't really go into detail on here...I'll message you privately.

So sorry thought you were doing ok ...

Yes I thought u were doing ok too. I did not know, fr. Please keep sight of the future and all the amazing things u will accomplish.

I'm the same that I live in the moment and not the past but some memories came flooding back of all the lies my step dad did to me and I just get built up with hate.

I can't forgive him because he hasn't changed. He got beat up by a guy for screwing that guys wife recently.

I tried to wake up at 8am but I woke up at 12pm. I couldn't do it. And I couldn't fall asleep until like 2am when I went to bed at 11am.

Swept and mopped my kitchen floor. Tomorrow I'll be vacuuming.

Making a vermicelli rice mix for dinner later

I need to clean the house too.

I got groceries with a gift card and some flowers for fall.

Fall flowers I bought

Sleep is literally the cousin of death

Brewing some decaf coffee so I can relax with a warm drink and read

Bluebird I’m reading atomic habits and thought of you....they are talking about habit formation and I’m thinking of trying it to start walking outside more. Basically it’s a two minute rule. You do the thing you want to form a habit for for two minutes like going outside. That’s the hardest part so once you’re used to going outside for two minutes all you have to do is push a tiny bit to continue walking or whatever. It’s just the first two minutes that are hardest. It just really reminded me of how my anxiety and lack of motivation works. Also it’s a great book if you ever come across it.