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  #476  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 02:34 PM
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Should I make a blog post?
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  #477  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 02:37 PM
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I'm scared to ask
Ask them....they either will or will not have one available
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  #478  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 02:45 PM
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That person took a real jab at my self esteem when I have high self esteem in the first place. So I'll recover easily but wow. None of what he said was true.
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  #479  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 02:52 PM
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@Desoxyn don't let that person get to you. People say all kinds of nonsense and trash and it doesn't make it true. Don't let that person have power over you by making you feel bad about yourself. We love you here on PC just as you are. Kit
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  #480  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 03:41 PM
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That person took a real jab at my self esteem when I have high self esteem in the first place. So I'll recover easily but wow. None of what he said was true.
It was like his nightmare projection. Don't feel bad about it, he doesn't know you at all.
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  #481  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:00 PM
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Just went and paid for that desk. 125! It looks like its regularly 600 or 700 new. Used tho. Will take pics when we put it in the new place. It's a 3 peice L-shaped office desk with a hutch. Real wood.

May get a coffee table from there, too,but fiance said we need to wait.
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  #482  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:13 PM
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Called my mom. She didn't seem happy that I bought a desk. She says I cant afford it.

I dont even know anymore.

She gets mad when I dont use my money and use her money, but she gets mad if I use my money.
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  #483  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:23 PM
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Idk why I'm sad.
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  #484  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:44 PM
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I've had little bouts of depression for the past few days.
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  #485  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:47 PM
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I've had little bouts of depression for the past few days.
Stress of moving maybe? Even if you are excited and looking forward to it, it is still a change and a pretty big one at that. Kit
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  #486  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:48 PM
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Idk why I'm sad.
Maybe because you were excited about the desk and then you talked to your Mom and she wasn't happy about it and then it deflated your happiness? Just a thought.
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  #487  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:50 PM
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Stress of moving maybe? Even if you are excited and looking forward to it, it is still a change and a pretty big one at that. Kit
Idk. Sometimes idk what the fck I'm even doing anymore. I just want to hide.

My body feel physically weak. I'm just depressed and lethargic feeling.
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  #488  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:50 PM
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Maybe because you were excited about the desk and then you talked to your Mom and she wasn't happy about it and then it deflated your happiness? Just a thought.
That and the apt not being upgraded.

But idk cuz I've had bouts of depression for a few days now.
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  #489  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:54 PM
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Well I hope you feel better soon @newtus It's not easy feeling depressed. And that might be leading to some of the lethargy and feeling physically weak because depression does have a lot of physical symptoms. Maybe take a little nap, or do something nice for yourself. Put on your favorite song and let it carry your cares away for a few minutes. Lots of safe Hugs Kit
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  #490  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 04:55 PM
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Idk why I'm sad.
There must be reasons that you know. Things aren't perfect for everyone and it's ok to feel sad. You have a lot to say all the time and you're a good person. Think of everything as a problem that has to be solved. Eventually things will be better and you'll learn and find a way to be happy by ditching old habits and forming new ones.

Or it's just a mood problem with your brain chemistry but that can always be changed.

There's a lot of things happening in your life with your mom, moving, job, fiance, mental illness. I read that post you've made and you've come a long way. It reminded me of those dark days that I've had with psychosis and depression. I remember just walking to school with my earbuds in and every time I listen to those songs, it reminds me of those cold dark winters where nothing really made sense and it still doesn't make sense but I'm still pushing forward.

I'm in a better place now except for all of the overthinking and judgements from people. But I like being a little mental.. You probably already know that. Everyone is crazy in some way and I've felt completely mentally stable to the point where I had no challenges and nothing to move towards. You always have to keep moving. It can feel like crap with everything always being a problem but that's what makes us human. It's a circle of the bad and good. I don't believe there's such thing as heaven or hell because you need to see hell to appreciate heaven and a bit of heaven to give hope to get through hell. All the good memories you've had and the hope for the future is what keeps people going. The unknown is what makes life worth living. Bad things are seductive and cool and everything is perfect.
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  #491  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:02 PM
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There must be reasons that you know. Things aren't perfect for everyone and it's ok to feel sad. You have a lot to say all the time and you're a good person. Think of everything as a problem that has to be solved. Eventually things will be better and you'll learn and find a way to be happy by ditching old habits and forming new ones.


Or it's just a mood problem with your brain chemistry but that can always be changed.


There's a lot of things happening in your life with your mom, moving, job, fiance, mental illness. I read that post you've made and you've come a long way. It reminded me of those dark days that I've had with psychosis and depression. I remember just walking to school with my earbuds in and every time I listen to those songs, it reminds me of those cold dark winters where nothing really made sense and it still doesn't make sense but I'm still pushing forward.


I'm in a better place now except for all of the overthinking and judgements from people. But I like being a little mental.. You probably already know that. Everyone is crazy in some way and I've felt completely mentally stable to the point where I had no challenges and nothing to move towards. You always have to keep moving. It can feel like crap with everything always being a problem but that's what makes us human. It's a circle of the bad and good. I don't believe there's such thing as heaven or hell because you need to see hell to appreciate heaven and a bit of heaven to give hope to get through hell. All the good memories you've had and the hope for the future is what keeps people going. The unknown is what makes life worth living. Bad things are seductive and cool and everything is perfect.
Thank you so much for this. To know you read the article of my story means so much to me, so thank you.

I'm not sure why I'm depressed. I shouldn't be considering everything. Fiance and I are spending a lot of time together right now, the sex is getting better and better (those two things I wanted to improve and they are), my job is great, I'm moving to a place double the size of this one, I'm making strides in my career...etc other smaller things... idk why I'm sad.

Logically, I shouldn't be sad. *sigh*

I literally feel like something I loved just died, like my cat or something. That's how sad I'm feeling.

This comes from a place im not sure of.
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  #492  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:06 PM
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Thank you so much for this. To know you read the article of my story means so much to me, so thank you.

I'm not sure why I'm depressed. I shouldn't be considering everything. Fiance and I are spending a lot of time together right now, the sex is getting better and better (those two things I wanted to improve and they are), my job is great, I'm moving to a place double the size of this one, I'm making strides in my career...etc other smaller things... idk why I'm sad.

Logically, I shouldn't be sad. *sigh*

I literally feel like something I loved just died, like my cat or something. That's how sad I'm feeling.

This comes from a place im not sure of.

Do you think it’s because you have all these things and it’s not what you expected it to be?
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  #493  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:21 PM
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Because I was awake for 40 hours, I had to sleep in. I said I would go for a hike with my moms friend. She's the one with severe bipolar and we share so much in common so we help each other out. I should have went.

I'm waiting for my mom and sister to get home because I'm alone in the house.
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  #494  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:31 PM
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Do you think it’s because you have all these things and it’s not what you expected it to be?
No. I mean everything is as I expected, plus more. Like for one, I didnt think at all my story was gonna be accepted by the Mighty. Cuz it states on their submit a story page that they get a lot of submissions and cant look at all of them, plus it said that if it's too long, or whatever else that they cant post it, it would just go into the thought box. If a story is sent to the thought box it is posted, but only on the Mighty, and only on your profile for everyone to see.

I went in that and I go into other things expecting full well that it may not work. It helps that I dont have the best self esteem, so I am already expecting nothing to come of anything.

And the Google book partner was the same way. Even worse tho. It said on their page you can put in application to get an invitation, but that they werent accepting many people right now.

Etc everything else.

The apt. Well, yes sucks it isnt upgraded, but that's the least of my worries. Idk. Maybe it is what has me down just a bit.

I dont understand. I just dont understand. I have to be the luckiest person in the world. This past 2 years nearly everything seems to just come to me without much trying. Idk why god chose me for this life. What did I do so right that I have all these opportunities coming to me?

I also wonder since most everything I've been doing might have been in mania, so maybe I'm hitting the depression side. Cuz I been going and going for days now, if not 3 weeks or this whole month.
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  #495  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:33 PM
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My stomach is upset this afternoon. I have to keep going to the bathroom. I used to have this problem all the time and then I haven't had it in a while and now today it has come back. I haven't eaten anything weird. I don't know what causes it. I wish it would feel better. At least I am off of work in an hour. I can go home and change into comfy pants (I'm already wearing a ridiculously comfortable sweater that I absolutely love because it is so stinking soft and it is black with grey and white flecks and I love black--black and pink are my favorite colors). I'm just drinking Tea and waiting for it to be time to go home.
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  #496  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:34 PM
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I say the past 2 years, but I'm lying. I've actually seemed to have everything just handed to me my whole life. Whether it's from my parents or fate or luck.
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  #497  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:35 PM
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No. I mean everything is as I expected, plus more. Like for one, I didnt think at all my story was gonna be accepted by the Mighty. Cuz it states on their submit a story page that they get a lot of submissions and cant look at all of them, plus it said that if it's too long, or whatever else that they cant post it, it would just go into the thought box. If a story is sent to the thought box it is posted, but only on the Mighty, and only on your profile for everyone to see.

I went in that and I go into other things expecting full well that it may not work. It helps that I dont have the best self esteem, so I am already expecting nothing to come of anything.

And the Google book partner was the same way. Even worse tho. It said on their page you can put in application to get an invitation, but that they were accepting many people right now.

Etc everything else.

The apt. Well, yes sucks it isnt upgraded, but that's the least of my worries. Idk. Maybe it is what has me down just a bit.

I dont understand. I just dont understand. I have to be the luckiest person in the world. This past 2 years nearly everything seems to just come to me without much trying. Idk why god chose me for this life. What did I do so right that I have all these opportunities coming to me?

I also wonder since most everything I've been doing might have been in mania, so maybe I'm hitting the depression side. Cuz I been going and going for days now, if not 3 weeks or this whole month.
It could be you're feeling less high because you stopped the thyroid meds...they kind of produce an artificial manic state but there are side effects as well.
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  #498  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:37 PM
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It could be you're feeling less high because you stopped the thyroid meds...they kind of produce an artificial manic state but there are side effects as well.
I thought about that too. And my hands are shaking even tho I havent taken it. And this has been going on for a few days, and that's when I stopped them was 3 days ago.
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  #499  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:37 PM
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I say the past 2 years, but I'm lying. I've actually seemed to have everything just handed to me my whole life. Whether it's from my parents or fate or luck.
I think a lot of it is your personality...even when things were at their worst you had a lot going for you.
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  #500  
Old Oct 25, 2019, 05:38 PM
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I thought about that too. And my hands are shaking even tho I havent taken it. And this has been going on for a few days, and that's when I stopped them was 3 days ago.
If it’s the AP causing hand shaking they can give you another med like propranolol to temporarily stop the shaking.
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