Roll Call 155

What are your long terms goals when you finish school bluebird? A lot of that feeling goes away hen you’re contributing to society regularly...maybe you could volunteer somewhere?

Hey morning

Yesterday was AMAZING!!! The furniture store was beyond the most amazing place I've ever been. It was much better than ikea. Apparently they only have like 6 of these stores in the usa. So glad one is here.

And then we went to Rooms To Go after...this indian employee tried to swindle us out of our money. We saw a whole living room set for 1800. He checked both our credit and said we are only approved for 1500. I should've known something was wrong then because when we got the mattress we were approved for like 4200. Credit I mean. But then somehow the price of the set went up to 2400. He said they would need 900 upfront. We walked out of there immediately. It was super weird too because he was turning the computer away from us when he was typing. And then fiance went to go have a cig and the guy was like telling me I need to stay in the store. And then when we called the finance part of the store on the phone he had it on speaker but was lower his ear to the phone so only he could hear them. I was beyond pissed when I left cuz he already hit my credit doing a check. Shoulda left much earlier.

And the Halloween party....yea...um I was so fckin nervous...people kept asking me if I was ok. I didnt feel comfortable. People just kept staring at me cuz I was staring into space cuz I was uncomfortable. I just wanted to go home. I couldn't get on my phone cuz it was at 3 percent all night and I was an hour away from home.

I'm looking into volunteering, I've done it on and off and enjoyed it

That happens to me when I was dissociating. It's the most horrible feeling. Need supportive people around you.

Everyone accepts me because they're all crazy and especially my moms friend with bipolar and probably BPD. She's the life of everything but once she has two drinks, she's saying "Woooo omg the cats I love them I love everyone... Everyone hates me I hate all of you! No I love you guys" then starts crying and then laughing..

My mom takes care of me in psychosis and takes my drugs away =P

I might do volunteering when I get a part time job and maybe go to school part time. I'll be using my free time researching things on the internet to find a way to make money like investing etc.. There's many things to do in this skiiing/hiking town.

I'm ready for it to be friday. Plus I'm bored today. Fiance already gave me his part of the first months rent. I put it in savings.

I'm always bored on sundays.

I think for other things we need in the house, I will just do cyber monday deals. I'm not doing black friday deals cuz you have to be in person to do that, and that's way too much commotion for me.

We've got the sofa, big chair, and Dustin's desk. We need a futon and other smaller furniture items, plus a kitchen table. Will get the kitchen table at the resale store. Everything else I'll wait til cyber Monday.

Oh dang. I need to write down what all we need, cuz we actually need more, like the coffee table. Will get that at the resale shop too.

Just got up from a nap, I'm feeling good.

massive mood swing and im suddenly depressed, great.

Wow very nice! Fall is my favorite season!

Do you guys get the fall color change?

Fall is only now changing colors here. It looks beautiful. But I sometimes feel paralyzed knowing winter will be soon. If I start losing weight it will be wonderful. They only weigh us once a month. And I'm doing well with avoiding too much sugar.

We don't really have fall in Houston. I kind of miss seeing the leaves change colors. But I don't miss winter.

A little bit. You notice it more out here in the country area.

Theres a little highway in the countryside, it goes all the way to dallas. A hidden gem. Its hilly and there are colors there that I havent seen elsewhere except in the hill country of san Antonio.

My chest hurts right in the middle. Idk if I'm having a heart attack or its acid reflux. It came on after I ate. Could also be pain from sitting all day on the couch. Cuz I had been having to crack my chest a few times the past few hours.

I ate stir fry btw.

Kindve upset. I been cleaning and packing all day and fiance got home 10 min ago and is already playing video games.

Maybe I shouldn't be upset. He had to work all day. I'm just really stressed out. The dog is chewing up shyt in between me packing things and doesnt listen. It stress me the **** out.

Plus fiance has not packed a single a thing. Not only of his stuff, but I did ALL the packing. That's what pisses me off.

Ima look at more furniture. That should calm me down.

The first thing I thought, when I saw the sign attached to the scarecrow was "Free"

There's a woman here who looks exactly like that scarecrow. And her teeth are way more scary.

I have a family session with my therapist tomorrow, my grandpa, grandma, and mom are gonna be there.

There was no smoking at 7 here tonight. It's been raining all day. Apparently I used up my Lemonade disposable because I had to open a new one last night. It's supposed to be pineapple but it tastes like a weird coconut instead.

My mouth/throat still hurts like hell. I wonder if they will ever try to look at it or try to heal it.

I may as well get ready for bed because I want to use the disposable now.