Roll Call 155

Glad to hear it! Kit

That sucks. I don't always feel like eating so it's a bad feature for me.

I fell asleep early and still slept until noon, ugh.

Same here, I've been in like a sleep coma the past several days

The bone fragments are NOTHING compared to burnt flesh he lasered off my gum. It smelled like pure DEATH.

Just finished my interview! It was amazing!!! He will post it on youtube in a few days! And hes so nice!

I'm just gonna tell my mom to stay home.

WORST PART IS, I didnt just smell it, I tasted it!!! I think its akin to eating grilled human flesh. It pretty much is, since he burned it off. Ugh I honestly almost threw up on him. Seriously.

No Star Trek Voyager today.

Sorry to hear. That sucks! Bad day, huh?

I had a good day. Literally fit in my 6 or 7 things to do on a time crunch.

Not too much. I was braced after yesterday for a bad day but it was ok. Hopefully Voyager will be back on in a week. They're playing horror movies all week for Halloween.

Yes fiance is watching all the michael myers movies back to back right now on AMC.

I have so much energy brewing in me everyday this past month. For 3 or 4 nights this past two weeks I've been unable to sleep. But I havent been doing anything like manic. I just am taking care of everything I need to. I havent been shopping online or in store. I think I may be talking fast a bit. I'm not being aggressive or angered easily. None of that. Just getting everything I need done.

But at what point is it mania or just living a healthy normal life? I hate symptomizing everything about myself.

I think part of it is excitement to move into a townhome. Usually when I'm excited about something I do so much for it. And everything else i have to do not related to my excitement, I put more energy towards. Cuz I feel like "I have to do this, I don't want to, but oh well, cuz I'm moving into a bigger place soon!!!"

Those nights I havent been able to sleep i spend hours looking at furniture. But I'm not buying anything! I'm just excited to move. I loooove "window shopping" aka just looking.

It definitely sounds like excitement @newtus doesn't sound like mania to me. HUGS Kit

My bank texted me cuz I went on an altcoin spending rampage. I don't have much money yet - It was a few fractions of coins for 50 dollars each but I just felt like doing that instead of researching first and instead researching later. Shouldn't have done it cuz now they'll know if I ever want to be sneaky.

I'm just feeling really stressed about what those people said to me. I'm pissed.

I need to balance my ego and soul. I have a big ego at the moment and then I go all soul like.

I want to find a genius way to get off of disability but the negative symptoms are holding me back. Doing things for comfort instead of focusing. Cuz I can't focus.

I was never able to focus. I've gone completely mad.

I think the positive attitude and energy I've been giving off past month is what has more people coming into my life. Seriously. I am a total believer in positive attitudes and energy in order to gain positive things.

I've made new friends and a friend who wants me to be in their group of girlfriends who go out and do things.

I've taken risks like asking my job about being a mental health writer for the company. Plus other risks.

I'm very slowly being able to separate from my mom, just by being busy and not being able to call her much.

Etc I have like 10 others things I could say that has changed.

I tried to spell something easy on the phone and I could barely do it. But I can write it out no problem.

I'm like literally 50x better at writing than I am at talking.

I am pessimistic nihilistic misanthrope.

But I can't help but see the positivities.

I used to be exactly that. Somehow after psychosis I completely changed.

I went to a restaurant tonight to get pizza. I had a drink and pizza and got super anxious. I couldn’t maintain eye contact which happens to me a lot. I felt light headed and a bit shaken.

Then I felt even worse. I had to hide in the washroom for a little bit.

I felt better when I got home. No anxiety any more.

Something I should talk to my doctor about next week. I feel my anxiety has been getting worse.

Hey everyone,
I'm alive. Been watching Black List lately and enoying it. I reached out to a friend who kinda back stabbed me in the worst way possible, but asked him how he is doing anyways because we've been friends for 10 years. Not too long ago he gave me a ppositive message. I'm reaching out to sort these things out that has come between us. He is a great guy to be honest. I went to his wedding. Part of the problem was that I tend to close up due to this illness, and he reacted to that in a negative way so he talked crap about me behind my back. So I wanted to clear some things up. It's been 2 hours and no response. He either deleted me/blocked me from seeing it or deleted his entire profile. He's deleted his profile before but I don't know these things.

I think this is the end of our friendship.

Its rainy steadily out right now, I'm washing the dishes and packing them, fiance is watching rob zombies version of halloween. We are talking and laughing, it's dark out, and life is amazing right now. I've always dreamt of this. Raining on busy night in our household, me and my spouse getting along together wonderfully during a holiday, and I have a good job, and things are just going up and up for us.

I've said a lot on here, about everything.

But I seriously feel like I'm living the dream.

Dont get me wrong, there are bad things in my life too, but too many good things are going on that the bad stuff just doesnt matter.