Roll Call 158!

This is stuff that an aspie does. I'm saddened that the autism forum doesn't have a roll call or anything.. Just people talking about their symptoms.. They could be really cool with what they do...

The autistic savant guy said to not take "Learning 50 different skills" when he was my age literally but I did..

I cant sleep.

I dont drink that much anymore. Idk why. Fiance brought home beer and I had 1. When I have liquor I just have a shot or 2 every few days.

Morning

4 more days til Christmas, not including today.

I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought 0 junk food for the first time since living on my own. Very proud of myself. My pss yesterday gave me a bunch of pastries tho.

Vraylar puts weight on. Which I'm nervous about. I already put 2 pounds back on despite not eating much. And I feel super nauseous cuz the med right now. Blegh. Ugh.

And I got a migraine. This sucks.

Throwing up. Ugh. It's this vraylar.

Morning, still feeling good

That's awesome about the grocery shopping. I always find I eat much healthier if I simply don't buy the junk food in the first place because I'm typically not inclined to go out to eat fast food or buy junk food anyway if it's already not in the house. Makes things much easier.

Sorry about the vraylar, I wouldn't worry too much about 2lbs though, weight fluctuates by a couple pounds every day usually depending on different things. Hope the nausea and migraine get better though

Weight usually fluctuates around 5-10lbs per day so it’s not something to stress about. Depends on bowel movements and water retention. Best to weigh yourself once a week at the maximum to know about weight changes.

I know, I'm just scared I'll gain the 10 pounds I lost. Cuz my weight wasnt fluctuating at all past week because I barely been eating due to time constraints. Now it's up 2 pounds.it took me like 3 months to lose 10, and a month to keep it at 10.

Not happy with myself right now.

Is everyone ready for Christmas?

Haven’t made perogies yet but otherwise yes. We don’t buy presents for each other anymore so I got nothing to buy. We buy a house present though. This year we bought an instapot that was on sale. And our usual bottle of good tequila.

Oh gotta go get fresh fish for Christmas Eve though. We’re having sushi. I’m not religious but my mom was raised catholic so for Christmas Eve and Ukrainian Christmas Eve we don’t eat meat at all. It just feels wrong the idea of eating meat on those days.

For fcks sake! My my mom has the worst attitude! I only called her for 5 to 10 min and I asked my mom what she got fiance for Christmas and she said money and a gift card. I said "for how much and where?" And she got an immediate attitude and yelled at me. And then I got angry cuz she yelled at me asking why I need to know that. I'm like "for fcks sake I'm just wondering wtf u got him for Christmas! Now you've got me upset." And shes like "then maybe u need to hang up". I said "wtf man. I will and it's not my fault." Stupid mthrfcker omg.

I'm not calling my mom a MF. I said "MF" because the situation was just out of nowhere.

I love my mom, but shes bat crazy sometimes.

Ugh. Nauseous still a bit. Could be cuz I havent eaten yet tho. I'm gonna make dinner right now.

Ate dinner and seem to feel fine now.

Made vegetable stir fry and chicken flavored fried rice.

I was thinking about talking to that friend and it made me think back about things to disprove his hollow earth theory. I would have said things like earth is tilted.. spinning every 24 hours.. poles are wobbling.. magnetic poles are changing cuz it's cooling down slowly in the middle.. it's going a round the sun.. closer or farther away idk.. all i know is that it's closer in the summer and further away in the winter... the sun is travelling through the galaxy.. closer or further away to the centre idk... the galaxy is travelling to crash into another galaxy.. both going towards a great attractor.. universe is expanding.. universe possibly colliding with another universe... which could be black hole in galaxy of another universe.. which could be inside the brain of a penguin.. idk.. and inside stars, supernova happens after the pulsation of stars stops and more matter is obtained, they implode and create heavier atoms then bounce back and explode, all the matter fuses together in cold fusion to make meteors and then that creates planets.. hydrogen was the main thing as the universe after the big bang was all gas.. and hollow earth theory disproves the big bang..

Then I thought about colour particles.. red, yellow and blue ones.. making quarks etc.. and those could maybe be broken down who knows.. everything is made of colours and it was a very trippy conversation cuz we both tripped and were gonna trip together with 2 other friends.. And hallucinations? What about the particles in your brain that make the colours for hallucinations? What about schizophrenia and dreams and alcohol DT, psychedelics, all those things I've been interested in.. Then I find things about the optical nerve and the eye..

Then I stumbled upon the theory of everything which I've been ignoring for a while..

And all of that will keep me entertained for a while..

I've reflected all day with my pen and I can't think of one short story idea that grips my mind...

Take a break and however long the break takes, you'll find the story. Remember you are iNfJ.. Intuitive.. You think kinda trippy but the J keeps you occupied on your goals.. so when I mean take a break, you must ignore/sever connection with your priorities in a form of intentional delusion, then switch back once you find inspiration.

Writers block? Do something to get some inspiration. Like uh going for a walk, taking a nap (my mind tends to give ideas in my dreams from the subconscious mind), also I find that relaxing a little and writing random **** down helps too.

I think I'll talk to my doctor about coming off all these meds at my next appointment

Are you sure? You seem to be doing well right now. Maybe the meds are helping?

While I understand the sentiment, you were feeling psychotic not too long ago if I remember correctly so you probably need an atypical AP at minimum....we all wish we were off meds but if you have a full psychosis it can do things like take away reading ability etc. something like 80% of people relapse after AP withdrawal so the odds aren’t good.

I'm curious to see how I'd do without them. I mean,if I could do fine without them that would be great but I'll never know while I'm on them. My doctor always says it's the meds that are the reason I'm doing well, but what if I'm the reason I'm doing well and the meds have nothing to do with it

I came off APs for a year and did well until things got bad again. In that year though I dropped 100lbs. Idk. It's just a thought , I'm not sure If im right or not