Roll Call 160!

I actually ended up getting a good night of rest. Doing some laundry now. Then back to my old place to do a couple things then back here again.

I think I have a cold too...had to cancel the bf coming over....

Sorry to hear

Sooo bloated. It came on after I had 2 sips of coffee.

I made my short story more consistent, used some Plato and some quotes from the Bible for a sprinkle of interest, at least for me. I have no idea what kind of audience I'm writing for. Philosophers and the religious? Bot of my short stories now have these elements. I can't wait until I can make a short story collection into a single book.

My sister said my story telling has gotten much better, yet she didn't finish the story, and that first story was just 36 pages. I'm going to ask my editor if he has any idea about what aspects in my writing should I improve upon, and how to reach a wider audience.

My friend, who is a creative writing major said I haven't sold many stories because I haven't even tried advertising, but paying to sell makes me hesitant. I am glad I didn't advertise my long story, because I made too many mistakes. Ultimately that long story was, if anything is certain, then it was a learning experience where I learned my strengths, how to format, edit, and publish. So I am glad I finished it, even if it wasn't a success.

I published my long story in may I believe, but it wasn't polished, and complete until September.

Doing a second load of laundry

BB, your apartment looks very nice!

Slept way in this morning but it's Saturday so that's okay. My sister came over yesterday and we went out to dinner; I had a good time. No plans today other than getting to the grocery store and doing a few chores. It's a beautiful day so I hope I can get out in it for awhile.

Here’s some pics

The big empty room is a storage room

Sorry I think the pics uploaded upside down

What a great apartment 😀

Hey everyone...long time no see.

It’s been a ride lately. Short version of the situation is I wound up against my will in the psych ward last week while manic, and getting psychotic. They decided to put me on clozapine after me fighting with them over it for a year. I thought they were trying to poison and kill me. Everyone, including those closest to me.

It turned out to be exactly what I needed....I am seeing things in clarity like never before. I began to realize maybe my baseline has been mild psychosis for at least the last few years. But now, things are changing. The nurse confirmed I have been dealing with psychosis for some time now. This is so hard. But I feel like clozapine is my ticket to freedom. My ticket back to a normal functional life. I hope that things improve more from here....

Omg ordered Chinese...orange chicken and beef and broccoli with fried rice.....so good

That's awesome!

I ****ing hate winter

Went to a community meal with my friend. Now at the new apt. relaxing, it's been another long day. My sister is bringing by my money tomorrow so I can buy new clothes and stuff for the apartment. Also, my foodstamps come in tomorrow

I don't know what to do.. I'm sitting here comfortable with my laptop and phone with pillows.

I scraped ice off the sidewalks but it just keeps snowing and melting on the sidewalk and turning into ice. It pissed me off. But I did the dishes for my mom because she's at work and I cleaned the litter box.

I took 5mg olanzepine, 60mg CBD, 50mg atenolol, 0.5mg Xanax and 10mg melatonin to sleep. No heart palpitations. Then 50mg Vyvanse, vitamin D and 50mg atenolol to wake up and then took 750mg phenibut but I think I'm tolerant to 850mg phenibut so I took an extra 500mg.

Tomorrow I'll take 850mg phenibut then slowly taper. I failed a few times because I needed to be social. And when I'm social on it, I'm reallly social and everyone loves me instead of me being apathetic and moody.

I love orange chicken, especially with red pepper flakes on it, sweet and spicy is the perfect combo 😃

I’ve gotta get off this Thorazine. I’m so tired constantly, dry mouth, and pouring sweat just from walking 15 or so minutes

When do you see your doc again?

Not until mid March

Cleaned and vacuumed my room. I'm gonna watch Netflix.

She did say I can lower it to 200 if I ever needed to so I’m going to start with that tonight. Then I guess if things don’t improve when I see my therapist in a week or so I’ll ask about getting off it completely (they work in the same office)

Sounds like a good plan