Roll Call 166!

Find a way to do stuff that doesn’t cost money....you can show your love without making your finances worse.

Yea I get that. I never grew up having to worry about money. Even living with my dad the past 10 years. I obviously can’t do shyt right. It’s very obvious.

It’s not that you can’t do stuff right, you just don’t have a certain type of knowledge of being poor.

Yea I’m sure.

I already didn’t like how much he sold it for. 200 dollar desk for 60. We’ve only had it since November. Gaming desk. And chair! For which we are still paying on. I told him to go up in price and he’s like “I already told him 60...”

He never listens to me. Never about anything. Not this, not the mask/COVID situation. not about school, work, spending time with me. He doesn’t listen to me at all. He wants to do what he wants to do in life. And then he has the nerve the complain about things or say I’m nagging about spending time together, when I’m at my breaking point of loneliness. I’m closer to my fckin dad at this point for god sakes. I tried to get him to take care of school for 4 or 5 months now. “I’ll do it tomorrow I promise”. Etc etc. me: can we be intimate? “Tomorrow”. Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. Put this shyt off. Put me off.

Fck around and I’ll get up and leave.

Sorry...

Just be careful, if you’re hypomanic you could do something you seriously regret. I know how much you love him.

True. I took my meds just now so maybe I’ll sleep soon. My anger is intensified because of the hypomania. But this has been building up for weeks if not mknths.

Only you can decide, but make sure you’re in a good state of mind when you do.

That's probably why you can't sleep then, withdrawal stuff, good luck!

Did my goal of doing yoga for an hour 3 times a week this week, yay! It feels so good. I bought discord nitro as a gift to myself. Have so much fun sending my discord friends weird emotes, they’re like “wtf max”, haha 😂

Can you buy ejuice easily around there? Like at gas stations? Or 7/11s? I'm wondering when the lockdowns come back, maybe in September or October how long it will last again.

Yeah it seems like it will last for a while here too. How are you Angelique?

People are still rioting right now in downtown same area. Last night I was sure there was guns going off

Moved to 12mg daily of Fanapt today, which is supposed to be my target dose

Nope, and I don't think they have the patch here either. I used the gum one year in Chicago for a few days. It didn't really work for me. To stop me from smoking. Nothing worked except vaping. I hate that I missed the whole spring here. When are they going to open here already.

I hope you got some juice since then.

Kind of. I took half the original dose for two days then stopped it completely. I haven’t talked to my doctor about it. I’m trying to lose weight.

BB stopping meds without a doctor overseeing is a really really bad idea. Just look at the stats of psychotic relapse after med discontinuation, stay afe.

I think it will be okay, I appreciate the concern though. The 400mg of Thorazine was just for sleep, it’s the Trilafon that’s my main one for psychosis.

I guess I'm okay. I am so sick of this lockdown. I've been confined to my bed for over 2 months now. Just my third of the room. Feel like I'm coming unglued. And I've developed some weird skin issues too. Are you okay?

400mg is a pretty potent antipsychotic dose though. For example, for sedation before surgery they usually give you 25mg

I’ll probably end up back on it tonight. It’s been 56 hours without sleep and I’m not even slightly tired

I’m good, yeah the lockdown sucks. Must be worse for you that you’re in that place that isn’t nice to begin with

I hope you can sleep

That might of been why I was nauseous all day and throwing up yesterday , from stopping it suddenly.

Yup that’s it