Roll Call 166!

That's what facebook does! The algorithms promote further radicalization because that's what gets people to click! The more clicks the more advertisers come and pay. Facebook helped Trump get elected, and it helps white supremacy.

Random rant...

Just because you "earn" a car your parents BOUGHT for you doesn't mean you "worked" for your ****. Stop acting like you're better than someone because they don't make as much or is as privilege enough to never went without. **** people

Yeah Facebook is pretty trash. If I didn’t have friends and relatives on there I would probably just delete my Facebook.

Preach it!!!

People aren't going to take it... The black people and other minorities... the poor... lgbt... women, and the mentally ill, disenfranchised are being bullied by police. I'm lucky I look "normal" so to say. Black people can't change their skin color and shouldn't have to because it's beautiful. All race of people... are beautiful. all cultures and race has their beauty. I have family member who say otherwise. They're the true racist. My grandmothers dad killed a black kid and got away with it because of thee time. I've come from a really ****ed up family. I'm no interest to continue the line of beliefs my parents and grandparents have had for minorities.

If I didn't have my mom, my schizophrenia would have progressed to severe and chronic constant misery I think.

And I'd be dealing with police that wouldn't be nice to me because I can't advocate for myself and they aren't really that educated on mental illness.

It's getting better though.. I think mental health awareness is gonna get 2-3x better in the next 5 years just based on past predictions.

The world is getting better.. I think the next revolution would put all the previous ones in perspective.. Although I feel a bit scared about it and don't want it to be too severe.

When overdosed on psilocybin and had like 20 different research chemicals in my pocket, the nurses were opening them at the nursing station saying "Where did you get this hydromorphone? etc" and I was laughing and laughing and then started crying.. I felt really bad for having so many schedule 1 chemicals..

One cop was very empathetic and so calm with me. She really calmed me down and didn't charge me for all the chemicals that I had. I was sent to the psych ward the morning after.. My mom wiped the tears from my eyes and then I fell asleep. She stayed with me all night in the hospital room.

I saw the cop again last week because she arrived to help clean out the meth room that my moms renter turned into a crack ***** house and I remembered her face. I just had a feeling. I didn't remember any of what has happened.

I remember being horribly horribly depressed when I was 16.. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks and they took care of me. I didn't understand and because of the lack of mental health awareness, the cops and nurses didn't understand either.. They just wanted me to be safe and to not kill myself. They brought me food and my mom visited every day after work. I went on my computer with a USB wifi stick and read some books - Including the OCD one by howie mandel, "Don't look me in the eyes" and watched the movie "Beautiful mind" - Hearing voices when they were at the worst.

I would like a day where there's all good cops like the ones I've dealt with. I should have had a criminal record - But I don't. It's amazing. And all the people that do are screwed. It's sad. I feel sorry for the prostitutes and the kids living in that house.

I want to cure addiction at least - For people to only do hippie drugs - Take meth as prescribed for narcolepsy. Idk how people get addicted and don't just stop.. But all the communities that are poor, they want to escape from pain - They think a stimulant will lift them up or people addicted to opioids move to because of Big Pharma.

I want to take down Big Pharma. I have my little save the world ambitions like everyone else and the convictions etc.. I don't think cops target black men as bad in Canada as they do in the US - It has to do with something really deep - The government.. and I think more black men have schizophrenia than any other race.. Or latino.. idk.. But imagine not being on meds and the cops don't understand, are racist and want to oppress?

But yeah.. the world is in pain and I'm doing mentally well right now, grateful that I still have at least 70% of the cognition I had and not 30% or something..

I’m going to make panzanella here at the bfs place.....generally I don’t like cooking out here but I wanted some veg. It’s going to be made from garlic bread with some pesto and vinaigrette along with the veg and cheese balls. Tasty!

Watching live feed and there it looked peaceful and then suddenly cops intervene and it went to hell.

Hearing voices.

Delusional and paranoid today

cant wait for the fanapt to kick in

I've been having issues with going on myself (peeing and pooping)... My guess was because of the laxatives and metformin... now that I don't take the laxative it's the metformin. I then have issues of suddenly having to pee and well I end up wet myself before I can make it upstairs and pee.

I slept all day. I want to get up early because it's June 1, and maybe they are finally going to let us smoke.

Crossing our fingers for you!

Thank you!!

I was watching a live feed and I said "Burn down the buildings of millionaire CEOs" or something and someone said "Get a job" and I said "You can work for me" and he said "I already do" and I don't get that mentality cuz if i was american, average income is 20k a year so divided by 12 = 1666 a month 24% tax is 400 a month and ... So I tried googling the welfare statistics for 2019 cuz 2020 is 21% of americans on it so .. But anyways.. he would give me a few cents. He has that singing dancing lady to Newtus mentality of "I PAY FOR YOU TO LIVE".

It's annoying.

In conclusion: Not very productive of my time to watch that live video.

It's just.. Everything is driving me nuts.

"US poll says 3 in 4 Republican voters believe in Bill Gates coronavirus conspiracy"

I just.. I need a good sleep..

My sister gave me a book to read.. it's called;

1984

You ever read it?

about 2am everyone can read my mind my thoughts are open they see

Don't worry it just feels like they can but the only way that anyone can even get a certain percent of it is if they read your body language - Which isn't much.

Wait for the med to kick in and just sit alone. If anyone is in the house, tell them how you're feeling - be honest.

It just helps to talk. I know you deal with DR/DP dissociation so it's hard to function and worse to deal with paranoia but don't worry it will be ok..

Eventually you'll look back on this - Maybe in the morning, a week from now or later and you'll feel content. You deserve to find peace and calmness.

Try to distract yourself - Even with a hand held object that moves.. Just think through the thoughts - Try to analyze or ignore. We can never stop thinking but we can change how we think.

We've all been through this or similar to what you're going through. The right meds help but it's a huge pain to go through the process. You can do it..

I haven't. I'm gonna read a bit of the book I'm reading on my phone and then I'll read 1984 (It's paperback) after. It will give me a distraction or just open my mind up to help me understand the world a little bit more - Either way is good.

Why are you surprised that I haven't read it? Is it a common book that many have read? I guess it is because my sister had to read it for high school. I never read it in high school though..

A lot of people read it for school, not sure if we had to... Don't think so. Don't remember reading it. But know roughly what it is about. We think you'll like it. Definitely brings up stuff to think about.