Roll Call 170

It's all good, haha. I listened to the audiobook version, actually. I find that when I go for long walks or drives or whatever I like listening to audiobooks. I also walk on the treadmill and listen to audiobooks. Something to try maybe?

There’s also ethnobotany.....

Me too! Which books did you get? I bought some hamann, vico, and herder which talk about the subject of poetry and I also bought some Pound and Benn who are poets. =) Oh i also bought a biography of William Blake, and a biography on Goethe, and another weird book on goethe's works. It's called Essential Goethe, but it's just a compilation of this and that which maybe the amateur would be impressed but I'm not at all. Faust part 1 but not part 2? No Werther? Fragments of this and that. I have no idea what basis this editor went by to put this large book together. I'd rather he just make it a book on Goethe's works with excessive quotes, but honestly, that's asking a life time of study, and this was surely more convenient to just smash what a passerby would find eye-catching.

Made a list of what I need to do tomorrow. Hopefully I stick to it. I'll start the day off with a meditation that helps with procrastination on my Balance app.

I actually bought Some small name poets books on amazon. One book called disconnect is mental health poetry. I bought that one cuz it was interesting plus I hope to help exercise my brain since I do that type of poetry. I also bought Inward by Yung Pueblo. He does humanist philosophy poetry.

Right on! There's so much of poetry i still need to understand. A lot of the time I read it and feel and thing nothing. Part of it is the anhedonia but the other part is that I just don't have the nature for it sadly.

How was everyone’s fourth? Anyone do anything special?

We had fun at the bfs Bros house...ribs, fruit and broccoli and pasta salads....good company then it got too hot so went in and watched nature shows......

This is such a nicer feeling room. Just one roommate and she is nice, but I can't see the sky because trees are blocking my windows.

I miss my vape.

Exhausted post;

So, when I went through my bad trip, when it started to take effect, it was like I was being physically turned inside out, having gasoline poured on me and falling down a cliff of poison Ivy and knives - On fire.

Now, I feel like normal people go through this regularly.. But it can't happen to me anymore because I feel like it damages my brain - Unless it's necessary for growth? I remember sitting through a chat of toxic people posting pepe gifs - And I feel all of the hate that they give to minorities and their careless existence, sociopathy and narcissism.

I'm an empath. I'm not even really supposed to be learning anymore it seems. Instead I just need to heal people - But I have to go for the strenuous battle of turning my mind inside out for what meaning? I suppose I should finish that book. People have been through crazy trauma and still manage to function.. Why? Because they let people know about what's going on inside their minds (MDMA talk therapy allows people to open up for example).

And all of the exhaustion - Of the self, the world, the pure madness.. I suppose that I should just let go and surrender to shame, guilt, people taking advantage of me and controlling me and just never give up.

One of their daughters has bipolar and just started seroquel....I felt bad because I think she experienced the heat intolerance effects and went into the ac and took a nap. I wanted to give advice but I don’t know her well enough to do that....maybe I’ll have a chance at another holiday....

Fiancé cut his finger with a reallllly sharp knife. Ugh . My mom gave them to us and she had told me repeatedly upon repeatedly “don’t cut your yourself, these are extremely sharp”. Fck man.

Sorry to hear...this s isn’t going to help now, but generally you want to form your holding hand into a claw...watching food network or something on pbs or even you tube can help with this technique.....

I keep asking for a blanket but a blanket never comes. I'm due to ask again. Almost 9pm. My headphones are charged.

My tv works!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad! I have to figure out how to pair the tv with my headphones and then it doesn't matter that she's on the phone 24/7 and her tv is on audibly too.

My mom called me and she doesn't use her hearing aid. And she expects me to shout answers to questions about my roommate.

The one thing I’ll say about the bigger schools is that they really set you up to succeed by introducing you to the right people, sometimes who you know is just as important as what you know if you want to get ahead....

Awkward.....

I had my 4th of July food on the 1st here at the apartment complex since no one would be here to cook it today. Today I got ice cream for my 4th of July treat. Right now I’m just listening to the fireworks. They’ve been going on for over a month and they normally piss me off and make me anxious but tonight they’re not bothering me

Sounds awesome what flavor 🍦?

Glad your TV is working. Bluetooth headphones are great! Hope you get that blanket soon

Coffee with espresso bean flavored chocolate flakes

Wow!!!!!!!

Super allergic to fur...the bros family have cats....my eye started watering like two hours ago and hadn’t stopped yet despite leaving when it started....this is with Claritin....

Hang in there...

Don't even get me started on this rant...

Hey bpcyclist....how are you and Albert doing today?

Thank you! I only had to ask 4 times.