Roll Call 172

Hope u start to feel better. Maybe play some animal crossing?

I'm taking monday off so I have a 3 day weekend. Ahhh. Tomorrow I see my sister for the first time in 6 years.



It's a sad occassion but I'm still happy to see her.

I have a date on sunday which I'm very nervous about. My date told me she's been quiet with me because she had a really awesome date and she typically gets quiet with other guys when she feels a "strong connection" So now i have that hanging over my head as we go on our first date. I'm actually a bit upset because now that hangs over the date, i have no clue what she was thinking but that was definitely too much info. I hope i can be myself with the expectation now.

The new Taylor swift album is great, it's dark, stormy, more sincere, less popy, i recommend it. I'm not a fan of anything else she has done but I heard a song played on NPR All Songs Considered and loved it.

My brain compressed all that into new album how did I not know?

So first sorry about your sisters ex....

Glad your date feels connected that’s a good thing....try not to let it get to you.....

No! She felt a strong connection with another dude she is dating right now! It's not me! lol

Steak for dinner. Fiancé is making them.

I’m revering in things.

I got an early birthday present. Gosh ima be 30... Man fck. I’m just scared cuz I thought I was supposed to have everything in line by 30. I worry more about my lack of accomplishments than I do how I look. I feel like everything is a deadline when it comes to age. I guess cuz my parents kinda indirectly said that. My dads like “if you don’t goto a college, it may be too late”. And my moms like “if you don’t lose all that weight by 30, your body is gonna go downhill after that”. And just other stuff.



Got these, too, for my birthday. Kitty ears gaming headset and the ears can be turned different colors.

Also, just idk. I’m happy lately but I’m sad. I was reading about a Caucasian rapper, Logic, who is retiring because he has a young infant son now. One of his last songs before retirement talked about how he’s accomplished all this stuff but he’s still a very sad person. How he’s had loads of money, fame, respect and he’s still quite sad. And I can relate so much. Not with fame or even a lot of respect, but money yes, from how I grew up. Fame? Maybe local fame. And some respect on my name through my small accomplishments. But all in all, I’m still a baseline sad person. Always have been. Always have been that person chasing the next high in the form of accomplishments. Getting accomplishments are my drug of choice. If that makes sense. Risk-taking behavior but in the form of bettering myself, with each new thing one step above the last. Idk how to explain.

I hate inspections with a passion.

Been trying to wake up for 2 hours. Finally I've woken up. It's not worth working when it takes that much effort to wake me up.

I drank coffee but my blood pressure seems to increase. I'll go to work for a few hours and then come back and lie in bed, unmotivated with pressure in my chest.

I'm afraid of stretching out my heart valves.

This sucks.

Waiting for my hair to dry so I can walk to Family Dollar and get a few things I need. I have a lot to do today but am not feeling motivated at all. I'll force myself to get some things done though hopefully.

Half the time I go out with wet hair.....