Roll Call 176

Yea I know. Well she finally took him to the doctor

Just got Apple Music student...I was using google play until they discontinued free service ....

I feel like crap. PMS. Not sure what to do. Maybe color?

I can't wait to see my pdoc and tell her about my progress. And my therapist when I talk to her on the phone.

I thought some more about the idea of getting off all my meds and onto an injection but I think I'm going to stay on the meds I'm on. My reasoning is that I've been stable for over 2 months now and I don't want to screw around with the chemicals in my brain if things are going okay. And I'm working on my fear about choking and am getting better at taking them.

Check me out on Apple Music! My artist name is Newtus.

I have gained about 30 pounds this year so far. I'm planning on ordering pizza soon from whichever place has two liter bottles of Coke and Fanta Orange. 3 two liters of Coke, and 2 two liters of orange. I could wait longer for the pizza but I'm dying for the pop. Tomorrow is Friday and I should order because it will be easier than on the weekend.

If I "thank" your post, please know that usually it's meant as a hug. Tapatalk should give users the choice in settings whether you want to save hugs or whatever else. It would be a great new feature!

I tried searching but could not find.....any tips?

Never mind had to scroll to artists....

I feel like I'm in hell.

I can't even write anymore.

I went off of Klonopin too fast... Ugh. Now need to taper more slowly. I wish I could have seen that coming.

Also, the teacher for my last class thinks my Spanish ability is bad. Which kind of sucks. I wish I could explain to her that I'm on a bunch of sedating meds and that makes it harder.

So, A. I'm nervous about her thinking my Spanish is bad, but at the same time,
B. I'm nervous about being on too low of a dose of Klonopin.

Ok so something really weird happened in the past hour..

I was enjoying listening to a song and I finally just said "Press pause". So I pressed pause and started doing what I should be doing in terms of self improvement. I got to the video I posted in my last post here - Then someone in the comments mentioned that he/she has ADHD - Someone linked him/her to this video;



If you have ADHD, you NEED to watch it.

I knew this phenomenon would work but I never tried it. I believe that this thing improves executive dysfunction.

I'm going to try this more and more - Hopefully not getting a panic attack but I have faith that the olanzepine will prevent that.

I'm caught in bad habits and a negative loop of depression. This guy read 50 books just by saying that he would read one word, learned German instead of listening to music - Because what is music doing to serve me? I'm not going to be a musician - Unless I really want to. But mostly I just listen to songs that I don't even like. It's gotten to the point of complete nonsense.

I have much more confidence in myself after watching this video.

Now I will sleep.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day with this new insight. I'm a mess, - But I find comfort in accepting and being grateful for my life..

I think I may not need the ketamine nasal spray or psilocybin microdoses while on this path.

Im tired of being tired our covid cases are rising they put our building in lockdown. We have to wear masks in all common areas and we are allowed no guests. I hate my new psychatrist he didnt listen to me and called my mother and my housing without my consent. I been in very scary psychosis and he says we'll talk in 2 weeks totally dismissing all my concerns and all he wanted me on was stuff that i had been on before that either made me lactacte, allergic to or so called he believed that loxapine made me calm when i said it did nothing of the sort. I want a real doctor not some fly by the seat of their pants guy telling me i needed my housing to dispense my meds. I said i would never consent to that because it takes away my rights as an individual. There not nurses there just pretend mental health workers with no mental health training. Just because i am honest doesnt mean it gives him the right to talk down to me or pretend hes this god like figure. I thought he was different now i just feel misslead and false hope with promises saying hes a good doctor. They all lie and make themselves feel better at the end of the day not caring about what or how they treat there patients.

I will gladly knock him off his high pedestal and teach him some life lessons.

Be careful, green.

My ride never showed up, group starts now so I guess I'm missing it :/

I'm sorry Blue, I know you were looking forward to it.

Got my thanksgiving lunch, may not be able to see it but there’s mashed potatoes in there and macaroni and cheese too it’s just buried under all the other food lol. Plus I got a Canada Dry soda and an apple with it. I am stuffed. I still have quite a bit leftover for tonight or tomorrow.

Your Thanksgiving lunch looks good Blue! Makes me hungry for Thanksgiving dinner!

When is Thanksgiving?

Next Thursday the 26th

Thanks we dont celebrate it over here lol

Tapatalk doesn't seem to give me notifications anymore.