Roll Call 181

That sounds nice!

I’m so overwhelmed

Ugh I am so depressed again.

Ever feel like everything is meaningless? That's how I feel right now.

Just had my vaccine. I felt really nervous/sick before i went in. I feel ok now

Idk what to do with my time today

I think I’m hitting a depression

Omg today is going to be horrible

I'm sorry Newtus! Why is that?

It’s been a few days without the topamax now and I seem to be doing a little better without it but anyway I think things are at least a little bit better so I cancelled my bloodwork and am going to see about staying on my current meds and not going on clozaril.

I’m depressed and seen I got a letter from the irs coming today

I'm sorry.

Genuinely

Has anyone heard from SlumberKitty? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen her around. I know she usually doesn’t come on during weekends but I don’t remember seeing her here last week. Just wondering if she’s okay.

I’m buying a new laptop when my stimulus gets deposited on Wednesday. Mine is practically dead and has so many problems. I’ll need a new one especially since I’ll be starting college again in the fall and doing online classes.

I saw her last week I think.

I am buying a new laptop with my stimulus check, too!

I pitched in and put half my stimulus to help Dustin get a new computer. His is 9 years old.

I am in the process of getting back on meds and I think I’ve been delusional for a bit. Are there any grounding exercises to deal with delusions?

How to overcome insecurities, only 16 minutes.

Sometimes mindfulness can help.


Like what is one thing you can see, feel, hear, smell, or taste.

Sometimes it helps to just feel the sensation of your feet on the floor or the sensation of sitting on a chair.

Also challenging the delusions - this is probably the hardest - but writing down what the delusion is and then challenging it by saying "this is not true because x" is a good idea too.

^^^That’s something I’ve got to work on too. Challenging delusions and paranoia. Every time I start believing bizarre stuff and whatnot and I tell my psychiatrist she asks me if I can challenge that and I always say I don’t know, I’ve never really worked on it.

Depressed Vyvanse crash
Went unconscious zopiclone dreams
Vyvanse wake up at 1pm
Not sure what to do - Maybe write things down
Need to buy more nicotine gum but also want to quit
Messy mind, messy chaotic world
Lacking social interaction
Hopelessness about the world but must keep going

I’m making this recipe next month. It has shredded chicken breast, shredded cheddar cheese, cream cheese, ranch seasoning, and bacon bits cooked in a crockpot then put on buns for sandwiches.

I haven’t used my crockpot in awhile so I wanted to try something new out.

Ooh that sounds good! Do you have any crockpot cookbooks? Crockpots are great. I'm not much of a cook but sometimes I like to make things (especially tacos) and always like trying new recipes.

Talked to my doctor. Upped my lithium a little bit because I still seem a bit hypomanic.

I was super focused again today at work. Just decimating my workload. I might only have a few things left to do tomorrow. Oops. I didn't ration out my work to last me. But I do have a meeting with my boss tomorrow and we're going to talk about 'goal setting' (the company makes us set goals for our performance reviews - it's frustrating and dumb and I wish they would just tell us if we're doing a good job or not). There's an individual goal that I don't know what to put. Maybe my boss has some suggestions. A lot of people go for CEBS or GBA designations but that involves outside courses and I already have my hands full with courses. Maybe it's possible to put my university coursework towards my goals. I'll ask my boss tomorrow.

Anyway, not much else happening. I'm going to try to study a bit today. I wish I had my roll of yarn so I could crochet. I'm waiting for one roll in the mail for this section I'm working on. After I'm done that roll I can move on to my other colors (I have four rolls of one color, and five rolls of another). I can't wait. Should be next week or so I get that one roll that's holding me up.