Roll Call 190

We played a fun game in group therapy last night called the UM game. You basically get asked a bunch of weird silly questions and everyone answers. It's kind of a team building, get to know each other better thing. The question I asked the group is, if you could have any imaginary pet what would it be? My answer was an invisible cat so I could take her to work with me!

Uni octopus….magical rainbow Uni octopus.

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I should mention I’m allergic to most pets imaginary or not…….lol

I feel weird. Idk if it’s from starting to taper off the trileptal, too much coffee or not enough food

I'm doing pretty good today. I had a bit of a rough start to the day. Felt pretty sick. But I am better now.

How has your sleep been?

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I forgot to set my alarm….I feel less good with less energy. Can’t help but feel I’m playing with fire but still, it felt nice to feel good like actually upbeat for a change.

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Just finished my fourth book of the year. Feels good to be reading again, and at a normal rate above 300 wpm. Seriously considering learning speed reading after limitless. It could be so useful.

Glad you’re doing good WA, sorry you had a rough start though.

It’s been good, just at weird times. Like I didn’t fall asleep till like 2 or 3am and slept until 1pm.

I woke up feeling better though

Crazy dreams, hard to get out of bed, took stim at 9am, dragging on with work but enough energy to get by, came home, shower, clean litter box, made coffee, gave my cat some milk, refilled more stim and will now smoke weed, look at whats happening in this crazy world then might read something on my tablet..

Just a normal day

I'm going to stretch my ears again back to a 22mm gauge. I miss all the fun colorful different styles of plugs I used to wear. I left them without wearing anything in them for a few years and they shrank back down. But I'm really getting the urge to wear them again. I'll have to start back out from the beginning it will take awhile till I'm at 22mm again.

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I wish I had your motivation. I've been severely lacking in motivation the past few months. I procrastinate so much.

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There's always a place where I put my things.. They all have their own place (Every little thing) - This started after I had all of those dissociative panic attacks. It sort of created new compulsions (Because I'd always have to find where my things were while panicking, staring at them for over 5+ minutes each until I knew what their functions were).

It helped to organize/write daily tasks on a piece of paper. It seemed weird because I wrote down every single thing that I did - I started off with 1-2 things a day (Because I was so dissociated and panicky).

I used to not do anything.. No shower, or brushing teeth, no making my bed, no chores (Once my moms ex got kicked out) - I didn't know what to do. In the psych hospital, my dad took me to a bench outside to cut my nails because I wasn't taking care of myself and told me to get haircuts, shower etc.

But it's good now.. It just takes time to build habit. If I don't do the things I need to do, I can't focus and get intrusive thoughts.

Taking the stimulant as prescribed really helps too. I still procrastinate things because I'd rather scroll social media and listen to music etc but I make sure to keep thinking about what I want to do until I finally do it. Sometimes it can take days.

I remember in high school, no one wanted to do a certain safety course (It was one of the biggest pains) and a classmate said "Let's just get it done and over with" and I thought to myself, "Wtf? How can someone be like that?".. I was really depressed but I thought about it for a long time.

That's awesome! I'm trying to get like that, it will take some work but I think I can do it

I use Microsoft's To-Do app to keep track of things.

This is tomorrows to do list, plus washing/changing bed sheets and washing my comforter.

I also will need to take a shower. It will all take a few hours but I can just take it one step at a time. I'll start at 8am tomorrow morning then report back on here around 1pm with how it went, to help hold me accountable kind of

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Been feeling kinda meh even though I have the day off and all. Idk we went out to the park but it was so cold we walked like ten minutes total and the rest of the day was errands. I feel like a change is coming, maybe I’ll go out on my own tomorrow….it’s championship weekend or some sporty thing that bf wants to see. So maybe I should go out on my own.

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I feel nauseous and have a headache. I think it’s because I keep waking up too late and missing my morning meds

I feel weird and paranoid.

Are they the kind you’re supposed to take even if you miss the time?

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I don't know, the morning ones are trileptal, Zoloft, abilify, Wellbutrin, naltrexone. These are the ones I keep missing

The night ones I haven't been missing are the 2nd dose of trileptal and my thorazine. Those I've been taking.

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For Abilify if you miss it’s you’re supposed to take it as soon as possible so lunch time would be ok…..can you talk to a doc or pharmacist about what to do?

Yeah I can, I'll take it as soon as I get up tomorrow and will try to keep back on schedule. I've probably missed my morning meds 3 or 4 times this week but I'm usually good at taking them on time. I always thought I should just skip them if I wake up and it's after 11am because I aim to take them at 8am

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Pretty soon once I'm off the trileptal I'll just be on

10mg abilify
200mg Zoloft
300mg Wellbutrin
50mg Naltrexone
And 200mg thorazine

Klonopin prn but I rarely take that

That's the least amount of meds I've been on in a long time. I hope things go well with coming off the trileptal. I have been on it for like 6 or more years. So we'll see. So far we stopped the 300mg afternoon dose of trileptal. I'm still taking 600mg in the morning and 600mg at night. We're cutting it down one pill per week till I'm off it.

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I feel very anxious and slightly paranoid about some things I can't keep letting my anxiety and whatnot take over though.

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