Roll Call 193

Desoxyn · May 29, 2022, 07:42 PM

Everyone has their own reality and I'm stuck in this one..

If anyone wants, you can build upon this thought..

Desoxyn · May 29, 2022, 08:01 PM

Desoxyn · May 29, 2022, 08:25 PM

The Psychological Impact of Uncertainty: Why a Bigger IQ Isn'''t the Answer

Blue_Bird · 04:51 AM

Fire alarm went off at 4:30am woke me up out of a dead sleep. grabbed my keys, phone, emergency go-bag and evacuated and stood outside, someone burned something they were cooking, it was all smoky in the hallway. Fire department came and took care of the smoke.

Blue_Bird · May 30, 2022, 05:55 AM

Buying a fitbit so I can track my steps and help motivate myself to walk a lot

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 12:52 PM

Mixture of sadness and happiness

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 12:54 PM

But this morning is good. Vyvanse, nicotine, coffee - Managed to wake up at 11am, got ready..

I'm thinking of starting a chemistry course - To understand molecules/pharmacology.. My mom said that it's a good idea.

I did good at it in high school but during grade 12, I was brought to the psych hospital and didn't finish.

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 02:08 PM

I can't get started on anything. I drank a rum.

Sometimes psychotic · May 30, 2022, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I can't get started on anything. I drank a rum.

I know it’s kinda you to reach for a substance but I feel like there are always long term consequences….exercise generally helps with motivation without any negative consequences. Have you tried it?

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I know it’s kinda you to reach for a substance but I feel like there are always long term consequences….exercise generally helps with motivation without any negative consequences. Have you tried it?

It's always been.. Visiting, working lately. I'm going on a hike tomorrow so I'll look forward to that ^-; I hike 1-2 times a week usually in the summer and skiing 1-2 times a week in the winter..

I wish I had someone to go mountain biking with.. There's a lot of bears out right now.. I took this picture just recently (In the car)..

Roll Call 193

Sometimes psychotic · May 30, 2022, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

It's always been.. Visiting, working lately. I'm going on a hike tomorrow so I'll look forward to that ^-; I hike 1-2 times a week usually in the summer and skiing 1-2 times a week in the winter..

I wish I had someone to go mountain biking with.. There's a lot of bears out right now.. I took this picture just recently (In the car)..

Roll Call 193

Cool bear. I don’t mean you need a four hour hike, just take 15 mins to walk around the block….it works for me if I really can’t get started.

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WastingAsparagus · May 30, 2022, 03:53 PM

I am probably going back down to 10 mg olanzapine. The 15 mg olanzapine makes me so tired. It's ridiculous. And I don't know how to cope with such tiredness.

WastingAsparagus · May 30, 2022, 03:56 PM

And I feel like **** for the fact that I'm going to skip dinner at my aunt and uncle's house for Memorial Day. Anyway.

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 04:24 PM

Sitting outside in the sun. 1x Dexedrine is perfectly OK. Idk how my MacBook can handle the heat.. We'll find out..

I was gonna go for a walk but idek know where to walk. Would be nice to walk around town but I'm still a little paranoid of people after what happened in 2020 (The group of people that ganged up on me and I threatened one with a plastic shovel)..

@WA, Have you tried modafinil while on a higher dose of olanzepine? I forget why you stopped the modafinil - If it was cuz of anxiety/psychosis, then it could work. Just an idea.

It's crazy that I'm on AP and stim. Benefits of both and reduced side effects of both. Modafinil doesn't last 16 hours for me - I think 4 hours? idk

I'm gonna try and get onto the chemistry course.. It's so nice outside! Idk if I should smoke Indica... I seem mentally content right now except for that something seems to be missing.. Something is always missing.. That's why I take chems to fill the void ;-;

WastingAsparagus · May 30, 2022, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Sitting outside in the sun. 1x Dexedrine is perfectly OK. Idk how my MacBook can handle the heat.. We'll find out..

I was gonna go for a walk but idek know where to walk. Would be nice to walk around town but I'm still a little paranoid of people after what happened in 2020 (The group of people that ganged up on me and I threatened one with a plastic shovel)..

@WA, Have you tried modafinil while on a higher dose of olanzepine? I forget why you stopped the modafinil - If it was cuz of anxiety/psychosis, then it could work. Just an idea.

It's crazy that I'm on AP and stim. Benefits of both and reduced side effects of both. Modafinil doesn't last 16 hours for me - I think 4 hours? idk

I'm gonna try and get onto the chemistry course.. It's so nice outside! Idk if I should smoke Indica... I seem mentally content right now except for that something seems to be missing.. Something is always missing.. That's why I take chems to fill the void ;-;

Yeah I'm still on modafinil 200 mg. Maybe pdoc could increase the modafinil.

WastingAsparagus · May 30, 2022, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Yeah I'm still on modafinil 200 mg. Maybe pdoc could increase the modafinil.

Actually, I don't want to be on higher doses yet of other meds. I think I'm going down to 10 mg olanzapine.

WastingAsparagus · May 30, 2022, 06:13 PM

Positive thing is I ran a 10K today.

Sometimes psychotic · May 30, 2022, 06:24 PM

Find something, it doesn’t have to be perfect but something you can live with. There will be fluctuations in mood states, motivation etc. you’ll likely gain weight. As far as I can tell life wasn’t meant to be perpetually positive….with or without MI.

About meds, to no one particular or maybe everyone?

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Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 06:59 PM

I'm so confused and frustrated with life, what should I do? - Quora

Desoxyn · May 30, 2022, 07:26 PM

I can't make goals..

Blue_Bird · May 31, 2022, 07:44 AM

Good morning. Walking downtown to CVS in a bit to pick up my meds. Feeling good. Slept fairly good. Had bad dreams though.

Woke up around 5am, listened to a podcast and drank coffee and played a game for a bit. Then ate breakfast, took my meds, washed my face, fed the cats, brushed/flossed my teeth, did the dishes. Now I’m drinking another coffee until I head out.

Mustachio was so snuggly last night, she got under the covers and slept right next to me.

Have an in-person appointment with my therapist on Thursday. It’s our first in-person meeting in over a year. We’ve been doing video meetings for a long time due to Covid but she needs me to sign some paperwork.

So excited for Friday to get here so I can get my nose pierced. The tattoo place is only like a 5 minute walk from my apartment building so it’s really in a convenient location. It used to be located way farther downtown but they changed locations a few years ago and now they’re basically right down the street.

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Blue_Bird · May 31, 2022, 09:35 AM

Wore sunscreen when I went out today, didn't want to get a bad sunburn again. Wearing it every time I go out in the summer now.

Picked up my meds, bought some cat litter, and checked out the tattoo place while I was down there so I now know exactly where it is for Friday. I mean, I knew where it was according to google maps but I needed to see it in person, idk why, just a weird anxiety quirk I have. I have to check places out before I actually go there if it's somewhere I've never been to before, it helps me feel less anxious

SlumberKitty · May 31, 2022, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I have to check places out before I actually go there if it's somewhere I've never been to before, it helps me feel less anxious

I do this too.

SlumberKitty · May 31, 2022, 11:29 AM

Did everyone have a nice weekend? I was sick on Saturday with a bad migraine. Then Sunday was Church and then my pastor's retirement party, then yesterday I chilled. Today I am back at work. Big bosses are coming in. That always makes me nervous but hopefully all will be well.

Sometimes psychotic · May 31, 2022, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

So I had an ultrasound of my abdomen and my gallbladder looks fine, but my liver is fatty and they couldn’t see my pancreas in the scan. I have to have a CT scan anyway at end of August so going to add on abdomen CT to the list for that day. And get sent to a liver doctor soon as well.

And I have an appointment in early August with the gastroenterologist to follow up because it’s been like five years since I was diagnosed with celiac and just want to make sure everything is still good.

Until I hear from someone or it’s August I just have to continue on with no alcohol, low fat diet (I’ve discovered fried food, high fat food, and full fat dairy make me feel sick). Lots of black coffee can help liver apparently too.

It can be frustrating at times and I’ve had some disordered eating thoughts and feelings resurface but I’m getting there.

I know I’m overweight which apparently got me into this mess and need to lose weight. I’ve lost close to 15lbs so far just cutting out fatty foods and alcohol.

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My bf has fatty liver, they put him on statins….it helps….he already avoids alcohol and eats healthy….it’s some genetic thing with him.

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