Roll Call 195

I need to write more lists and organize..

Do you have Microsoft OneNote or a similar program to write lists? You can even make checklists...

Yes ty!

I have "EverNote" - Although really afraid of it shutting down (If something happens to the company/server) + All of my passwords are everywhere. It's a mess. I'm surprised I didn't get hacked on at least one thing.

I could download some of my notes and transfer them.. They are my life's work.. (My notes..)

worried about my pdoc appointment later on today. I don't know if he is going to want to change the medicines or what since I was at the hospital. I think I am better than I was a month ago. But it's not like psychosis is totally gone either. Not sure what to do about that.

Then I went and scheduled myself a GP appointment. I have had pain in my shoulder for a while. So I called today, thinking I would get in to see her in a month or two. Nope. They had an appointment today, so I took it.

Not sure I will ever be psychosis free.

Pdoc added some medicine to help with the psychosis.

My brother in law died of a heart attack on his trip in Cambodia. My sister just told me the news a few minutes ago. They were married for 25 years, since I was like 3 years old. So he’s always been around in my life. He’s my nieces father (my nephew who’s older than my niece, same age as me, has a different father) anyway, my sister and him split up a few months ago due to some difficulties in their marriage, weren’t divorced yet. I am shocked, I don’t know what to think

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Sorry for your loss.

Yeah I split mine between evernote and onenote, tbh, because I could never decide which program was better (and still can't).

I am so sorry for your loss, Blue_Bird, let us know if there's anything we can do to support you.

Thanks DownandLonely and WA, I appreciate it

It's weird how someone can be alive and well and then suddenly gone, I will miss him. He was a lot of fun to be around. I'm trying to be there for my sister and niece. I feel bad for my niece. She's 17 and like a year ago her best friend she grew up with her whole life and now her dad has died.

That’s so sad bluebird…..there are some good books on grief like when breath becomes air.

Yeah the past several week he was posting amazing pictures of his vacation there and all his adventures. So it's sad that he died during his dream vacation. He was in the Marines for over 20 years and was a retired sgt. He did explosives disposal and had been to 20 something countries. He also struggled severely with PTSD from his time in the military, and was struggling real bad for a couple years. He just recently started doing really well a

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Which is sad because he starts doing really well, goes on his dream vacation and dies during it.

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Thanks for the book suggestion SP, I'll check it out sometime

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My sister is trying to get his remains back from Cambodia which is hard since she's here in New York and the US embassy is making things kind of hard apparently. So hopefully she can get that done so he can be put to rest.

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I’m sorry blue bird. My dad died in his sleep 10 years ago today and it’s hard to believe that someone can be alive and well and then gone the next day.

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Thank you, yeah it is. I had that experience with my mom 7 years ago. I mean she wasn't technically doing well, she had leukemia, but I talked to her on the phone like 7 years ago when she went in the hospital (we lived together) she had just gone in for a couple days and then the next day the doctor called to tell me she died. She was literally home a few days before that and everything was okay, or as okay as it could be considering she had leukemia. Things were normal. Then suddenly I was alone in the house and that was it. It's definitely shocking when someone is there and then isn't. I'm sorry you went through that with your dad.

My brother in law drove all the way down to the state I was living in to move me back up to NY with him and my sister.

He was a good guy, had some problems like everyone does especially with mental health struggles which are hard, but was a lot of fun to be around and was there my whole life. Very dependable good person.

I'm glad he got a chance to go on an awesome vacation and have some fun before it happened, even though it's sad he died while actually on vacation.

I hope you're doing okay on the anniversary/day your dad died

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So I saw the allergist today. My doctor was concerned I was allergic to medication and had a reaction back in June when I had COVID. I had that bad rash. I was on lamotrigine and Advil at the time and was battling COVID so there was some confusion what was causing the rash. Doctor was worried I had DRESS.

Allergist went through all my symptoms and seeing how I got better when COVID got better and he doesn’t think I have DRESS or that I’m allergic to Advil or lamotrigine.

So that’s good.

I just need to get my CT results back so they can figure what’s up with my liver. I have an appointment with the one doctor mid September to go over things see how my neck and my chest are doing with the lumps and all that. Will probably talk about my abdomen too.

I need to make an appointment to see my regular doctor by the end of the month. I also need to call the dentist and get an appointment to get a new mouth guard. I’ll call them both tomorrow.

Hopefully my liver is better. I might get a call from my regular doctor tomorrow or Tuesday if he reads my CT results. Who knows.

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That sounds like you have a lot going on cogladaid. I'm glad that the allergy doesn't seem to have been the meds. I hope your doctor talks to you soon about the CT results. I Know I would be worrying. Hang in there.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to call to get appointments but I called today instead. Why not.

Got an appointment with my regular doctor at the end of the month.

Have an appointment with the dentist this Saturday to do the impression for my mouth guard! Then pick up and fitting would be a week later.

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I went to my GP yesterday because I have been having shoulder pain. Full disclosure--I have been having shoulder pain for years but I have a high pain tolerance so I just ignored it and figured it was part of getting older. Well, then I started getting numbness and tingling in my arm and thumb. So after a few months of that I thought hmm. Maybe I better take care of it. So I went to my GP yesterday. She said it isn't my shoulder, that it is my neck. She said that my muscles surrounding my neck are really tight and tense. So she showed me some exercises to do, prescribed heat and a muscle relaxant, and then told me to get an x-ray but wait a week to see if these other things help. So okay, I'm glad that there is a plan in place. She said I could take Ibuprofen too if I wanted. She was going to give me a prescription for that but I was like, I can just take OTC.

But while I was there, she always does a mini-psych-eval. So she did that. And she made me show her my arms to make sure there wasn't any self harm. I know she is just trying to take care of me the best that she can but that kind of bothered me.

Just had an appointment with my therapist. Had a lot to talk about so it lasted almost an hour. We talked about my brother in-law's death, my volunteering, and some other stuff. I told her about my panic attack while volunteering and she said it's really impressive that I made it through a lunch shift while starting it during a panic attack, and managed to calm myself down and keep myself from bolting out the door.

Trigger for ED related stuff


I told her about me graduating from the care coordination program next month, the one I've been in for like 6 years, since I'm pretty much independent now. She said that's a big accomplishment and that I've made a lot of progress

She asked if I was nervous about volunteering next Tuesday, I said I was a little nervous because I don't want to have a panic attack again, but if I do it's not the end of the world. And maybe I'll be more prepared to get through it. She said maybe after a few months of volunteering it will get less anxiety inducing

In good news I had spicy California rolls and they were super tasty!

Things are pretty organized on my devices (From attempting yesterday). My room is extremely organized and clean too. It's good. I have one of the best quality of lives (And the same in the future, as long as I don't screw things up). My mind is good, no symptoms of anything bad.

I see my psychiatrist in 2 weeks. I'll stay on the same meds.. just get refills.

My dad will visit soon. I'm very happy.. I have to dust and clean the house before he arrives - So I'll get on that.

Hugs to all