Roll Call 195

Sounds good! I'm going grocery shopping hopefully this weekend, getting stuff to make this:

Creamy Crockpot Crack Chicken - Family Fresh Meals

I'm sending my sister and niece a thing of flowers and a memorial/rememberance plaque

Anything with crack in the name tends to be amazing 🤩

I am doing okay. I cried a little today. Just cause I feel like I'm not getting along well with my family because of my mental health struggles.

Also I had an edible last night. Don't know if that helped or harmed me. I don't know. I probably shouldn't take any more of them eh.

Edit: Yeah it definitely harmed me.

It just sucks when I feel like I cannot connect with family.

I'm gonna meditate for 20 minutes - If I start to feel tired, I'll stop. I need to recalibrate my mind. Then I'll find some books that I want to read.

Self-actualization - Wikipedia

I need to come back to these things..

18 Signs You Have a Poorly Developed Sense of Self (+ What to Do) ⋆ LonerWolf

And put in more work..

I don't care how much pressure I put on myself most times.

Edit: But yeah, I'll get to the meditating lol..

And this was the best video I've ever seen;

It'll take a while and you'll feel better. Schiz people often do this for some reason but shouldn't

I keep getting thoughts in my head ‘stop taking your meds’. I ignore it but sometimes it’s hard.

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I feel like I’ll never meet anyone to have a romantic relationship with and that sometimes scares me. I know that relationships aren’t the only way to go about life but I can’t help but feeling left out of the club.

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Buying a new pair of sneakers today. The ones I currently have I’ve had for a year and a half. I walk everywhere because I don’t have a car so they’re pretty worn out so I think it’s time to get some new ones. Also buying a new winter coat so I’m prepared for when winter comes. I might get winter boots too. Depends if there’s anything for a reasonable price that’s good quality.

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Probably holding off on the winter boots until maybe November. Need to be careful with my budget over the next few months so I have enough for Christmas shopping and school stuff when I go back to college in January. So I’ll just get the sneakers and winter coat for now since those are necessities.

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Anyone watching the new Rings of Power show on Amazon prime? I’m gonna start it tonight. Big fan of the lord of the rings/the hobbit books and movies so I’m excited to see how this is

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Yeah I’m going to watch it. I hope it’s good. I know some people were already criticizing it because it’s not all white people. I mean wtf you can believe in magic and elves and dwarves and **** but not black people?? People are dumb.

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Yeah that's stupid, people are dumb

I just watched the first episode, I liked it, will watch the second episode probably this weekend

Anyone know anything about winter coats? I'm trying to decide between two. They're both the brand Columbia. One is $89 and one is $119. Which may not seem like a big difference but it is to me. But at the same time I want to get something good that I'll like that will last me a long time

I like the style of the one that's $30 extra, maybe I should just get that one, since winters are long here in NY and I will be wearing it a lot

Edit: idk. Why are coats so expensive.

Am I a histrionic chaot like my mother

Just IRL when I talk to people, I want the social interaction to end immediately. And can't process what to say - Just quick exchange of small talk (That I am even incapable of) and then run away.

But my mom - She'll talk for 10 minutes.. Or 20..

I don't think I know of anyone MORE SOCIAL than my mom.

No wonder, for some reason, she had to spawn a schiz autist.

I ended up buying the $120 Columbia winter coat and a pair of Adidas running shoes

I'm very happy for my dad to visit next week

Great shaman

I feel a little nostalgic, listening to songs from ~2017. It's almost as if I enjoyed depression.

I ended up getting the Columbia winter coat on sale for $70, which was down from an original price of $140, so that was a good deal, plus I got the adidas shoes on sale too at $35 down from $70. So I only spent about $105 total for everything. I edited my order to get the sale versions, it was the same coat but in a slightly different color but a huge price difference. So I don't think I did too bad. Stuff can get expensive fast especially when you're on a budget and have 2 cats to take care of, and Christmas is coming up and I want to get presents for family, of course the cats are my number one priority so I always take care of that first then whatever's left I use towards whatever else I need and try to make it work. I got a lot of litter and food for them so they're set for the month. I have my household essentials. So cool, I have a good quality winter coat that should last a few winters and shoes now that should last me awhile.

I'm ok, thanks but my anxiety is higher lately. I think maybe due to my mother's decline. I hope you'll feel better soon.

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How are you feeling today bluebird?

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