Roll Call 195

I wish I could get over my fear to do it because I would like to know where my Mom's ancestors come from. I only know my Dad's side. Scottish and German.

Angelique I'm so sorry to hear about your mom

Watching Christmas movies, you know like the hallmark type ones, not technically hallmark but some that are on Amazon prime, the romance/comedy type ones, I love them, they really put me in a positive mood

So sorry to hear that Angelique. HUGS

I'm not so sure what my religion is to be honest. I believe in God and some of Catholicism, I was confirmed and baptised, but there are certain things in it I don't agree with and I feel like I'm a hypocrite if I keep it up, but I do believe in God//jesus, treating others well etc. But at the same time I'm kind of interested in things like tarot cards (not as a religion but as a hobby, I find them interesting) however those type of things are forbidden in Catholicism, and also I like some aspects of buddhism so I don't know what I really am.

Some type of Zoloft-like heart flutter. It was happening in my dreams too. I'm always knocked down by stuff like this.

This is what I am (Omnist);

Omnism - Wikipedia

I like Buddhism (Would like to spend more time learning) + Hinduism seems interesting too.

Also I'm a panpsychist Panpsychism - Wikipedia , pantheist Pantheism - Wikipedia , /panentheist Panentheism - Wikipedia

I used to be an atheist, missed out on the mystical stuff in life (Cuz life in general is spiritual) - And still had psychosis.

Omnist must be what I am as well. Because I kind of find the good in different religions and apply it to my life.

Cause I also like things like yoga (I know that's not a religion, it's just another thing Cathoicism doesn't like because of it's roots) anyway, I do love some aspects of Catholicism. But there are just certain things I can't agree with. And I don't feel like I should be limited to one belief or I go to hell.

I feel a lot of guilt sometimes when I start connecting with other faiths, or getting into things that are frowned upon by the church like tarot, yoga, etc.

I exist. Had to take a break for a little (it was because I was extremely stressed).

I have severe anxiety about the state of the world right now.

I guess I haven't admitted it to anyone.

There's just like no one to talk to anymore.

I feel like the world is so individualized.

Depersonalization is the norm. It's so strange.

Music has been really, really, really helping me lately though. I bought a new guitar. I am finally making music again. Writing songs. Etc. It's good.

I feel a profound sense of alienation. But with that, I think I can learn some stuff. I don't know if anyone else feels that way.

My MA thesis is going to be close to that... I think I'll be done after the MA though. Haha. I don't want to write a doctoral thesis really. Not anymore. I just think I need to chill for a while. Maybe write some books or something. I don't know. Something philosophical.

It’s good to see you WA, glad you’re getting back into music

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I’m considering buying a tarot deck. There are some really cool ones with really nice artwork. They actually have a Hocus Pocus one (the Disney movie) probably promotional because Hocus Pocus 2 just came out on Disney Plus

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Here it is, it’s really cool looking. I think that will be my Halloween treat to myself

I mean I’m not religious but don’t let one church or anything tell you what really can and can’t have or do. Do what you think is right.

Tarot decks and yoga aren’t hurting anyone. Any church that tells you you’re going to hell or something for them is just full of ****.

My mom is religious and was raised catholic but she doesn’t go to service or anything. There are issues with the Catholic Church saying things are wrong that she doesn’t agree with. Like tarot decks and gay rights and trans rights. She calls herself a lapsed catholic.

‘Lift a rock and ye shall find me’ is what she believes.

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Thanks, yeah I have the same issues with not agreeing with the churches teachings on all the things you mentioned.

I think I'm just going to live the way I want and take different aspects of things that I feel are good and apply them to my life and not worry about the other stuff or whatever. Like I honestly am unsure about the afterlife so there's that. I don't really know if I believe in it or don't believe in it but I do believe in spirituality But I think I can be a good person in this life regardless.

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I am so excited for Halloween. The new Halloween movie comes out on October 14th. (Micheal Myers) this one is called Halloween Ends. I'm going to the theater with my friend to see it. Also just excited about the holiday in general. Going to watch lots of horror and spooky movies, maybe make chocolate chip pumpkin bread, order a pizza. Just have fun.

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I just have to.. sleep. World is too much for me.

Maybelle has really gotten comfortable here. I remember when I first got her in March she wouldn't let me anywhere near her, like barely even the same room, if I came within 5 feet she'd hiss, growl and run away and hide and she wouldn't eat for awhile Now she's always around me, lays on me , and likes to hang out in my bed when I'm in it. Like total opposite of how she was when I got her. And she eats a lot now

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So I went unconscious - A few times (Sleep), I feel much better.

I think I have such great FOMO + collapse/conspiracy anxiety that it takes up 99% of my life. Before, it was the opposite.

So I have to find balance - Or else I become exhausted from too much, and hopeless + exhausted from too little.

I'm sitting, watching videos.. Idk how long this should last... But I also feel like I'm not doing enough, still. I'll try to ignore.

Deeply depressed lol..

Good morning all. I have a class to teach this morning and I am not all that anxious about it, luckily. Or actually, I think it's because of some of the hard work I've been putting in towards staying healthy. But either way, hope everyone has an alright day.

Thank you, Kit. Now, they're saying they won't switch her treatment, so we got another reprieve.

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