Roll Call 195

I'm calm today, I'll be calm tomorrow. Things will balance out eventually.

I seek the crazy.. But my mind can't handle it. Because I'm normal

I got some pumpkin spice creamer today so I get to have my first pumpkin spice coffee of the season

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Talked with Pdoc last night through the portal. He is going to put me on Metformin which hopefully will help the A1C issue and also the weight gain. Stupid Olanzapine.

Last night was my last group therapy session because they are moving it to in person and it is just way too far for me to travel, plus I would be travelling at night. Not good. I'm a little sad because I will miss it but I think I only had two more months free anyway.

It “should” cut the weight gain in half…..however a lot of people get diarrhea so watch out for that.

Thanks for the head's up SP!

Supposed to have a meeting today with one of my difficult supervisors. She hasn't told me the time yet (It will be virtual because we work in different offices). I'm worried about the meeting and just want to get it over with but I also don't want to have it so I'm hoping she forgets about it. I hope it is not about anything I am doing wrong because that will just make me sad. And I hope she doesn't get, how she gets.

Ugh. She just messaged me. I guess it is going to be in half an hour.

I was on metformin for awhile to deal with AP related weight gain. I lost quite a bit of weight on it. But it made my blood sugar too low so I had to get off of it. I hope you have a good how d experience with it Kit

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Add metformin and pregabalin to the list.. Lol, that would be just too many meds. "What is wrong with him? Why does he need so many meds?" (Any doctor would say).

I try to keep it to a minimum. I'm not on an antidepressant.. I have a dysthymic personality.. Cheerful, yet deeply sad. Lol..

Today is a good day - I made it to work on time, then organized everything, had a shower and such... I thought to myself "Why not just be depressed and neglect everything for a while.. Like not even take the trash out - If people question me about being lazy, I'll ignore them" - But it didn't work!.. I'm obsessive, and have a deep drive/motivation to improve..

Meeting with my coworker went well. We talked through some processes that she wants changed. She's a supervisor so I have to do it. Even though it makes a lot more work for me!

This is what irritates me though. I have a workplace accommodation where my supervisors are supposed to give me my tasks in writing. Like yes we can do a Zoom call or a Teams meet or whatever, but then afterward, the meeting leader is supposed to follow up with an email for me with my tasks assigned. But this isn't getting followed. It's because of the hallucinations and stuff. Like sometimes I am "in and out" of meetings mentally because other stuff might be going on that is challenging to keep my focus on what all is being said. Plus my ADHD doesn't help.

But this supervisor never follows up with the written tasks even though she was the one that accepted the workplace accommodation in the first place! UGH. Annoying.

Hey everyone, just downloaded some neat software (it's like dictation software, but kind of old-school, yet it's still cool to me).

It technically just allows me to dictate things into a headset on my computer and then I can transcribe them later. I guess it's a writer's dream.

I've been writing a lot lately, including a blog post on metaphysical issues.

I have also been making music a lot lately, which is usually a sign that I'm doing pretty well.

Anyway... Life is pretty good right now for me.

Also, I'm taking modafinil again as per my pdoc's recommendation.

I have been very bored lately though. Oh well...

I've also been thinking, why do people recommend staying off of social media? I don't really understand. It has to do with not "wasting" time, I suppose. But I don't know. Is it really a waste of time?

For some including myself it can get overwhelming sometimes, just the sheer amount of information available and content is just overwhelming, and some of it is anxiety inducing, I think everyone is different though

Also my focus/attention span gets worse the more time I spend online on social media, the constant scrolling, clicking, etc I notice when I spend time away from it and take breakfs from it my focus improves

Yeah I've been experimenting with turning off data on my phone and turning off wifi on my phone, and then disconnecting the internet or just turning off wifi on my computer occasionally. It works. Helps for sure for a minute.

Going to get my flu shot and Covid 4th booster shot in about an hour

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I was running out of abilify, had like two days left of it and was stressed because I thought my refill wasn’t until the 14th. I thought I was gonna have to go almost a week without it and couldn’t figure out why I was out of it. But I called CVS and they said it’s ready to be refilled today.

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I’m going to a local bookstore today. I haven’t been to a bookstore in person in several years. Not sure what I’m getting yet, gonna see what they have. I’m excited

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I figure it might help my anxiety about getting those shots, going to a bookstore directly after that down the street from the pharmacy. Just getting out for a bit

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I worry I'll get sick like I did after the 4th COVID shot. We didn't get the flu shot yet. I think they're waiting for reactions to the COVID shot to show up. You won't die but I'll believe people who say they got sick from one. Last night I slept for 30 hours or more, I just couldn't wake up. I still have a bad headache.

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He won't let you try something else? I hate when they do that.

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Thanks I’m sorry you’re having a bad reaction I just got the shots, just waiting in observation now

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This is what I got at the bookstore. A big drawing guide book, and a Christmas novel. And a metal Vincent Van Gogh bookmark

I got $15 in rewards gift receipt for this purchase and previous purchases I’ve made in previous years, so now I can use the gift receipt towards anything in their store. So it equals $15 in cash, is the same as using cash. It expires sometime in December. Might get my sister and niece their gifts from there for Christmas, they have really awesome stuff. Not just books. Books are amazing too and there’s tons but they have other cool stuff like really nice leather journals, calendars, coloring books, colored pencils, tarot cards, candles, etc.

It’s an independent bookshop, not like Barnes and nobles or those chains.

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