Roll Call 197

Saw my psychiatrist today......was a little frustrating. Feels like he didn't really listen to me. But hard to tell if that's reality or just my insecure/paranoid brain. Oh well, gonna cook spaghetti for dinner.

Still struggling to feel okay. One moment at a time.

I’m doing pretty good. Kind of having a lazy day today. All I really did was laundry. It’s rainy and windy outside.

I’m considering making a Key Lime Pie. I’m gonna attempt to actually make the entire thing. Like the crust, all of it. And put lime zest and thin slices on the edges of it to decorate it. There’s a few things I need to get first though. Like a zester, and a citrus thing that you can use to squeeze all the juice out of a lime or other citrus fruit. And possibly a food processor to make the graham cracker crust. It’s gonna be a challenge. I might not make it until May actually because of the supplies I need to get kind of costs too much to get right away. I can get one thing each month. Zester first, lime juice thing the following month, then the food processor in May then I can do it. Will be a nice summer dessert.

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Making a key lime pie sounds like a pleasurable thing to do, Blue_Bird! Good to have something to look forward to!

So it looks like I can do the zesting with the small hole side of the cheese grater I have. And I can squeeze the limes by hand. So all I will actually need is the food processor and they’re cheaper than I thought, they’re roughly $20, so not bad. I can get one soon and make the key lime pie in time for St. Patrick’s Day next month since the garnish and decoration on it will be green. I asked my sister for alternatives to using getting a zester and a citrus squeezer so I don’t have to waste money on things I’ll use once or twice and that’s it , and she told me those tips so that saves me money.

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Nothing is real

I feel better when afternoon meds kicked in. Sometimes I just go into the most screwed up place, and then come out.

But it's okay.

Glad you feel better, was worried about you

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My anxiety has been through the roof the past few days. I’m trying to limit coffee but it’s hard. Oddly enough the first thing I do when I’m anxious is drink a coffee because it brings me comfort but over time it just increases my overall anxiety. Noises are getting under my skin lately so badly , people talking, doors opening, people’s footsteps. It’s irritating. I have to keep my headphones or earbuds in all the time lately

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Glad you are feeling better now. love you Desoxyn

Yeah, anxiety sucks. I hate it. I've been dealing with it as well. I wonder if you are dealing with a bit of agitation too since the noises have been bothering you? Just a thought. I get that sometimes when I am agitated. It's hard to cope with. Can you color or game for a bit?

Spent some time chatting on the 988 hotline. Probably an hour or so. It was nice to be heard and taken seriously, without the other person freaking out on me. Hopefully that will get me through until my therapy session on Monday. We made a safety plan. So now I just gotta follow it. Easier said than done I suppose. But I am worth trying to do it.

Yeah I tend to get agitated when my anxiety is severe and when I start getting bothered by noises and they feel like they're getting under my skin then I know I'm getting irritable/agitated, etc.

Thank you I ended up praying the Rosary for 20 minutes and that helped a bit. Now I need to find something else to do, I feel too wound up to sit there and color, cause I feel like I'd get frustrated and rip through the paper kind of angrily, if that makes any sense. Coloring helps when I'm anxious but it makes me more agitatated when my anxiety is already at a severe level.

I really need to exercise tomorrow. The only exercise I did this week was the hour yoga class on Wednesday. I do better mentally when I'm physically active. I'm taking a walk to the store tomorrow then afterward getting on the treadmill for 30 minutes.

I might watch something on Netflix possibly or on Amazon Prime

I'm glad you were able to talk to them, that's good

Anyone know any good movies on Netflix currently that they'd recommend?

This really helped: I recommend that you guys watch this (I'm not fully enlightened like Sadhguru, but my intentions are always like him.. to live life joyfully and peacefully, and to spread that, help others awaken.. Not to die on their deathbed, still torturing themselves);

There are interesting movies on Pluto tv, which is free, (and my obsession). There's every kind of show you could want on there. At least 200 channels I think. One of my favorite channels is StandUp which is stand up comedy. If I'm not anxious they can get me to laugh. There's also the Twilight Zone, the Outer Limits, Star Trek, and of course gunsmoke (my addiction). Pluto tv has changed my life for the way better.

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Have you seen Matilda the Musical? I thought it was well done with catchy tunes. Definitely uplifting.

Also Glass Onion is pretty interesting. Knives Out was better but this was still entertaining. A who-dun-it.

Oh wow, that's really cool, just checked it out

Omg I just checked it out, they have an anime all day section with some cool anime

I haven't, thank you, I'll check them out

Will check this out tonight

Angelique, I just watched a really interesting documentary on Pluto TV called Super Volcanoes

Oddly enough focusing on it helped my anxiety even though it was talking about how Yellowstone is overdue to erupt (super volcano), it could be hundreds of years, thousands, who knows. Scientists watch for signs. Reminds you how fragile life is, how it can be gone in a blink of the eye

My mom came home =]

I'm not alone.

I told her that the news doesn't matter to me anymore.

As a kid, I had really bad ADHD. It's like everything was taken from depression.

I get out of it - and I get put down, ignored, made fun of, criticized, rejected - constantly. So it happens again. But I'll keep trying.

How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing and be nothing."