Roll Call 199

MuddyBoots · Apr 24, 2023 at 04:37 AM

Well I really knocked tf out of any hypomania that was brewing last night. Took 10mg of melatonin, 5mg of Zyprexa, and 5mg of Haldol and actually slept through the night, only waking up once. I actually used PRNs as they're prescribed for once. I usually don't think to take them.

Pemi says hi!

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cogladaid · Apr 24, 2023 at 06:45 AM

I bought these instant packages of chia pudding. It’s chia, oat, chocolate, and berry. Just add water and refrigerate.

So I’m having one for breakfast but I haven’t allowed myself to eat breakfast in years so it’s nerve wrecking.

I can do it though. I can. I’m challenging myself.

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Sometimes psychotic · Apr 24, 2023 at 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

Okay, I performed a science experiment on myself, the results are of course inconclusive. Today, in my room, all alone of course, I wore an eye patch on my left eye, to take strain off of it. My left vision is pretty blurry, so I thought those could be what's causing my headaches instead of my moderate low salt. Anyway, no headache today. So... tomorrow I'll call around to get eye exam quotes. I just might have to get glasses. I have health insurance, but of course it doesn't cover vision. So I really have no idea what I'm in store for cost wise.

Do any of you know how much an eye exam costs and a pair of glasses?

Exams are often around $60 glasses are like 2-700 depending on the lenses. If you have a simple prescription you can get your prescription and buy online for typically less than fifty.

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Sometimes psychotic · Apr 24, 2023 at 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I’ve still not heard back from any of the jobs I applied to except McDonald’s scheduled an interview with me for may 11th.

I’m gonna try to get a job in the bookstore though, they don’t have online applications. It’s a local indie bookstore. They said I can come in and fill out an application and speak to a manager whenever I feel like it. So I’m gonna do that at some point this week.

I just want a job idk why people won’t give me a chance , I’m someone that would work hard and always show up, always be on time and do my job.
I just need one place/person to give me a chance to prove myself

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You’ll find the place…personally I think you dodged a bullet with the fast food places though.

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Blue_Bird · Apr 24, 2023 at 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

You’ll find the place…personally I think you dodged a bullet with the fast food places though.

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Yeah I might just cancel the McDonald’s interview. I’m kinda glad I didn’t get hired at BK , it is not my type of environment. I can’t handle that amount of stress. I literally break down

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Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 12:16 PM

We're not supposed to be eating from those.. And the pay is not good (Unless it's a part time thing, then that's less of a problem - But still can be usually stressful for people like us that have to work part time in the first place).

Anyway, sad feelings this morning. I think it's cuz I got out of bed before the stimulant kicks in. Drinking coffee now.

My dad will visit in a few days.. So we'll do some things. I cleaned up my room - Just got to vacuum it today. Then he can stay in my room.

SlumberKitty · Apr 24, 2023 at 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Job 30 26

Okay, I performed a science experiment on myself, the results are of course inconclusive. Today, in my room, all alone of course, I wore an eye patch on my left eye, to take strain off of it. My left vision is pretty blurry, so I thought those could be what's causing my headaches instead of my moderate low salt. Anyway, no headache today. So... tomorrow I'll call around to get eye exam quotes. I just might have to get glasses. I have health insurance, but of course it doesn't cover vision. So I really have no idea what I'm in store for cost wise.

Do any of you know how much an eye exam costs and a pair of glasses?

It costs me about $300 with exam. Depends on how much you want to spend on the frames and the lenses. Like I need the anti-glare lenses so it costs a bit more, but since I work on the computer all the time, it's necessary.

SlumberKitty · Apr 24, 2023 at 02:21 PM

Suicidal thoughts are better--not gone--but better. But stupid self harm thoughts increased 100 fold. I feel like I am constantly managing symptoms which impair my living a good, fulfilling life, and since I mostly don't know what to do about them, I just try to hang in there until they pass, which kind of works, but only for so long. At least the psychosis has been good lately. Still supposed to start a new antidepressant. Waiting to hear from my insurance if they will approve it. Don't know why it is taking so long.

SlumberKitty · Apr 24, 2023 at 02:23 PM

My therapist is still on vacation. She's back on the 26th and my appointment is the 28th so it's coming. Just not fast enough.

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 02:56 PM

I want 2 appreciate more beautiful things and experiences

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 03:01 PM

It's possible to mostly overcome schiz or w/e the hell I have. Some days = Good. Other = Bad. But that's okay... I think.. Yes, I know..

Edit: We're in a net. And anyone has access to what everyone else does or doesn't want - With acceptance of their current moment in the now. That is all.

Can ddoooo.. anything.. we set our minds to. Water the plant.. Feed the wolf.. It will be your friend.

SlumberKitty · Apr 24, 2023 at 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I want 2 appreciate more beautiful things and experiences

me too.........

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

me too.........

Hugs SK <3 You're a very good person and will achieve great things.

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 03:19 PM

What ever I did... made me able to use 5mg of olanzepine (Instead of 10mg), for well over a month.. I think it could be not drinking alcohol for 3-4 months.

I will never drink alcohol again.. (At least I'll try not to).

All of the horrifying type of DPDR is gone. And I haven't had psychosis is a really long time.

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 04:29 PM

I don't get stimulant crashes. I wonder why.

Desoxyn · Apr 24, 2023 at 06:01 PM

And also don't know how I'm so calm, based on how good I feel. It's a strange problem that I want to fix.

I'm just normal, and I see the world.. "How can people be so unstable?".. At least I should be able to DO THINGS, and make some sort of plan to get somewhere, about it all..

And the flames of things burning, I see it.. and think "Well what's the point?". It's also another huge problem for me.

It's like I've settled into eventually dying, and going to some insane afterlife. I don't wake up from this dream.. Like what is next, is just.. More advanced insanity... The logical thing would be to just disconnect from everything, like how people say they'll "Live in the woods" - I thought (About that), "Why would someone live the rest of their life so under stimulated" - And the answer? Spirituality.. That most people that are awake/aware of the nonsense, they're just doing w/e here, and wait for the clock to run out, and then will decide what to do on the other side..

MuddyBoots · Apr 25, 2023 at 05:30 AM

Waterfall hike yesterday was fun!
Roll Call 199

Today my appointment with my peer specialist is early so after I'm going to go to the rail trail for a run. I'm not sure how I feel about my peer support specialist. She seems to be very "what works for me should work for everyone."

Blue_Bird · Apr 25, 2023 at 08:07 AM

Volunteer shift at petsmart today.

I signed up to donate blood tomorrow

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Blue_Bird · Apr 25, 2023 at 10:03 AM

I have an interview at the grocery store on Friday

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Blue_Bird · Apr 25, 2023 at 12:38 PM

I’m getting sick or something. I have a bad cough and am exhausted

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Roll Call 199

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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,569 8	Apr 24, 2023 at 06:45 AM #282 I bought these instant packages of chia pudding. It’s chia, oat, chocolate, and berry. Just add water and refrigerate. So I’m having one for breakfast but I haven’t allowed myself to eat breakfast in years so it’s nerve wrecking. I can do it though. I can. I’m challenging myself. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Apr 24, 2023 at 02:23 PM #289 My therapist is still on vacation. She's back on the 26th and my appointment is the 28th so it's coming. Just not fast enough. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	Apr 24, 2023 at 02:56 PM #290 I want 2 appreciate more beautiful things and experiences

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	Apr 24, 2023 at 03:19 PM #294 What ever I did... made me able to use 5mg of olanzepine (Instead of 10mg), for well over a month.. I think it could be not drinking alcohol for 3-4 months. I will never drink alcohol again.. (At least I'll try not to). All of the horrifying type of DPDR is gone. And I haven't had psychosis is a really long time.

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,023 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,928 hugs given	Apr 24, 2023 at 04:29 PM #295 I don't get stimulant crashes. I wonder why.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,912 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Apr 25, 2023 at 08:07 AM #298 Volunteer shift at petsmart today. I signed up to donate blood tomorrow Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,912 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Apr 25, 2023 at 10:03 AM #299 I have an interview at the grocery store on Friday Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,912 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Apr 25, 2023 at 12:38 PM #300 I’m getting sick or something. I have a bad cough and am exhausted Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi