Roll Call 202

so that’s why they were around for awhile asking questions

I'm sorry, Blue_Bird.

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Hugs……….

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I'm sorry BB..

That's very dark..

My new phone is incompatible with my carrier. I don't think I can send it back. I'll have to order a phone from my carrier. I'm very depressed. I should have found stuff out first, not last.

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I did, just not organized. The phone is listed as compatible with the carrier in more than two spots. I thought the carrier version was sold out, so I went ahead and ordered it from the manufacturer. But now when I type in the IMEI number it says incompatible.

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Doing good.

Some days I sink to suicidal lows.

I can not stop, the time waves.. that flash through us all.. Changing.. Morphing.. Reflecting.. Radiating.. Vibrating..

It's unfortunate. And fortunate (:

Good morning. Up doing laundry. I slept good. Just waiting for it to finish in the dryer then taking a walk to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Playing pokemon go while I’m out since it motivates me to walk more. Also taking another walk later during the afternoon, to the library to return some books. So gonna bring my phone and my pokemon go plus plus device with me while I’m out on both walks so I can auto catch pokemon and my steps can hatch the pokemon eggs in my storage. Pokémon go is the only thing that is really motivating me to walk especially since it’s winter. It’s a good game/app for that. I walk a lot more with it.

There’s juice day in the community room this afternoon. So they make fresh juice with an actual juicer. So I’m gonna go down and get one later when they do that.

Got over 5,000 steps already and it’s only 10am at the moment and I still have one more walk to take in the afternoon. I’ve also been reorganizing my apartment and cleaning. I really need to thoroughly clean the bathroom and kitchen. I’m working my way up to that. Goal is to have it done by this weekend. I’m starting with smaller stuff to build momentum /motivation. First step was getting all the trash and boxes out of my apartment. I cleaned/ changed the litterbox. Put my laundry away. I also washed the couch and chair covers last night so I put those back on finally. I made my bed. Got rid of the old leftovers in The fridge. Put away the dishes. My goal is to replace all the furniture that came with the apartment with my own new stuff by 2025. I basically need to get a new mattress, good new pillows, a nice fabric futon/couch, a cozy armchair with a footrest , a small book case, 2-3 more lamps (2 floor lamps and one more table lamp), and a ottoman for storage. I’ll keep the table that came with the apartment. And I have my own coffee table I bought myself already. I’ll keep the entertainment center and TV for now (someday will replace the tv with a bigger one of my own, and the side tables and lamps that came with the apartment. Someday I’ll also get a computer/gaming chair. But that will be in the future. But the first things I mentioned I want to have by 2025. I’ll be able to afford them by then. I want my apartment to be awesome and nice looking and relaxing and cozy

Got my free hp instant ink for my printer and free paper. It automatically detects when it’s running low on ink and automatically ships out ink when it does that. I don’t even have to do anything. I get this for 3 whole months which is crazy good deal. Completely free. All I spent was $50 on the printer/scanner. I’m obviously gonna pay for ink and paper when my free trial stops but it’s still a really good deal to start out with and it’s not as overly expensive even when I do start paying for it. It’s really convenient. The stuff just shows up and I don’t even have to think about it. Idk I’m just blown away by how cool technology is sometimes.

I started out the day feeling really good, now I feel really irritable, on the verge of crying for no reason, on the verge of panic, and feeling paranoid and am not sure why

Mixed episode?

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I woke up today feeling like garbage. My whole body is aching, I’m exhausted even though I slept a ton, keep falling back asleep. Now I have a cough starting and a headache. I’m about to take some ibuprofen to see if it helps any of it

SP, Idk , I’m not sure if I’ve ever had one

I had plans today but I think I’m just gonna rest for the most part.

Hoping you feel better very soon.

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Telling my psychiatrist I want to grow poppies cuz I lost hope and my life has been a dangerous beauty. I want Indian children to laugh and smile while counting numbers that they've learned in school out loud and looking into my burning skull.

Still feeling like crap. So freaking achy. Like my whole body hurts. And I’m exhausted and cold. And coughing. Definitely feels like the flu. Hoping I feel better by next week.

I changed my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to a phone appointment instead of in person. Since I’m sick I’m not gonna feel up to walking there and I wouldn’t want to get people sick anyway.

That should be a hug, Blue_Bird.

I finally started setting up my new phone. It's a pita. I love the finish on it. It glows.

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I missed the Roll Call 200

Spent all night sweating and freezing with a fever. Still exhausted. No energy. Entire body aches. Coughing. Feel horrible. Sorry for complaining. I never get sick. Rarely ever. This is the 2nd time I’ve been sick in 5 years. And this is the worst. So it sucks.

Had my phone appointment with my psychiatrist. It went well. He’s gonna sign the paperwork for me to be my own payee.

He’s leaving though. He’s only been there for 6 months. But he said the person I’m being transferred to is there long term. So this won’t happen again where I see someone for just 6 months then they leave. So that’s good. I’m nervous about meeting another psychiatrist though. I hate going over my entire life history in the hour long in person first appointment. Like idk what to say. Anyway, I see this new psychiatrist in mid February.

Turns out I have Covid

Oh noooo! Feel better.

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Thank you, I hope it doesn’t last too long. This is the first time I’ve had it.

I cancelled my plans for the next several days so I can focus on resting, I want to be doing stuff but I don’t have the energy to do anything