Roll Call 202

I’m exhausted. Still up from yesterday morning. I just took my night meds even though it’s only going on 6pm. I need to sleep a solid 12 hours tonight

I found a bunch of new to me music on Spotifyand I’m just in a whole mood right now feeling exhausted but really good at the same time cause the music sounds so damn good right now idk if I’m hypomanic or what, but I’ve been feeling euphoric and its inspiring me with my own music. Something about when I’m hypomanic or manic music sounds almost ethereal in its intensity of how good it is

Trying to not impulse spend on **** I don’t need

I slept for 12 hours last night after only sleeping for 3 1/2 hours total in over 72 hours straight

Going to the hobbit hole wreath making event at the library tomorrow.

I feel good since I slept a lot, I definitely needed it.

I need to write more. Even though I write 750 words per day I feel like I need to write a novel or something...

Still feeling euphoric! But well rested so that’s good

Starting to plan out some of the details of my trip to spend a week with my bf in a couple months. We’re gonna try to find an airline that excepts ESAs cause my cats are ESAs and I’d like to bring Mocha with me on the flight. Mustachio I’m leaving home because she doesn’t do well with change or going places she gets really angry if you try to put her in a carrier. Mocha is really chill he doesn’t mind at all. So I’m likely gonna leave Mustachio home and set her up with enough food and water and whatnot and have a neighbor check on her if I need to while I’m gone. Plus having one of my cats with me on the flight will help my anxiety a lot. I haven’t flown since I was 12 and it was only one time. From Virginia to Florida and then back to Virginia. Almost all of my traveling has been by greyhound bus, train, or car.

But yeah this would be a flight from NY to Lexington KY so I’m not sure how long of a flight that would be. But yeah planes make me nervous. I know logically that they’re safer than cars but still, I’m not used to them.

I still have to get a suitcase and a carry on bag and an airline approved pet carrier. My bf is gonna get cat food and litter and a littlerbox for mocha while I’m there. He’s probably just gonna keep the cat food and stuff there cause we’ll be visiting eachother back and forth. So some stuff we’re just gonna start leaving at each others place to make things simpler.

I walked downtown to the library today. Got some books and spent some time there. I created a resume so I’m hoping that helps with getting me a job. I’ve never used one before.

Anyway, I realize that the stress of working is outweighed by the anxiety and paranoia and dissociation when I’m stuck at home all the time doing nothing so I am trying to find something part time.

I have Covid. Apparently it's not too severe since my lungs were completely clear at the medical center. They did some sort of radiology test and it ended up that my lungs were completely fine. And my lungs didn't sound bad either to the doctor. And I didn't have a fever (which was weird because I could have sworn I had a fever). And so I just have to basically chill for 5 days and take Tylenol for 3 of those 5 days. Then wear a mask for 5 days after that.

Feel better!

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Thanks!!!!

Hope you feel better WA. Having Covid is miserable

My bf got me a cordless drill set and a damaged screw extractor kit for like DIY stuff and whatnot. I love the color of the drill. I feel like bob the builder now lol

I have no idea what to do with my life. I have nothing to say anymore.

Maybe I need the Invega Trinza injection? (I was supposed to get it today, but I'm getting it on the 20th).

Does it actually help with negative symptoms?

I was freaking out cuz I have nothing planned.. I don't know what to do..

I was advised to practice gratitude.. I forgot - Idk.. I'm just... Waiting for something to happen. I feel way too calm,

like there's nothing going on in my head.

I went ahead and got the exact precision screwdriver computer repair kit my bf recommended. It was on $16 and has pretty much everything you need. It’s also like good for other types of repairs like eyeglasses, watches, furniture etc. So I’m all set for any kind of basic computer stuff like battery changes or upgrading ram and whatnot. Also got a tripod to make our video chats easier when we’re playing trading card games together over video chat. He’s gonna get one too. That way we can like angle our phones down to the table for when we’re playing games hands free.

I’ll be able to get the replacement battery for my laptop soon. It’s doing great with the ram upgrade.

I’m doing pretty good, the days have been going by super quickly cause I’m preoccupied by my hobbies and projects. And then on weekends I spend more time with my bf because he doesn’t work on weekends and his schedule is like 3:30pm to 2am on weekdays so it’s kinda hard for us to spend much time together during the week because of that since he sleeps till around 12pm before he gets up for work and I’m usually asleep once he gets off but eventually he’s hoping to get back on first shift once he’s in the union. He’s buying his car tomorrow. We still call eachother everyday though and can occasionally squeeze in a couple episodes of Naruto over FaceTime SharePlay throughout the weekdays when there’s time.

Yesterday we watched some of the lord of the rings and we played a game of yugioh since he was off. But yeah things are going well. I’m shocked I’ve been in a relationship for an entire year. That’s like unbelievable to me. I’d never thought I’d be able to be in a healthy relationship and I sure as heck never thought I’d be in one that would last this long. I can’t wait to go down there and see him in person again. It’s been 10 years since we’ve seen eachother in person which was when we last dated.

I’m working on getting a job. I’m not in a rush but I am putting out applications regularly and did make a resume finally. So yeah maybe I’ll hear something.

But yeah. Doing this 101 classical piece violin challenge where I post a video once or twice a week on Facebook on a simplified version of classical pieces, and am aiming to actually do the entire 101 songs from a classical songbook I got for violin. The goal is to complete it in a year but if it takes me a little longer that’s okay I just want to be consistent with it and get it done roughly around that time. Just for practice really and to work on technique with the bow and whatnot. I put in my posting schedule on my planner app. I have Tuesdays and Fridays scheduled for video postings on Facebook every week. So hoping to get two videos posted every week of a different classical piece.

Invega helped me a lot when I was on it but I feel like for negative type symptoms the abilify I’m on works better for me in that aspect. I’m a lot more passionate I guess about my hobbies and motivated to do things. But I’m on some other meds too. I think I recall you having a bad experience with abilify though? I’m not sure I could be confusing it with something else.

I have a job interview today (well yeah technically today) cause it’s after midnight already. My interview is at 7:45am. If I get it I’ll be working inside in a garden and lawn center

So the interview went well. The guy who interviewed me said he just has to discuss it with the person who is in charge of the department I applied for and I should hear by this afternoon. He also said that the interview went well

I stumbled a bit on the last two questions but I think I presented well overall.

And it was a very in depth interview so I kind of feel like they actually go more in depth when you’re actually being considered. They told me a lot about the company. Hopefully that’s a good sign.

Good luck!!!!

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Now the really hard part, waiting. They said this afternoon. And only 9:30am right now. Just waiting on that phone call. If it comes lol

Waiting …………

Ughhhh this sucks. It’s been 27 hours without sleep and I can not focus on anything enough to distract me and pass the time cause I’m too paranoid I’ll miss a call

I just want to sleep but I have to sit here glued to my phone the next 5-6 hours