[LixTetrax1397]

i'm a junior in high school, and about in the beginning of my sophomore year my life drastically fell into depression really fast and stress became a really big problem. Probably began last October. I started isolating myself and stopped talking to a lot of my friends and staying indoors most of the time not even doing any of my homework assignments. i ended getting straight "F"s my first semester I couldn't even find a motivation to do anytihng and i felt hopeless about life. I spent more time home alone not going out with my family or friends and then i started to get scared about things while i was home alone like people breaking into my house and sometimes I'd run into my breakyard checking every hiding place i can think of to find someone while i would carry a weapon or broomstick. At school I had harder times with interactions with people, I started stumbling my words when i talked, i grew scared of everyone in many ways, sometimes I'd end up screaming at people for no apparent reason and my speech often worried them too. I started getting worse and after time I couldn't even interact with my parents. It's still the same sometimes only respond them with smal. l replies like "no" or "i dunno" or "cuz i felt like it". I started school at a new place to get away from everyone at my older school. I actually calmed down a bit more at this school and don't feel paranoid and nervous as much as i did. I still have problems meeting people and i can go nights without brushing my teeth even though i still do my hair. I don't really care much about making friends as long as they leave me alone. My doctor prescribed me anxiety medication which didn't actually help because I found myself getting angry at inanimate objects in my classroom like a tree or something and seeing farm animals dance in a silhouette tree. Televisions and the internet have subliminal messaged and the government is watching my internet profile and have pictures of my parents. I don't like being touched because it makes me very mad and when i walk alone in the school library people whisper my name into my ear even though there isn't anybody. I talk my thoughts outloud sometimes and sometimes repeat swear words outloud when i try to go to bed. I often wake up because people are screaming into my ears in the morning in a different language and they go away once i'm sitting up. I have dreams that the saints are telling me to murder the "police race". I can sometimes see zombies swimming on my roof sometimes. my parents get mad at me because sometimes i uncontrollably run around the house like if i'm chasing the white rabbit yelling silly nothings. I can sometimes see a man peeking at me through the window on my front door.

[krzyk101]

Hi, and Welcome,

It sounds like you are going through alot for someone your age. These things or experiences can and are for me very bothersome.

You said that your Doctor gave you medicine for anxiety? Was this a General Practicioner or a Psychiatrist.

From your post many things I can relate to and so many different things or diagnosis could be made from your experiences other than Schizophrenia as I was once diagnosed with only now I am diagnosed with Bipolar type 1.

I would suggest since all of the different symptoms you shared that if you could see a Qualified Therapist who could assist you and help you work with a Psychiatrist for a Psych evaluation to determine what is causing you to experience these things so disturbing to you, and possibly find the medication that could reduce the symptoms you are having.

I do want you to know that none of the things you said you go through as far as chasing things around the house and dancing on the roof did not make me laugh as some might find funny or laugh, as I know how scary and disturbing these things are, and how people are quick to laugh and poke fun at such things only it is real to you and not funny at all.

I am glad you came here for support and do hope you will talk to your parents about Therapy or help.

You have taken a big step in that direction by posting your story on here and seeking support.

I recall once when I was younger and going through this on a pass to my families home and I was having a conversation on my moms couch and sitting there talking away and when she came in she wanted to know "what in the world was I doing?" It was then I realized I was not talking into the phone, only was holding the Television Remote control like a phone and having a telephone conversation with the remote control.

So you are not alone in this and I hope things look up and get better for you and take care.

[ktp]

Hi hon.

You're definitely not alone. I feel for you, I really do.

Alot of your story reminds me of my brother's story. He was age 15 when he was diagnosed as schizophrenic. You definitely need to be checked out by a qualified professional.

My cousin is bipolar and has alot of the symptoms you describe, it'll take someone who knows what they're talking about to be able to treat you.

What anxiety meds are you taking? My brother's pdoc told us that Xanax is the worst thing for a schizophrenic. That was his opinion though, but if it's not doing any good, it's time for a change.

Please do what you need to do to make yourself safe.

Take Care,
Kimberly.

[vulnerome]

Hey Babes. You sound a lot like me, but for the fact that our hallucinations are different & I am inclined to sit dead still for ages where you run around "chasing the white rabbit". Oh, and I am 10 years older. The only diagnosis I ever got was a "I don't think (italicised) you are schizpohrenic".

What you are going through could be schizophrenia, but it could also be BP1 as kryzykris pointed out, or even severe depression.

Do seek medical advice & try to remember that the hallucinations are not real - try to view them as an interesting phenomenon & not to fall into wonderland.

*big hugs*

Irene

[todd]

I started having same problem at your age been hospital 3 times then my parents got court order to let me take my GED and now I am 20 years old and trying to complete college.so hang in there you do fine.

[Maya]

The most important thing is to get to a qualified therapist or psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment. I feel for you - my mother was schizophrenic from the age of around 16 and I know how miserable she was when she was not on medication. Please, please, get to a qualified doctor and get the help you need to lead a life you can enjoy.

[krzyk101]

Hello, Its me again.

Just was checking your post to see if you have been around, and am hoping things are getting better for you and your situatuation.

Hang in there and do hope you have gotten some help and things are going better for you now.

Peace - KrzyKris

[Malady156]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Televisions and the internet have subliminal messages

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Actually, they do. I don't know what the content of your concept of these messages are so I cannot say for sure whether this is hallucination/delusion on your part or whether you are perceiving the actual fact, but I can vouch for the presence of subliminal messages themselves, they are real. (Whether the ones YOU see/perceive are reality is not for me to say.)

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I have dreams that the saints are telling me to murder the "police race".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This actually has factual spiritual content. It is an apocalyptic message, but your perception of it seems garbled. It may be a precursor to deeper revelation if you're open to it. (If not, I apologize profusely if it seems like I'm being intrusive or in any way making you uncomfortable.)

The confusing thing about these two items is all the symptoms of psychosis you are experiencing along with them. There are those out there who do NOT want you to know this stuff and they would be only TOO happy for you to just mix it in with psychosis and chalk it up to more psychotic symptoms.