[RomanSunburn]

I'm avoiding working on a paper that is due tomorrow. But at the same time, I think I'm a little hung up on some emotional baggage related to this paper and another one I recently got back in a different class. For the paper due tomorrow we had to turn in a rough draft about two weeks ago. We also had to meet with a writing tutor to go over our rough draft. I really didn't like the writing tutor. She seems fairly irresponsible. So I thought I would meet with the professor for help on my paper. That went horrible. I loved this professor, I loved the class. But after meeting with her... I felt... like everything came out wrong and that now she probably thinks completely different of me, which I'm getting stuck on. I'm worried she thinks I was too judgement of my writing tutor, but I honestly didn't feel like the writing tutor pushed my writing at all. I didn't feel like she had anything constructive to say that I didn't already have in mind, not to mention I felt like I had to lead the conversation... which... when you're looking for general guidance... isn't always helpful. I also don't feel like a writing tutor should tell you to do anything, and I felt like she told me to leave stuff out... Didn't pose it as a question... "Do you think you should leave that out because of the level of relevancy to your thesis?" I mean, I suppose she did ask a question, and I was already biased against her (what kind of writing tutor loses your paper?), and I just didn't hear it. I had been really, really looking forward to working with the tutors, especially since at my last school I wanted to become one and had taken one of the two courses required but then left the school... But when meeting with my professor, I felt like she didn't see anything wrong with the writing tutor and it was all my prejudices. But I still feel I had valid opinions that I probably didn't voice properly with my professor. I'm struggling with this. I feel ill equipped to write my paper now. Not to mention, I got a paper back from other class today and didn't do as well as I had hoped, and I put a lot of work into that one and had a successful meeting with the TA for that class... Soo.... If I have a good meeting about my writing and still can't do well, what's going to happen with a bad meeting...?

Bah.. Sorry for the rambling.. But I was hoping if I just got all of this out, I'd feel better and maybe be able to start writing. It's not so much writer's block as just feeling a little stuck and on the verge of despairing... I haven't talked to anyone about it because, well, I figured actually talking about this with someone would cause me to get emotional and then really mess up my head.... Okay, going to try to write now. Please don't be too harsh in your responses, I'm a little fragile at the moment...

Thanks all

[ebatts]

I used to have worries like that too. Some professors can be a little biased because they may be friends with or personally know other faculty. It's not your fault at all. If you'd like, I could review your paper for you.

[distantfuego]

I see this post is a bit old. I hope your paper went well.

Eh, lots of tutors have no idea what the heck they're talking about anyway. I really do feel sorry for you and I've had a hard time when professors give me poor grades. I hope everything goes okay for you.

[Perna]

Roman, how'd it go? Did you get something finished okay?

[RomanSunburn]

Well, the paper went okay, I guess. I spent the rest of the night writing for a couple hours, then sleeping for a couple hours, then writing, and so on. I got a 91 on the paper. I think venting did help a little.

I'm starting to have trouble with school, though. I just have too much on my plate. My wedding is in less than 3 months and on the east coast (I live in the midwest) so that's adding a lot of stress. Plus school full time and working. Not to mention my fiance and I aren't really in a healthy place right now because we're both really, really stressed (wedding, he's also in school and working, and we're worried about money, not to mention our lease is up the same month we're getting married and we want to move closer to where our schools are). It's all getting to be too much, but I can't cut anything out, so I'm getting very, very drained and not sure how to stay focused on school as a whole. I honestly just need a break, but my spring break is going to be all wedding stuff... Just like Christmas, and the last time I went to visit my parents in September.... It's too late to drop classes, and I know once I get the wedding taken care of, things will be a lot better. But right now... everything is so hard.

Sorry this turned into a rant about things other than school, but I"m really, really struggling with all of it right now and it all feels so entwined, and like I can't get out.

[ebatts]

Whenever I get stressed I light some incense. Have you ever tried that?

[Fresia]

Congratulations on the paper!

When there is there is so much on my plate and I get really wrapped up in things, I have a hard time focusing. As hard as it is with SO much going on and it seems contrary, but it is so important to make some time for ourselves. I don't know if you are already doing this but please consider it if not. Whatever that might mean for you, but for example for me it is: baths, walks/runs, listening to music, read a novel, to make a nice meal, a movie, something with my partner, etc... Even if it is just a few stolen minutes here and there, but to take the time. I have to do this because in not taking the time to decompress, it makes things worse. It is actually proven to help by giving yourself some time away from things: it can improve your ability to focus when you come back to it, decreases stress levels, and increases productivity.

As I mentioned, you may already be doing this but in case not, please consider it. With so much on our plates, I know how easy we can overlook ourselves in the process. Please take good care. Sending the best of wishes and hang in there.

[RomanSunburn]

I've never thought about burning incense because my dad has really bad asthma (to the point where he'd start wheezing if we brought it in the house). I do like candles; maybe I should try burning them more often, see if that helps. Thanks for the tip!

Fresia, I definitely need to take more time to myself. I'm thinking maybe folding laundry and chatting on PC is what I need right when I get home before I start doing homework. It probably doesn't sound like I'm really taking time to myself, but honestly, I'm not sure I'm at a place where I wouldn't feel guilty if I wasn't multitasking and doing something slightly productive. Thanks for the tip, though, I'll try to keep it in mind (and hopefully start spending more time with my fiance, that would be a plus!)

Thanks everyone!

[Perna]

I don't know what you have planned for the wedding but it sounds like it might be too much if you are both stressed about it? Can you let others do some? My maid of honor bought the wedding cake as her gift to us, for example; she was in the baking business and knew someone who made cakes so we went together one morning and picked something out of the baker's portfolio and that's all I had to do about that :-) I was fortunate because my stepmother was über-controlling and did not let me do anything, including pick out my dress. She was stressed, I was not

[RomanSunburn]

I think the main reason the wedding is stressful is because I'm planning it from a different time zone. I live in the midwest with my fiance, and the wedding is in New England. He tries to help where he can, but it's really hard when you're working or in school when businesses are generally open. My mom works a lot too, so she helps when she can, but isn't that often. My bridesmaids are completely scattered. One in Ohio, one in Wisconsin, one in NJ, one in NY, one in a different part of NY (neither of them have cars), and one in Massachusetts.

The last big thing we have to do is the invitations, which I'm working on with my cousin (who is also a bridesmaid). When I go back to New England for spring break, her, my sister, my mom, and I are all going to work on the invitations and get them done. After that, everything else will just be details. Hopefully the load will get a lot lighter at that point (though school will probably be getting more difficult).

I think part of my problem is that I think I might be anemic again. I know I'm prone to it, and have taken iron pills twice in the past for it. So I think I've just been exhausted both mentally and physically. I've started taking all my vitamins again, and I think once they kick in, I'll be feeling a lot better.

I think the reason the wedding is stressing my fiance out is only because it's stressing me out, lol.

(Can you tell I'm feeling a lot better today..?)

Thanks for the suggestion, though! I wish I had someone in my family that baked, that'd be amazing! My future mother in law hasn't really even stated an opinion on anything, not even my dress when I showed it to her! And my mom is just plain too busy, lol. Thanks again, though

[CWC3]

Roman, take it all one at a time. Doing a million things at once just isn't sustainable, and it's really really important to seek support when times are tough. Props for asking for support here .