[cmh141]

I'm a sophomore in college. Lately, I've been seriously struggling with my self esteem and self worth...I've sought out pain and degradation in a sexual manner, I've cut myself...I'm seeing a therapist for the first time tomorrow and although I plan on telling them everything I've been going through, I'm quite nervous and embarrassed.

Anyway, recently I haven't been able to focus on school at all. I don't know what to do. I know I should be getting better grades, and I know the fact that I'm doing so poorly is my own fault. I just don't know how to get my motivation back. I feel absolutely no urge or pressure to do my work. More than anything, I want to go home and take some time off. But I feel like that's not possible, seeing as I've already placed a deposit for housing next year and my parents are paying a lot of money for me to get through school. How can I get my motivation back? Is it possible to even bounce back this late in the year???

[adam_k]

The semester isnt over yet. Just try to focus on going to classes and doing the work. I make a list of everything I need to get done per week and do everything on the list. That why even when Im depressed, i know what needs to get done and I push myself to accomplish it.

I'm glad your seeing a therapist, especially since you are self harming. I used to do that, but I got help and found better ways to cope. My therapist was non judgemental about it, and she understood why I did it. She helped me learn how to face the things that were bothering me, instead of me hurting myself to cope. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to message me. I find it helps if I talk about what is bothering me and work it out with someone else. I hope find support here, and I hope therapy works out for you.

[kptclutch]

Hey,

I just pulled out of an identical slump last week. It was like I never even started the semester until last Sunday. The feelings seemed to get worse each and every day, which caused the quality of my school work to worsen each day as well.

A friend mentioned scheduling out my week every Sunday night. The schedule included all assignments, including readings that needed to be done. He also said to try and NOT think about how much I had to do throughout the semester or what I had already failed....to work in the moment and prioritize assignments by due date.

My productivity has exploded and I feel alive again! I coupled this tactic with exercise to help me focus.

It's great that your going to a therapist, they may help you with self-worth issues (although you definitely are worth a lot....you wouldn't care about your education otherwise). But breaking down your work (google WBS....work breakdown structure) will certainly help you focus on your objectives.

I hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions, and good luck with recovery

[cmh141]

Thank you both very much for your responses!!! It's nice to have support from those who understand what it feels like. I'm still struggling but I'm seeing my therapist today for the first time so hopefully I won't be too embarrassed to be honest and receive the help I need to move on.

[jerigoli]

First, understand that you are not alone. Many of us are or have experienced what you are going through at the moment. It is great that you are seeking therapy....and don't be embarrassed or afraid. We seek medical help when we are ill with a medical condition and this is no different. Hopefully, your therapist uses Cognitive Therapy as it appears than your thoughts (most distorted) are affecting how you feel...you have taken the first step and although it is a cliche, take one day at a time..."baby steps".

I am a grad student working on my Masters in Counseling....58 years old and believe me, I have gone through anxiety, obsessions, depression and lack of motivation ....so there is a light at the end...take the first step, seek support and you will prosper...best of luck.

Originally Posted by cmh141

I'm a sophomore in college. Lately, I've been seriously struggling with my self esteem and self worth...I've sought out pain and degradation in a sexual manner, I've cut myself...I'm seeing a therapist for the first time tomorrow and although I plan on telling them everything I've been going through, I'm quite nervous and embarrassed.

Anyway, recently I haven't been able to focus on school at all. I don't know what to do. I know I should be getting better grades, and I know the fact that I'm doing so poorly is my own fault. I just don't know how to get my motivation back. I feel absolutely no urge or pressure to do my work. More than anything, I want to go home and take some time off. But I feel like that's not possible, seeing as I've already placed a deposit for housing next year and my parents are paying a lot of money for me to get through school. How can I get my motivation back? Is it possible to even bounce back this late in the year???

[kptclutch]

Try not to feel embarrassed. Everyone, even those who don't express it, have issues in life. Sooner or later, be it from a friend or professional, we'll need help.

You'll bounce back and knock it all out! Good luck w midterms btw....mine are looking quite rough.

[lonelyemotionalgirl]

College is tough, and it is hard to stay motivated. I am losing focus right now as well, and it is hard for me to complete assignments, focus in class, or even get out of bed. I keep telling myself to keep getting through it, because hopefully the future will be better. I do not know how to help you to be motivated, but definitely try your best to get back on track because the semester will be over soon! And never be embarrassed about having a therapist, because he or she is going to really help you. And I know you may feel worthless, and you may feel like nobody cares about you, but there are many people on here that do care about you. I care about you. I know that there are not many people around me who care, but there are many great people on here who have helped me so much already. I am always here if you need to talk to someone.

[RJ78]

Hi CMH,

How did your appointment with your therapist go? I'm a university professor and I can assure you that it's very possible to bounce back at this point in the term, mostly because I have 3 students who haven't even come to class yet this term because of mental health illnesses and who I'm now currently supporting to get back on track. Please don't hesitate to visit the office or centre where they provide students with letters of accommodation to take to their professors, this could be a way to approach the issue in the hopes of mitigating any anxiety.

Good luck,

RJ

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by jerigoli

I am a grad student working on my Masters in Counseling....58 years old and ...

It would be interesting to have a group chat with mature students on here. Seems to be quite a few of us.