Jealously

For a very long time I have been very jealous of my cousins doing well at school, moving on to college and then uni and fact they have jobs. I am extremely jealous of my friend heather who is in her second year of uni.

They have had things straight forward and my life ha practically gone down the toilet overnight, I have lost so much that I can't see any reason to stay alive right now.

I am also triggered by people having jobs, going to college in my home town and I feel like left out. I have no social life whatsoever, no job, getting a job is more hard on my emotions and I have had enough.

No one is helping me
Please help me!


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V
M. Md

There's nothing in my life worth fighting for I'm giving up

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V
M. Md

Nightworld, I hope you call a suicide prevention hot line and get the help you need.

I have tried to no one is helping me

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V
M. Md

How can I cope with jealously

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V
M. Md

You don't need to cope you can get rid of it. Just because your going to school and getting good grades doesn't guarantee you'll have a good job and have a good life. Don't be jealous of them because you don't know what they've been through and what they will go through.
I don't care what you think you are here for a reason and no matter how bad you may feel you need to know that there are people out there who love you and would be devastated if you ever committed suicide. Tell someone how your feeling so they can help you.

We are not all on the same path. You may go to school, have a job, etc. later if you want, we don't know what we may be doing in the future, we can only work with now toward what we think we want then. Right now you may want to find a therapist, work on some of your emotional problems? Can you take a course of study online if you are interested in school? I got a regular degree in college and then another one, online, 35 years later. Work to concentrate on what you would like to do rather than what other people are doing and you won't have time or interest in being jealous, it won't "make sense" to be.

I have tried to not be jealous of friends and cousins but it's constantly in my face and it's like stubbing my own foot. I can't escape from it so I want out as I have had enough.
Tried prevention lines but all they seem to do is counsel me, no practical advice, cpn is useless and doesn't really help and crisis don't help they just say it's chronic issue I am dealing with and it just makes things a lot worse my parents can rather 50/50 they are like have you found a job get and seem to think it's all black and white so I feel lost and nowhere to turn and I feel like I am a burden on everyone and really I can't cope I'm overwhelmed emotionally exhausted and had enough

Nightworld1066

Hi Nightworld1066. I really hope you can get over this. Comparing yourself to others is dragging you down, and that's not going to get you in shape for life. I can't say I know, but it sounds like your parents just want you to have a job to be self-sufficient and happy. I personally don't like taking help from others, but I have relied on others for things, and everyone does sometimes. You sound like someone who doesn't like taking help from others, and that's really respectable, although it's hard on yourself. It's really the only thing to do once and awhile. Many people struggle these days, and its understandable. Believe it or not, taking advantage of that help is best for both you and the person helping. If you didn't receive that help, than you may be in a worse place and that person may be so much more upset otherwise. It's for the best to take help when needed.

Also, when comparing yourself, you say that you know people who have gone to university and have jobs? Thousands upon thousands of people move on to a university and have jobs, so it's not unique. It also takes work and dedication to do so. They most likely didn't do so much work in order to appear impressive. They probably just did what made them happy, and I'm sure it has its downsides as well. Lots of work, not letting up, people expecting more from them, etc. They probably did something or study towards something they like or love. Plus, some people wait for years before they go to school again or change jobs. It's not unusual for someone to change their career halfway through their life. It's because it was best for them. Life's a journey.

What about you? What will make you happy? Would you like to go to school to? If you do, please don't do it to impress anyone. I made that mistake before, and had to learn what I really want to do with my life. I realized working towards a goal means actually distancing yourself from others somewhat. Many people you know now, impressive or not, will have changed in even a few years time.

Everyone has to apply to work sometime, so you're in the same boat as a lot of people. I was there not too long ago, and didn't even know where to begin. There is a lot of advice online for applying for work and sending applications and resumes. I would even recommend going for work that would be easy on you now and even if it doesn't fully cover your expenses, it's a start. That's experience, which is a list you should build up all throughout your life. I've found that people hiring don't care so much where you've been, but where you are now and how good a worker you are.

Also, if you'd like to start college, that's a great idea to help yourself. If you feel you can't afford it, I'd recommend talking to your local college's financial aid. I couldn't afford it at all, not even a tiny bit, but it turns out they can help pay for a lot of your expenses including the ones outside of school if you need it. That's why a lot of students don't work during school, or at least have an easy part-time job that doesn't fully cover expenses. Especially if your parents can't help pay for school. With financial aid, be completely honest with how little you can afford school. The way they see it, a student going to college is more important to the economy than one not, after all.

I don't want you to feel you need to give up. PLEASE seek all the support you can. Can you attend therapy? It can do you wonders, although it can be hard at first to be open with yourself. I can understand that the phone hotlines don't have people who know you, and please keep this in mind when looking for support. Be honest about how you feel. Getting rid of yourself will affect the people in your life drastically for the rest of their lives, and you won't be there to tell them it's all right. It will bring everyone down, and cause them to lose hope. Please show them that even someone who has hit rock bottom can climb back up. Trust me, the view from the top of the hole of depression is a million times different from at the bottom.

I wish you the best. Take care.

Everyone's fate is different from another. And you are not a burden. Dont be jealous. Everything has a perfect timing and perseverance will always be the key. Plus a prayer will always guide you. You see, you need to follow God's plans for you, if it is not now surely when you wait for it, it will be a good one.