[aria83]

How do you get motivated to do something you committed to do, either to yourself or someone else, when you are depressed, unmotivated, and really don't want to and feel like you'd feel worse if you went ahead with your commitment?

[Hopeless_2010]

I'd like to know the same thing

[Yoda]

Yoda could use some motivation help too.

[goodgirl62]

I hope it's ok to post this here but I pray every night for stength to get through the next day. I also thank God for getting me through today. I have been depressed for a few years now. I have gained about 80lbs but when my 17 year old daughter who has been dealing with my depression for about 4 years needs something or wants to visit a friend, I get my butt out of my bed and take care of her needs.
Try hard to do some of the things your commited to do. I lost all my friends because I let my depression take me over. People don't always understand how exhausting depression is and how the depressed person isn't faking. I bet that you will be happy that you did something and it will give you more strength.

[Perna]

I have what I call my rutabaga action plan. I call it that because rutabaga is such a ridiculous word and never fails to make me smile. I don't particularly care for rutabaga (or turnips :-) but my thinking for getting things done that I have no energy/interest in doing but feel I must is to do something I really don't want to do, like clean bathrooms? LOL Start something you really don't want to do and you'll get energy from actually doing something, anything, and, there's the added benefit that your little Self will be hunting wildly for something you DO want to do, rather than whatever nasty thing you're doing. But if you're depressed and unmotivated, how much worse can it get? You might as well do things you don't want to do, LOL. Doesn't "hurt" anything and can actually help.

[Ratanddragon]

Originally Posted by Perna

I have what I call my rutabaga action plan. I call it that because rutabaga is such a ridiculous word and never fails to make me smile. I don't particularly care for rutabaga (or turnips :-) but my thinking for getting things done that I have no energy/interest in doing but feel I must is to do something I really don't want to do, like clean bathrooms? LOL Start something you really don't want to do and you'll get energy from actually doing something, anything, and, there's the added benefit that your little Self will be hunting wildly for something you DO want to do, rather than whatever nasty thing you're doing. But if you're depressed and unmotivated, how much worse can it get? You might as well do things you don't want to do, LOL. Doesn't "hurt" anything and can actually help.

So, you play games with your mind instead of letting your mind play games with you?....great concept!

[kittyann]

i have to make myself do it anyway. usually if i don't go ahead and follow through on the committment it makes me feel even more depressed. it makes me feel more like a failure so i just have to tell myself these things and remind myself that i committed to do this and i have to whether i want to or not.

at least if i follow through i won't feel like a failure for not doing it.

[Ascension]

I find knowing when I can and when I can't is important. But when I can I make myself do it because, the guilt of not doing it is worse then the frustration with having to do it. Guilt and shame really fuel my depression and my lack of motivation. It can and does become cyclical for me. It snowballs if I let it.

[marjan]

music is lifting my sprite and keep me motivated to do things....

[screamout]

I love sewing and creating things so my depression really effects my creative side. When I'm feeling really low I don't want to do anything, then as the day goes on I feel more and more guilt and shame for not doing anything so I make myself do something really small. Like if my goal is to finish a necklace, I'll make myself pick out the beads I'll use. Once I get started it usually makes me feel like doing something more.
Good luck!!!

[screamout]

When I'm depressed and don't feel like doing anything I start to feel more and more guilt and shame as the day goes on, then my depression gets even worse so I make myself do something really small, even something as simple as doing my hair works. Usually after I've gotten started I feel like doing more. Even if I don't do anything else I feel better about it because I got something accomplished.

Good luck!

[Perna]

Sometimes, for me, it depends on what the commitment is? I use to agree to go to friend's parties then call and cancel at the last minute. I'd feel bad but now, looking back on it 25-30 years later, it's okay because it was just a party. Sure I didn't do what I said I would but my self and health is more important than a "social" commitment.

Learn to word things when you agree to them, in a way you can wiggle out :-) Say something like, "I'll do it if I am able at the time" or, "I'd like to but I'm not 100% sure if I will be able to." Let the other people know you have "health" problems and might not be able to do whatever it is.

If it is something for another person whom I love, I bite the bullet and do it anyway. If it's something over time, I will try to understand how I "work" best and see if I can't do it a little bit at a time, here and here or I'll just do a one-time push at the end, depending on how I work on that sort of commitment. Knowing and trusting myself and knowing that we usually manage to do/afford what we really want, I remind myself why I agreed to do whatever (good to think about it before commitment and make sure you really want to do it and aren't just committing because you feel you should or for "guilt" reasons).

Another good thing I've used to get moving in the past is to look beyond whatever it is that I have to do and look forward to something afterwards. When I had to terminate with my T, I set up "bridge" things along the way that I was interested in that had nothing to do with her and also had a trip planned (and was moving to a new house :-) the month or two afterwards. I was plenty busy so there was action happening in my life that wasn't about T and terminating. Think up some "reward" for after you do whatever the commitment is and focus on that and the commitment often won't feel as difficult.

[oneday208]

I've wondered about the same thing. When I'm depressed it's like I have no momentum. It's like I can't summon the strength to start moving out of bed or off the couch. It's like my body's spark has been extinguished.

Some things that help me sometimes (not all the time, I'll admit) are: (1) considering how I'll feel if I don't fulfill my commitment, and the relative cost of not doing so; (2) considering being honest with my friends about how I'm feeling, if that's the circumstance; (3) making a deal with myself (e.g., if I get out of bed now I'll treat myself to a nap after my appointment).

Good luck, and keep us updated on any new ideas you have.

[PeculiarGroove]

I struggle with the same thing. It's not always good to make too many commitments for me because I end up cancelling and then feeling worse. I tend to bribe myself lol, if i do such and such i can have a nap or if i do such and such i can buy a dvd or whatever.

[lovelylovely]

I think what works for me, not sure if it would work for everyone, but you know when you are lazing about, you start procrastinating, you say you will fill out those dreaded forms but you know the very thought is incredibly stressful, well I solve it a couple of ways;
One is to think of a good memory when you are feeling dragged, imagine a compliment someone paid to you, a sunny day.
Think what it is that is putting you off and then on break it down into tiny tasks, literally. So if the plan is the washing up needs to be done, don't think about the hard work, just run the taps and fill the sink and make a promise to yourself that you WILL complete the task. Chances are, you will get stuck into it and 'hey presto, job done'!
Another thing don't think about the task being difficult, all this will do is spread negativity into your head before you have even started it, just work out what needs to be done, don't get emotionally involved with chores.

[Nemo39122]

lol I still don't have a way that always works.
Alot of times guitar helps me, although because of the music I play (rock/metal) sometimes I go with playing keyboard instead; it takes less effort and I can sit down if I want. I recently got an acoustic guitar for my birthday and noticed its possibly more effective than keyboard with the same or less effort needed. Really any form of art. Drawing and writing too. Just using things as outlets for it temporarily helps with motivation to do other things.

[maryals]

I just force myself to do it, until I like doing it again. I feel good when I can look at my day and see I accomplished something, no mater how small.

[sun_flower]

Originally Posted by aria83

How do you get motivated to do something you committed to do, either to yourself or someone else, when you are depressed, unmotivated, and really don't want to and feel like you'd feel worse if you went ahead with your commitment?

Good question.

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by sun_flower

Good question.

Sun_flower,

I sometimes play the 2 minute rule. Like instead of walking by a scrape of paper on the floor - which is so easy to do when I'm depressed and don't give a crap - I just force myself to take the few seconds it takes to bend down and pick it up and walk it to the trash can in the kitchen.

THEN, it feels like I accommplished 'something' so I do one more little thing, unload the dishwasher. That makes me feel good to just get some of the daily tasks of living finished!

2 minutes at a time. YOU CAN DO THAT MUCH.

as for the being over committed, since I haven't been working (outside the house) that doesn't happen often for me.

My Mondays feel over committed right now because that is when I am on the go most of the day. It really isn't much but it is different for me.

[sun_flower]

Originally Posted by goodgirl62

I hope it's ok to post this here but I pray every night for stength to get through the next day. I also thank God for getting me through today. I have been depressed for a few years now. I have gained about 80lbs but when my 17 year old daughter who has been dealing with my depression for about 4 years needs something or wants to visit a friend, I get my butt out of my bed and take care of her needs.
Try hard to do some of the things your commited to do. I lost all my friends because I let my depression take me over. People don't always understand how exhausting depression is and how the depressed person isn't faking. I bet that you will be happy that you did something and it will give you more strength.

You are right, people who don't suffer with depression are quick to think we are "lazy." When actually, I just can't pull myself up.
I have gained a lot of weight, too.

[polarsmom]

What a great question. I wish I could provide a helpful answer. But I too am trying to figure out the same thing. So I wanted to bump this back up to see if someone can make suggestions that maybe helpful. Tips.

I have moments, a few hours, a day or even a string of days where I feel okay. Get a bit of motivation to do stuff. Even get a little excited about it. I am unable to keep it going. I'll get started on something, plan for something and lose the desire to keep going. Although I do try to bring my dogs to the dog park almost daily because that is one thing that usually makes me feel better. But that's it.

I'll get invited to a family gathering. Occassionally surprise myself and actually go. And maybe even actually have a good time while I'm there. Tell myself I am going to go to the next thing that comes up. RSVP that I'll be there only to be a no show. This has gone on for years. The invites have pretty much come to a hault because it's known that I won't show up.

I don't have any friends. I have lost touch with them over the years. And have made no effort to make new ones. I honestly don't feel I have anything good to offer anyone. And I certainly don't want to be debbie downer. Ya know? Life is hard enough without your "friend" sucking the life out of you. Well, that's how I see it anyway. Looking back on my life now I see that I let depression take over. And I have lost so much because of it. Unfortunately I no longer have friends to lift me up. I don't have stuff to look forward to doing anymore. I have a heck of a time being social because I'm not around people anymore. (I work alone 98% of the time)

I don't know how to keep making the baby steps that eventually become big steps and so on. I don't know how to keep it going.

Where to begin??

[Posie]

I just read Goodgirl 62 Post. Yes; when my kids need me, I can do for them. Otherwise, I do I lot of lying around - things in my life make me sad, unmotivated.

[SlatkaMala]

Maybe break things down into smaller little pieces? That's what I have to do sometimes when the depression is really bad.

[missbelle]

Originally Posted by aria83

How do you get motivated to do something you committed to do, either to yourself or someone else, when you are depressed, unmotivated, and really don't want to and feel like you'd feel worse if you went ahead with your commitment?

Ouch that's hard.....I would wait till the depression improves a little and I would talk to friend(whatever) about your feelings and that right now you are not up to this, but that you understand the importance of keeping your word and you are not really backing out...you just need a little more time
Hope that helps a little
Dee

To overcome depression, in order to accomplish something you make/do an "act of will." You dig deep and summon your willpower and do what you have to do regardless of how you feel. It works for a lot of people, including me.