How to overcome fear of death?

The question pretty much speaks for itself. I believe that a lot of people suffering from mental issues which involve anxiety would cure their problems if they could overcome fear of death. Afterall all other fears stem from fear of death. Human history has been long and full of different personalities who have written about their opinions and struggles extensively. Let's make this thread a place where everyone brings together ideas about how we can overcome this fear. Let us not think that fear is in any way good. There is no need for fear to prevent someone from harming themselves. Fear is only something that inhibits people from achieving their true potential. Let's make this thread a place where we can all share in a journey of conquering fear in all of its forms, especially fear of death. If you have read about how certain people in history have overcome fear of death, or if you yourself have overcome this fear, then please post here. I myself will post the results of my research which I start today regarding this topic. I hope everyone can find a way to conquer this fear and be liberated from their anxiety. Let us help each other!

Fear is, in many way, good. We are humans of evolution. Some fears keep us safe. Such as the very typical "fear of the dark". We are, instinctively (well some of us), fearful of the dark because that is when attacks would happen thousands of years ago. We are fearful of heights because one may fall. Fears are not inherently unhealthy things. When a fear turns into an anxiety or phobia is a completely different thing. I thought I should just share this before the conversation continued.

As for me, I am not scared to die. I do not fear dying, or how my death may come about. I have had many life or death situations, and I have personally come to the conclusion that there is nothing to fear about personally dying. We achieve "eternal peace" if that is what you believe in (I do not). What gets left behind us, loved ones, etc, are the ones who have to deal with the outcome of death.

I think it is very healthy to fear the death of a loved one. As I stated previously, we are humans. We make connections to others. Especially within our families (be that chosen family or not). It is both perfectly logically sound and healthy to fear the death of someone we love.

For example, my brother was terminally ill. I was faced with the fact that he may be gone in an instant. And I worked, as my family did, to accept this. He did very early on. He said to us "I don't need to be scared. I'm not the one getting left behind." and this statement is very true. I do not know if it is fear or if it is instinctive to want our loved ones alive and safe, but it exists. I fear losing ones I love to terminal illnesses (they suffer. and they suffer terribly.) simply for the fact that they are terminal. And need to deal with this world where they know they will be leaving.

Death is a very complicated topic. There is no clean cut answers, nor are there anyways to avoid facing death in one way or another. The idea that fear is a hindrance to our personal potential, in my eyes, is a bit rubbish. I have found my bravery within my fears. And I am sure many others feel the same.

Fear is in no way good. You don't need fear to keep yourself safe. You think I don't put my hand inside the fire because I fear pain? Of course not. I don't put it inside the fire because I know that if I do so it will harm my body. No need for fear. Knowledge and awareness is sufficient to keep us safe. Fear is unnecessary.

I have investigated the subject a little so far and have come to say this... it is hard to say with any degree of certainty what happens after death unless one is to have a personal experience which will be valid proof for themselves, but not for anyone else. Hypnosis, meditation and prayer can be 3 ways in which one can try to induce such an experience upon oneself, however, from my attempts, it is unlikely to be easily successful. Furthermore, fear of death while alive is rational. One fears that one may be unable to fulfill all his desires. It is really not the fear of death that is the thing. It is the fear that one cannot fulfill all of one's desires that troubles the mind, and makes us bear such a heavy burden. An intelligent being knows that whatever setbacks one has in the world, there's still hope for them to fulfill their desires or to make a comeback. But one fears that death will rob one of this capacity to come back and fulfill one's desires. Happiness in life to a great extent comes from the immediate fulfillment of one's desires. A child who wants to play football and is able to go outside and play football is happy. A child who wants to play football and is unable to go outside is sad. A child who thinks his mother may not allow him to go outside and play football is afraid. He is afraid that he may not be able to fulfill his immediate desire.

So clearly there is a link between fear and desire. All fear is fear of not being able to do what one wants to do. Therefore freedom from fear lies in assurance that one can and will be able to do what one wants to do. I remember the very first time I was afraid. It was also the very first time I failed in something. Whatever I had tried before I had succeeded, or if not, I had had the ability to try again and in the end succeed. Nothing deprived me of the ability to try again, so there was nothing to fear in those earlier years of my life. However, one day I fell in love with a hungarian girl. And I loved her intensely but she did not love me back. No matter what I did or what I tried, I could not succeed in making her love me. And that is when my OCD kicked in and my hypochondria. I started being afraid of illness and of ANYTHING that could permanently stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Fear of death troubles no one, it is fear of not being able to do what one desires that troubles one. And the agent of this fear, in the end, is of course death, which for many is the final termination of their will and desire.

So to overcome death, one must overcome the fear that one will be unable to do what they want to do. There are two approaches to this... one is the approach of finding out that death is not the end and you will never be stopped from fulfilling your desires. The other is to stop the desire to fulfill your desires. The desire to fulfill your desires is what causes you fear, not your desires. If just this one desire can be extinguished, man will be free. I have noticed from myself that ever since I suffer from anxiety I am never bored, while before I was bored many times. Why was I bored before as a child? Because I knew that I had to wait for some time before I could do what I really wanted to do. I was bored doing school homework because I wanted to play football outside and knew that in order to be able to go play football outside I had to complete it. So, boredom is the experience one feels when one knows one has to wait to fulfill his desire, but knows that in the end will be able to fulfill it. Anxiety is the experience one feels when one knows that one needs to wait in order to fulfill his desire, but does not know that in the end he will be able to fulfill it.

During a panic attack, why does one panic? Because bodily sensations indicate that one will die, and hence one fears that he or she will be unable to fulfill his or her desires. Whether this desire is to be with his loved ones, have a girlfriend, become financially independent, or whatever. It is important to note that those who have had a near death experience have all been cured from anxiety and fear. They never fear anything because they have had a personal experience that death is not the end and death will not stop them from fulfilling their desires. So, likewise we must also search for a way to experience what they have experienced in their near death experiences without of course putting our lives at risk. As I mentioned before, prayer, meditation and hypnosis are the three ways one can try to achieve this with. However, as I said before, the result of these practices is NOT certain. We are looking to generate an experience which will create faith in the fact that death will not stop us from achieving our desires. No mere intelectual proof can do this, it must be an experience. I notice it is the goal of the Abrahamic religions to create this experience.

There's of course the other way to approach the situation. That is the way of ending the desire to fulfill ones desires. This is the way preached by hinduism, buddhism and all eastern religions. It is somewhat of a deeper way, striking the problem at its very root. These religions label this desire to fulfill ones desires as the ego. Thus destroying the ego means liberation. It is important to note that annihilation of all desires is NOT good or beneficial. We know already of people who are desireless... and they are suffering of a condition called depression. Those who are depressed usually lack any desire. They have not succeeded in doing anything by annihilating all their desires, they have not achieved happiness. I must confess that ultimate happiness is this: having desires and seeking to fulfill them, but not being attached/caring of the desire to fulfill them. In other words achieving a state where you have desires and you do seek to fulfill them, however, you stop believing that their fulfillment is a NECESSITY. You stop desiring their fulfillment. If it comes, it comes, if it doesn't come, then everything is well. This is the state of enlightenment. I have not achieved it, but I can distinguish it after years of suffering from anxiety and struggling to deal with these issues and facing them again and again.

More to come soon...

Why doesn't my previous reply show?

What about if our anxieties are from some sort of head injuries?? I was pronounced dead 3 times after 3 seizuries, i just remember a feeling of great peace and love too. Does the head injury cause the aanxiety or do i fear death which i really do everyday anyway too. Ive also had several car accadents, traumatised several times in my life, like other accidents, bad relationships etc.. so does anybody have thoughts on this?

Agustino; we are not going to agree on fear. I am a person of science (as in I am a scientist). I know the base fears are common and are healthy. One who fears eating rotten food is fearing of food poisoning. We have built in, hereditary phobias that have kept us alive for a very, very long time. It is illogical to assume all fear is unhealthy. You say you don't put your hand in fire because you know it will harm your body. If you life without fear, wouldn't the bodily harm be an irrelevancy? Wouldn't you be able to put your hand within the fire anyway? You must be aware, since you know you will face bodily harm, that you must fear and extensive injury. Or you'd easily put your hand in the fire. That is knowledge. That is instinctive understanding. And fear teaches us (HEALTHY fear) how to protect our bodies and minds from AVOIDABLE harm.


"During a panic attack, why does one panic? Because bodily sensations indicate that one will die, and hence one fears that he or she will be unable to fulfill his or her desires. Whether this desire is to be with his loved ones, have a girlfriend, become financially independent, or whatever. It is important to note that those who have had a near death experience have all been cured from anxiety and fear. They never fear anything because they have had a personal experience that death is not the end and death will not stop them from fulfilling their desires. So, likewise we must also search for a way to experience what they have experienced in their near death experiences without of course putting our lives at risk. As I mentioned before, prayer, meditation and hypnosis are the three ways one can try to achieve this with. However, as I said before, the result of these practices is NOT certain. We are looking to generate an experience which will create faith in the fact that death will not stop us from achieving our desires. No mere intelectual proof can do this, it must be an experience. I notice it is the goal of the Abrahamic religions to create this experience."

All panic attacks are not connected to death. Yes, they are connected and related to fight or flight. That does not indicate that all panic attacks are based on fear of death. When I have a panic attack it is because I depersonalize. It has nothing to do with fear of dying before I can live my desires out, or because I fear death is at my doorstep. If death is at my doorstep I will have to let him in, wouldn't I? I'd have no choice in living or dying.

I think you are generalizing; which is making your argument redundant (though fascinating). You are grouping people together with no scientific backing. You are assuming that we all fear death (we don't) because we all fear we will not live our desires (we don't). It is a very brash and cold statement. Especially what you said about people with depression. I find that rather ridiculous, to be honest. Depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, a traumatic event, past abuse, etc. Not "lack of desire". I went through high school depressed and managed to have a near perfect gpa. I worked for four years as a number 1 customer service agent, and I found pride in my work. Now I am a freelance journalist currently writing for a popular mental health magazine. And, I am actively depressed. So does that make me an odd case, or does that mean your over-generalization and simplistic rendition and ideas of depression are just that?

You must accept we are all individuals, and because of this we all face individualized thinking and thought patterns. A singular human mind is like a human finger print. None are identical (besides identical twins, and even then the science is questionable). What you're saying is "if you fear, you're losing. if you're depressed, you're losing.". How is this mental to be a mentally stimulating conversation when you continuously rely on the generalization of already marginalized groups?

Try distracting yourself with the things that make you the happiest. Know that no one is out to get you. I'm not going to post about my religion as I don't an argument. I know that even I am scared sometimes (ie: pull blankets over even though tell'll do nothing).

Okay I will answer to the best of my ability. I notice you are making me seem like denying the reality and intensity of the pain that people with depression and anxiety disorders suffer from.... No, I'm not denying the reality of it, I am affirming it. I believe there is no pain worse than that faced by people who are depressed and suffer from anxiety disorders. People who are depressed have it the worst. And on the other hand, in a way you are right. I say that people with depression and anxiety are losers, not in the sense that it's their fault for their condition, but in the sense that they are not getting the most out of life while they are afflicted by the said condition. And instead of telling them that they are condemned to a life of living with the said condition, a life of misery and fear, I tell them that there is hope and that there must be a way not only to make their condition manageable, but to cure it! I say that there is hope! Now to offer a few quotes:

"Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem" - David D. Burns

"A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end" -Elizabeth Wurtzel

Now I will answer your points more specifically:
1. You say you are a man of science. But the fact of the matter is that science itself knows very little about the human condition. I have spoken with doctors, and medical professionals who have studied for years to earn their degrees and have seen hundreds of patients. I have done my best to investigate this condition of depression and anxiety. And in the process I found several interesting things about so called science. Modern science has become a sort of religion, in the sense that it is dogmatic. It refuses to go out of the tried methods and experience with new things. I have spoken with doctors who have worked in hospitals with conventional medicine and have also worked with alternative medicine. And I see a resounding conclusion from them... alternative medicine, while it can't be tested according to the double trial principles with which normal pills are tested DOES cure patients. This is not what I believe, this is what doctors have told me. They have seen it work. Now I believe that I can rely on the honest opinion of men of medicine who I have spoken with. They know better than you or I know. You say that fear has played an important evolutionary role. However, I dare to disagree and I will explain why. And you cannot claim that it's scientific that fear has played an evolutionary role and therefore I must be wrong. I dare say that it's not fear that has played an evolutionary role, but rather consciousness. It is because you are conscious of pain that you don't put your hand in the fire. It's not because you FEAR pain, you simply don't like feeling pain. Suppose you had no fear of putting your hand in the fire. Why would you put it? Do you want to feel pain and hurt your body? If that's what you really want to do, then I don't think fear can stop you. If I don't live with fear that doesn't mean that bodily harm is irrelevant. How does that even follow? If I live without fear all that means is that I am completely free to go out there and do exactly what I want to do and what makes me happy! If putting my hand in the fire makes me happy, then fear or no fear, I will do it. It's not fear stopping me, it's my consciousness. The fact that I'm aware of the consequences of my actions and I don't want those consequences to happen because I prefer some other consequences to happen. I don't want to have a burned hand because I won't be able to play the piano which I enjoy after that for example. Do you really think that you don't put your hand in the fire because you fear it? I don't think so. I think you don't put your hand in the fire because you wouldn't enjoy the feeling of it or the consequences that follow, simple as that. Now another argument... children, if you don't stop them, will put their hand in the fire out of curiosity. So it seems your supposed evolutionary mechanism of fear is not doing its job to prevent children from putting their finger in the fire.

2. I have never said depression is CAUSED by lack of desire, I said that depression has lack of desire as a symptom, and lack of desires maintains it by maintaining a low self-esteem in the individual. I agree that we are all individuals and something will not work for all people, however, if a thing works for a person, it will likely work for another one as well. This is a central principle of medicine. If 10 people are cured of X by taking Y, then most likely the 11th person will also be cured of X if he takes Y. Not necessarily of course, but most likely. As for the chemicals in the brain, yes I agree with you. Depression is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. The only question is what causes the imbalance? The answer is that nobody knows. Personally I believe that the imbalance is somehow caused by us and our own mental activity. And therefore we have the power to change it. And this is not cold and grim as you say, but hopeful. This belief gives me and others who have it the hope that we can overcome depression and anxiety and we don't have to live our lives haunted by these conditions. EDIT: Also since I'm on this topic now... I must confess that this belief is not only beneficial to hold, it is also reasonable. What is unreasonable is to think that there's a chemical imbalance in your brain for no reason. What reason could this imbalance have? Clearly if you are eating the right diet, and taking in the right amount of the things your body needs then the only reason that could be is psychological. Something in your psyche causes your brain to produce a chemical imbalance. And since you enjoy science, you should be aware that nothing within our biology implies that we should be conscious, or aware of what is happening. In theory, one could make a robot that would behave exactly like a human being. Yet one thing the robot will lack is awareness. And you can't prove awareness or consciousness. You can prove it for yourself sure, but you cannot prove that I or anyone else is conscious. From your point of view I could as well be a robot, doing all this without being aware that I am actually doing it. So this consciousness of ours seems to have important effects on the psyche AND on the chemical balance of the brain. Look at the studies that have been done on people who meditate frequently and you will see. A strictly materialistic point of view is unreasonable in my opinion given the current understanding of science.

It seems like you went through a lot, and look at you, DESPITE all this you are still alive! Rejoice, try to be happy for being alive! You see the amazing thing about human beings is not that we suffer. It's that we are so so so amazingly resilient. That there is this force which keeps us alive DESPITE all the other things which happen to us and seek to bring our end. Often we hear only about people who die and who fail on the news and in the media. But what we don't hear, is that while so many people die, so many MORE survive despite the fact that their chances of survival were extremely dim. This comes from doctors who have witnessed patients. Yes it is true, unfortunately many people suffer and die. However, many more overcome their sufferings and escape death, not because they did something, but because they just do, despite the fact that their chances of survival are minimal. So many people, so many times in their lives come inches away from death... seconds away from it. A good book to read is "The Road Less Travelled" by Scott M. Peck, an American psychiatrist. He speaks of many of the same things which I mentioned in this post.

I am not at all feeling well, but I'd like to say I have a chemical imbalance due to my genetics. My immediate family is prone to mental illness. Especially on my mothers side. I have had blood tests done, brain scans. All show a lack of activity in the areas of the brain that are affected most by depression. That is scientific logic. I am depressed because I am genetically predispositioned to these illnesses. Does that mean I was born depressed and anxious? No. But there were events in my life that triggered these reactions.

How does one escape death? I am an apathetic atheist (as in I don't really put much thought into religion, I respect others religions, but I see no point in it myself) so it's hard for me to fathom this idea. I am not asking to be rude, which I know it seems like. I am curious to see what you're saying and to understand it more.

The genetic explanation in the end lends into the nature vs nurture debate. There is no clear answer based on science so far which can conclusively prove one as a deciding factor. We know that both have strong influence. It's true that you can have a genetic predisposition for something, however that does not mean that you are cursed to suffer from that your whole life. B.F. Skinner, a famous psychologist (and atheist btw), came up with what is known as behaviorism. The idea that behavior can be learned. So in other words, despite your genetic predisposition, your brain can be made to learn to become more active in those areas, by constant use and activation of those areas of course. So I think it is only worsening your depression that you think you have to live with it and bear with it your entire life. Try to overcome it! I'm not saying it's easy, and not trying to deny your suffering. But I'm trying to get you to see that you don't have to keep being depressed your whole life, and you should look for a way to solve your problem.

I myself am not a religious person. One must not be a religious person to believe in God or the soul, or anything else. The reason why I disagree with atheism is because it utterly fails to explain human awareness. Your whole biology says a lot, but the only thing that it doesn't say is that you should be aware of your experiences. For example a robot can be programmed to pull back his hand if the temperature of his hand reaches a certain point. Likewise, you pull back your hand if you put it inside the fire where it reaches a certain temperature. The difference between you and the robot is that you KNOW that you are doing this, while the robot is unaware. In other words you are alive, and the robot is not, despite being able to behave in the same way.

As for solutions to depression. You can look into the effects of meditation on the brain. It has been shown to activate certain regions of the brain. Also look into the effects of physical exercise on the brain. That too has been shown to activate certain regions. And just so you know, meditation, and even prayer, don't have to be religious. In the sense that they don't have to follow a certain dogma. You don't have to listen to a certain someone about how to pray, what to say, etc. that's what I mean. I hope I managed to be of some help!

What's the old saying, theres nothing to fear but fear itself.
I do not fear death, but that is according to what I believe.
I think people are afraid of pain and suffering not death itself.
There are cultures out there that do not hide from death they display it and teach their children from a young age that this is life's cycle.
To overcome the roots of suffering is to mandate the mind.
Conquer the mind and the worries of the body will fade.
H

I don't think "fear of death" is that simple. I do not have a fear of dying/death; I don't like the new/unknown, might have some anxieties about that but consider that built in/a common human trait but am not preoccupied with that in relation to death as I know some people are.

A trip to Peru to take ayahuasca with the Shamans would do it.

Less expensive, research learning astral projection.