Looking for Self-Help (Weight Loss)

I'm not sure what CBT is. I do crunches (not sit ups) and a couple other things that take about 20 min to do but it's just not doing much if anything at all. I'll try working out with the kids, that's a good idea.

As for my eating habits, they are terrible. I can't feed my kids boiled chicken and brown rice. I've picked up a new hobby, cooking, and who can't eat what they cook. I try to play head games with myself. I taped a piece of paper on my fridge that said "Stop eating your fat pig", along with a picture of myself when I was fit. It worked for a little bit, then I just ignored them and eventually didn't see it at all. I wish I could have my gaws wired shut. I may have lost my athletic body but my athletic appetite didn't go away at all.

You are right I've got to stop thinking black and white. All my life I've put all of myself into something, Softball during school years and lifting after I graduated. Now my obsession is my kids. It's hard to re-wire your way of thinking, it basically is a lot of who I am.

Thanks for the ideas it's well appreciated.

vetswife ,
How old are your children?
I was never considered thin but I wasn't fat either. However when I had my kids to gain weight and it just never came off. I was totally obsessed with my parenting role and would never take time for myself. After this past year I'm starting to see that this obsession is not good for my kids or me. Since I've TRIED to find a little time just for myself, a lot of other things have fallen into better balance.

Do you have any time to dedicate to yourself daily? Nap time, early morning, before dinner, late at night. Pick an 1 hour time block and then block out just for you. During this time just commit yourself to doing something active that you like. I didn't think I could handle early morning workouts. When my friend suggested we workout together from 6-7 am I about laughed her out of my house. The first 2 wks about killed me but then I got into a routine. I was able to workout and get home in time to get a shower and the kids off to school. My H was home at that time so I didn't have to worry about leaving the kids home along.

You said you picked up an interest in cooking. On a previous weight loss quest I logged on to e-diet.com. There are a lot of free recipes and helpful hints at on this site. I actually joined the site for a few months to get ideas for different meals. It was fairly cheap ($5/ month). I have few domestic skills and am clueless in the kitchen. I would log on and select some of their meal ideas. I could even choose like ..chicken meals that had less than 5 ingredients (anything over that I get lost ) , and 30 minutes or less prep time. This site helped me see other food options. It also gave me some snacking ideas and an option to print out a shopping list. For me a short term membership dramatically improved the variety of my diet. My H liked having something different than boiled chicken over and over again too. If I did it again I would sign up for a month and download a zillion of meal ideas then discontinue my membership.

Also if you are interested, I can back track my steps and find the free website I used to find out the number of calories in different foods. This was also helpful to get a general sense of how many calories I was consuming a day. I thought ... "I don't eat much, why am I still so fat?" When I actually log my intake, counted the calories, and found out why I was so fat... the grazing I was doing added up. I get a bit obsessive with calorie counting so this time I have done that, but I needed to do it at first to get a better sense of serving size and caloric content of different foods.

Let me know if you are interested in some of the sites I used.

I joined http://www.sparkpeople.com in April which is a free site and has all sorts of people doing all sorts of things (exercise, eating differently and having to work around/with kids, hobbies, health problems, other interests). But it's great for having buddies and people who like the same sorts of things as you do to help motivate; that's its best feature in my opinion, the motivation. I just kind of naturally got into thinking differently and trying different things.

I have an 11 year old son I also have an 11 year old step son, a 4 year old son and my daughter will be 3 in August (they are 15 months apart). From the time I wake up till the time I go to bed I am with the kids (my 11 year old obviously is in school). My 4 year old will be starting preschool this September. I was hesitant to put him in pre-school for a couple reasons. 1. I don't want to let go. 2. They are half days everyday so I would have to go to the school at 8am 12pm and 3pm everyday, I would be doing nothing but going back and fourth to the school, I would never get my work done. My two youngest kids still sleep with me (I know that's bad). When they were newborns I was so terrified of SIDS that I would sleep right next to them with my hand on their chest. The kids and myself got use to this. Now they fall asleep with me and I put them in their own beds once in a while. I wind up getting a worse night sleep when they are in their own beds because I'm up all night checking on them. I know this is a whole other issue, I am a paranoid person. I probably need a very talented shrink to fix all my "problems" lol, but who has the time or money for that.

What I cook are my own recipes. I don't do well fallowing recipes with the exception of baking I need a recipe for that. I cook mostly chicken and seafood. Once in a while I cook beef. My weekness is the pastas and breads. I don't have a whole lot of snacks in the house, because of my tendency to snack. I do have lots of fruits for the kids. I don't think what I eat is too bad (with the exeption of the carbs) as to how much I eat. My Mom's house is terrible, she has all kinds of snacks and she's always pushing food down everyones throats. All family function revolve around food it's so hard to be good and not engorge.

I don't want you to have to back track anything. I do appriciate the offer.

Why are the fruits "for the kids?" Fruits are a great snack for everyone, and also a "no guilt" food! Bags and bags of apples, oranges, seedless grapes (frozen are more fun), raw veggies such as carrot sticks, celery (with sugar free, low fat peanut butter), broccoli, cauliflower, and something like pretzel sticks, string cheese are also good.

Buy plenty and try out a "no guilt" week, where you can eat all of any of the above without thinking! The freedom you can experience can show you a good way to find a healthy way of eating.

BTW, I'm disabled, and generally go out to eat one meal a day, which I bring half home for a second meal. However, at the urging of my pain T, I bought a quart size crock pot (it's just me) and before I go off to physical therapy in the morning, I chop up a celery stick, carrot, potato, 1/4 onion, 1/4 cup frozen corn, 1/4 cup green beans, and 3 oz of meat, a few shakes of thyme and sweet basil, and it's cooking. No brainer cooking for me! By the time I get home and chill out from therapies, I'm ready to eat and it's ready too. One pot to clean (and the bunnie gets the choppings.)

Try to think outside of your routine, and find a way to work it out.

LOVE the crockpots, especially when it is cold out.

In the summer I try to cut up melons, or have other fruit prepared and out on the table for people to grab and go. I also like to make the a pitcher of ice tea or lemon aide (I use the generic crystal light stuff that is low cal). My kids drink it and it has a lot less sugar and calories then soda or fruit juices.

Also once a week I like to have a drink after golfing. Instead of a light beer, I've gone with one mixed drink: vodka, club soda, and a just a splash of cranberry juice. I thought the alcohol was the main source of calories in a drink, when I look into it most of the calories in a mix drink comes from the fruit juice used. A splash gives you some flavor with as many calories.

Here is a nice general article on Weight management. Weight Management

One misconception that some people have is that you have to exercise for 30 minute to an hour in order to get the benefits. This is not always the case. You can get similar weight loss benefits from doing several shorter duration workouts throughout the day. This may not be the best way to get the cardio-benefits but I will still use up calories. For untrained individuals 10 minutes can be enough to get the some cardio- benefits as well.

In reality the bottom line in weight loss is to expend more calories than you take in. Unfortunately consistently doing it on a daily basis isn't easy.

Good thoughts!

One key element in exercise is increased oxygen intake. You can accomplish this without physical exercise by deep breathing exercises, which have the same aerobic effect as exercise.

For those in wheelchairs etc, and diabetics, it has been shown that doing arm exercises vigorously, increases circulation enough to positively affect the feet too!

That's neat about the mini-crockpot, Sky. I just bought a mini-chopper (mini-food processor) as I don't like how "high" the blades are of a regular food processor or blender are when you want to mix together such small amounts of stuff. I went on vacation right after I got it and haven't gotten to try it yet. I can't wait to make my own salsas, sauces and grill mixtures.

Salsa... this is another great tip for losing weight. What else to other people use to flavor foods that may be a little more healthy and less calories?

I agree about salsa... anytime you add hot peppers it cranks your metabolism. (I always lose weight the week I eat pizza and it has to be because I sprinkled hot peppers onto it (and have it for several meals.)

I do eat the fruits too, I guess I need to word these responses better. Personally I like veggies (some fruits bother my stomach melons especially and I love them). I have to cook the veggies for them not to bother my stomach. I've also learned that certain lettuces bother my stomach, spinach doesn't. Strange I know, and annoying I love all fruits and veggies. When I was heavily into lifting fruits were out because of the fructose, they can really get crazy with your diet. I just meant that the snacks I keep in the house (because kids need snacks) are fruits. My kids also like snacking on cereal. I was never a big crock pot person. I have one but don't use it a lot, I should though that recipe sound good like I said I love cooked veggies.

Did I post these already? Here are links to weight loss in drclay's book

http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org...ms=weight+loss

OK... to THE BOOK

Chapter 6

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Dr Clay wrote:
"If you are mentally absorbed with a
problem, DO SOMETHING that might clarify the situation, lessen the
stress, or point a way out, don’t just think about being upset. For
instance, if you are dwelling on the impact of weight on your looks,
health, and love life, reduce the thinking and increase the serious
long-term problem-solving,.."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

(My overall rating on this book is still developing. I will say that the next paragraph rubbed me the wrong was a bit. Seemed a bit like he was stereotyping women even though he was quoting research facts.

Sorry back to what I wanted to post about on weight loss...

I tend to do what Dr. Clay (or the source he was referencing) recommends when it comes to my weight. The past few weeks I have been stressing out over an issue. Last Friday I checked in on the scale and about freaked. I had gained 5 lbs. I couldn't believe that after all the hard work I had done this year, one little stressor sent me right back into an old pattern. I did become "mentally absorbed" by this little backslide, but directed my energy towards changing my behavior. I've since been able to take the weight back off. Now I can eat again.... JUST KIDDING! I do not starve myself--this is physiologically not a sound method for long term weight management.

Weight management for me requires a lot of vigilance. It seems like it is always going to be an issue for me. This amazes me somewhat since I was not overweight-->obese until my 30's. I can only image that this issue is even more profound for others who have struggled their whole lives. I really commend anyone who has been dealing with this issue from childhood.

My H tends to think I may be taking the monitoring thing too far. However, if I wasn't monitoring myself weekly I would likely have gained 10-20lbs which would have been a lot more depressing and a lot harder to recover from.

Have any of you struggled with striking a balance between being aware of your weight changes and going too far and being a freak about it? For me a 2-3 lb fluctuation is no big deal. I consider this just fluid retention, few days of slightly over eating, no big deal as long as goes back down. However 5 lbs definitely raised the red flag and kicked me into "get it off, now before you start creeping back up" mode.

I'd love to hear how others are striking a balance in monitoring and managing their weight. What are your red flags? Should there be red flag?