[(JD)]

http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org.../chap4_60.html

Here is a link where Dr Clay talks in his book about controlling simple habits, such as what those new year's resolutions are made of!

[Junerain]

It's interesting it takes people a while, making the same resolution, before it 'clicks..' Weight watchers is like that, when you go in, they ask, how many times have you tried us before? And the success stories often involve people not on their first try..I'm working on not only that, but keeping my house clean, every time I put something not in its place, I will substitute with a thought of what it takes to celan the whole place, and the substitution seems to work...this is a great website.....

[(JD)]

Oh yes! And also old habits are best changed when replaced by a new one!

Sometimes a person might fail at all resolutions because they didn't tackle them one at a time, but collectively. It becomes overwhelming, little results are realized that way, and the propensity to quit trying is strong.

I love to find my stack of index cards from days of old, still bundled with a rubber band, where I wrote my goals, one of each index card. I think I will go back to that again, that method. It is so encouraging to read them, now years later and see what I've accomplished and to remember how "futile" some of them seemed when I first wrote them on a card!


Happy New Year!

[drclay]

Happy New Years!

It has been a busy week for us...kids coming in from all over the country. It is so nice to be with them (many have to travel far to get here).

So, not much time for New Year's resolutions but that is OK because I seldom make New Year's resolutions. Actually, my wants are about the same as in most previous years. That means I can just re-dedicate myself to my work--it is re-newing my motivation and determination to read and write more. So, today I am reading detailed suggestions sent to me from a Buddhist friend in England for improving my rough draft of a big part of Chapter 8. I can't get it all read today because the Rose Bowl will be on in a couple of hours--and University of Illinois is playing this year.

Like _Sky says pour on the rewards for doing the desired new behaviors. The first few days...and weeks...are crucial in developing a new habit. Get started quickly and go at the hard parts of the task full force. Force yourself to disclose your successes and failures to several important people. As they say these days--you need to be transparent, you can hide or lie about your failures...flaunt your successes.

Be tough.

drclay

[Perna]

Not quite "new" resolutions, but I'm having trouble letting go of old projects that have not quite worked? It could be there is still a spark of interest but I've never put in enough effort or they cost more money and effort than I want to put in, etc. but I don't quite let them go?

One can only do so much at once; in my "youth" :-) I use to have a lot of projects and it was only long after my therapist pointed out they were all pretty major and that one can only do a couple really major things at at time or even sequentially that I began to scale down and focus on the ones I was willing to really work on. But I also find that some of those I've been working on for years and they aren't really what I want but I'm in a "rut" having identified with them for a longish time so I keep going back to them even though I'd like to try something new. But I don't know how to free up the "energy" from the old and be brave enough to try the new, etc.

[EJ711]

Wow Sky,

That's inspiring!

DId you know using index cards, is Kinsey Milhone's favorite way to crack one of her cases in the Sue Grafton alphabet mysteries?

I don't think I'm changing the topic, am I?

EJ

[(JD)]

How can support be off topic? Thanks.

I'm struggling with getting it together yet though...with all that's going on (LIFE) in my (LIFE) lol I can't get to my life because my life is intruding!