New Year's Resolutions for Therapy

Ok. Here we go again. I love New Year's almost as much as I abhor Christmas.
I am making my New Year's resolutions and thought I might include a few for therapy as well.

In 2008 I will:

1. Not spill water on T
2. Leave myself plenty of time to get to therapy so I am not speeding and making myself anxious in getting there.
3. Delve deeper into my desire for and confusions about intimacy and love and how they are both separate and connected
4. Sit in the chair again
5. Ask T about the poetry and letters I have given him.

Ummmm, that's enough for now. Anyone else?

Get a T!!!! lol

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sister said:
Ok. Here we go again. I love New Year's almost as much as I abhor Christmas.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
And I abhor New Year's almost as much as I love Christmas.

I also don't believe in New Year's resolutions. But since I love Sister and I love T, I will go along with this post. Haha

Sister, I think your resolutions are good ones that I am confident you will be able to follow through with. Well, maybe not #1... but the rest, indeed.

For me:

1. On my next session, Jan 2nd-- to be able to verbalize that unconscious thought that popped into my head as I was walking around the city today. It came out of nowhere. Suddenly I thought to myself, "If I could just get him to say he is attracted to me, then I could terminate and my work here would be done." Yikes. Where did that come from? Erotic transference, I suspect. I resolve to share this with him on Wednesday.

2. To be able to free associate more and not hold back immediate thoughts that come to mind during session.

I suppose these things will happen when I'm ready but a little resolve won't hurt.

Give new female T a chance.

1. To lay on the couch on Jan 2nd and try some free association.
2. To stop filtering what I say and sorting things into "might say" and "definitely not".
3. Be honest about my attachment instead of completely denying it exists.
4. Use a sort of "token economy" for myself for when I say negative things about myself, or curse - which plays into therapy because of negative thought process.

Stormyangels, I love your token economy idea. I tried that for myself back when I was in college but couldn't get it to work because I was both rewarder and recipient :-) However, maybe that's where talking to myself and answering came from; I immediately respond with heavy defense if I say something negative about myself.

Great Topic! It got me thinking. When I started therapy I promised myself that I would be up front and honest with my docs or this was going to be a waste. It would be like putting a band-aid on the problems rather than figuring out the causes so they don't continue to rule my life.

While in an EMDR session my therapist asked a very difficult, very embarrassing question and after I answered it she said "thank you for being so honest" to which I responded "this won't work if I'm not".

I've been with the same tdoc and EMDR therapist since the beginning and I am very comfortable - these are my safe places, the only people I'm really comfortable sharing with.

So what could I do to improve:
What I don't do, that I need to start, is reach out to them outside my appointments when I am struggling. I have a bad habit of not wanting to bother them and suffering until I my next appointment.

When we have talked about these times I'm always asked why I don't call. I don't want to bother them; I want to be respectful of their time. I also learned as a child to hold it in, my complaints went unanswered and the abuse continued. So why bother... They continually assure me they are there for me.

So this new year I will work at reaching out to them. And as I think about this, it should give me the confidence to share more with my family/friends.

Wish me luck!