A few Measly Steps a Day

Sleep machine - I'm still waiting for someone to get back to me. My friend had the same experience you did, SPG, a representative went over everything she needed to know. And this was only a couple of months ago. I get tips about cleaning the machine, and videos of satisfied users anytime I try to talk to a human. They texted me with a number and an extension to call if I have a question, but the extension doesn't work. The extension for purchasing equipment works (of course) and I can use that to leave a message with a tech rep. Today, I'll leave a message for my doctor concerning Apria's poor service. Then maybe I'll leave a message with my insurance company. Yeesh!

But in the sleep ... something breaks? Yikes. A very intriguing exchange.

I'm feeling pretty good. Just printed 4 Kaipa Pyramids for What I Want to Explore Now: Generosity, Doodling, Sacred Clearing (of my space) & Fairspeaking (or Vox Detox, as I nicknamed it). Attaching his description of the process.

It's built around visualizing several tensions within ourselves (or an organization) locked into doing a task. It's a conversation on the page among the various pulls and pushes I feel within.

Because I liked it a lot when I was sending articles to my Mom to share, the other thing I did was find quotes for the 14 elements of each diagram. This led me into many long lists of quotes and from there I'd look at articles, videos, and sometimes whole books.

Finally I put the pyramid and quotes back to back on a sheet of paper and made one of those cute 8-page tiny folding zines.

A friend is weaving—on a full-size loom—something for me, so I gave her a test zine and said I'd need a pouch that could hold 4 of them.

I also helped my partner with her taxes over the weekend (she's done!) Just my own and the city's then I can mail everything in.

The Condo is a cobra which needs constant charming as I step away, slowly, so as not to get bit. Meaning, I've sent my letter emphasizing neither I nor my partner can be persuaded to serve on the Board. We've put in 7 hard years, together, and it's time for others to experience serving the community.

I also summarized the by-law rules for us about how to keep the Board intact even if no one volunteers to stand for service. It may prove interesting. I'm ready to keep swaying and playing my Exit Song.

Howdy! (A message with just "Howdy!" is too short -- the forum won't accept it)

"The Condo is a cobra which needs constant charming as I step away, slowly, so as not to get bit."

Brilliant!

And thank you for the PDF reference on Kaipa’s Pyramid. The one search result that was relevant took so long to load that I (wrongly) deduced it had something to do with Kabballah before I looked at it.

I figured out the problem. Also, I sent an email to my doctor, my insurance, and I posted on Apria's facebook page about how bad their service is. I got a call from Apria and scheduled an appointment for a phone call on the 20th. That was before the cpap machine began working normally. I'm not going to cancel the appointment. It would be too hard to figure out how to do it.

p.s. I'm usually big on forgiveness, since I'm not perfect either. But not this time.

Apria is a big enough entity -- they can handle a little justifiable criticism.

Is your CPAP a Phliips machine? There have been recalls due to a filter disintegrating and then getting inhaled. It has been discussed in another thread I participate in -- something like getting to bed consistently.

Hello Measly Steppers,

My heart danced when I noticed a chance for a bit of freelance research. Took less than 3 minutes ...

Philips Page on their Voluntary Recall

Also looked up The Great Trespass in 1932. A fantastic commons-force protest that sparked public and political support for open access to nature (across the boundaries of 'private property') for all. I believe bad news travels fast and good news is a homebody. Here it is 2024, 92 years later, and this is the first time I'm learning about this. Mind you, I've studied non-violence philosophy and tactics for years and no one had written about this or mentioned it in speeches. It would have served as inspiration to Rosa Parks & Dr King in the 50s.

Breathing. Today I'm using that as my theme. Yesterday, half of my troubles with TK Elevators got finally solved. Just been doggedly keeping it in sights since November. And the last solution is one that our bookkeeper might have fixed without any nudge and paying bills is supposedly her job. The final part fell in place when I asked TKE if they had electronic payments. Yes they did, there's a click box where you can set it up. I "wired" (meaning emailed) this to our bookie and she had it paid within a couple of hours.

In the current malaise affecting commerce where seeming everyone has forgotten how to think and take steps without direct orders, stringing together enough moments of illumination to finish something minor now feels like winning a bronze medal. I've suffered and observed much that I'm definitely putting to use going forward.

Measly Steps today and the morrow:

• Finish reading and taking notes on Priestdaddy, a funny memoir by the daughter of a Catholic priest (if there ever was a hook for a memoir, she's found it).
• Finish soon Negotiating the Impossible in prep for some negotiating I have to face.
• After 75 days of bumpy and stressful "retirement"—jubliglum—go and taste some jubliglee at the counter of the local cooking school.
• Think through literally walking away (taking a breather) from the annual meeting so the other owners can praise or curse me while sorting out who will step up next to serve the commons via the Board.
• Monday, I'm planning on luxuriating at the Korean spa.

More glee, less glum.

PS: Is there a trick to getting my list the same font & size as the rest of the text?

Oh, happy, happy, joy, joy! A challenge...
Measly Steps today and the morrow:

• Finish reading and taking notes on Priestdaddy, a funny memoir by the daughter of a Catholic priest (if there ever was a hook for a memoir, she's found it).
• Finish soon Negotiating the Impossible in prep for some negotiating I have to face.
• After 75 days of bumpy and stressful "retirement"—jubliglum—go and taste some jubliglee at the counter of the local cooking school.
• Think through literally walking away (taking a breather) from the annual meeting so the other owners can praise or curse me while sorting out who will step up next to serve the commons via the Board.
• Monday, I'm planning on luxuriating at the Korean spa.

More glee, less glum.

Apparently, the answer is yes, the bullet list items can be coerced into the same Font Size and Type as the rest of the post. The trick is to specify Size and Type after each asterisk code as shown in the attachment.

The other reason I took an interest in your post, R, was the preparation to negotiation in Bullet Item 2. I did read "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" by Chris Voss. It was fascinating, and I read it just for pleasure and never put any of his advice into practice.. I regifted the book to my daughter and she took an uncanny interest in it. But AFAIK, she never negotiated anything out of me, at least not that I'm aware of.

There is training in negotiating available according to these search results.

Yet another comment for you, R...

As I was cleaning up after a round of pruning, your quote popped into my head: "The Condo is a cobra which needs constant charming as I step away, slowly, so as not to get bit."

I've been a member in a few groups that I joined because either my daughter or my wife (or both) got me into them. I would endure the membership and participation well beyond my enjoyment and nearly beyond tolerating it until I'd just not show up and ghost the follow up calls. This is quite the opposite of backing away slowly. It was more like waving my arms like Soap's Burt Campbell.

Some lessons from my experiences are:

• Avoid joining any groups.
• If you do join a group, don't show up regularly.
• If you do show up regularly, be passive, non committal and as unenthusiastic as possible.
• If you keep showing up with enthusiasm, do not agree to participate, especially on a regular basis.
• If you do participate regularly and get to the point where you wish you were doing something else, quit.

The real lesson I learn is that I never learn my lesson.

Thanks SPG. Had me laughing. I did notice all that html when I experimented with getting my list the same size. I rewrote and let it be because I had a hard time seeing the text to edit it after that. Next time I'll hold off until the very last before setting it up to match.

I have a lot of experience negotiating. I've run workshops for community folks to lawyers to the negotiators for the Federal Mediation Service.

Like a musician, it's best to rehearse before a concert. In this case, it's getting a vendor to cede something they had no business looking into in the first place. Since I have a BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement), am sure of my ground and have the backing of the other board member I can negotiate from strength.

Also, I need to figure out how to face-off if it comes to that. First, I know not to go alone. If another Board member is going—in our state that makes it a "board meeting"—the other owners have to be told. Don't want that as we don't want a contentious question we have settled internally re-opened.

My partner is busy and may or may not have the time. But, I do have a friend who is claiming personal days a couple of times a week. So I asked him. He is on "stand by" mode and available if needed.

The main issues at stake is whether our policy, A, stands or their idea of what our policy ought to be, B, takes its place. They wanted to meet via zoom and discuss this. I countered with, if your draft supports Pol A, then zoom is fine; if Pol B, we need to meet in person because it's such a radical reversal and quite important.

They said we politely decline to meet in person. I said it would only be a "fair agreement" to meet in person as we have opened our doors to your people, shared any document you asked for, and approved you reaching out to our very busy vendors with your questions. I also said before we can agree which to do, I need to see your draft.

The draft dropped this week in support of their Pol B. One thing I asked (negotiation position) for was a court ruling or state law where they have the authority to challenged our established policy. None have been provided, though he says he polled some folks working with condos about it. How nice.

But he hinted that if we insist it can be re-written to support our Pol A. An opening.

So, thus far I've "negotiated" getting a draft ahead of any meeting and an oblique offer that they will change it if we want to our preferred Pol A. Not sure how ready they really are about making that change. But still, an opening is an opening.

Along the lines of the Voss book, I have Jerry Spence's "How to Win Every Argument."

The very simplest protocol is offered by a training for youth called Natural Helpers. So, I'm aware of the range.

I think we are negotiating in life far more often than we see—it's just that 99.999% don't reach the level of a hostage situation. Example:

Person M: Hungry? Let's go out.
Person P: Sure (first agreement)
M: I'm thinking Mexican.
P: Naw, we had a lot of nachos 2 weeks ago. Pizza?
M: Just had a pizza party at work.
P: Ooo, I know. That new place making burgers with fried ramen for buns.
M: Oh yeah, I read about them, let's go. … Probably be a line ...

Wow, Revu2, you are Amazing!

Hi, All,
Sorry I was away. I had trouble with my last post, and chose to give up rather keep trying. R, I could never do the things you do. I am, however good at saying "NO."
My big issue - My husband just informed that he's been having chest pains. He has a video conference scheduled, and needed help on how to connect to a video conference, which is the only reason he told me about the chest pains. I have a messed up shoulder and can't drive the two hours over the curving mountain roads to get to him. I tried to find a way to get there by bus. Ooh, as I'm typing this, I thought of a possible way to do that. Anyway, he gets audio connection, but not video. This happened to me once, and they cancelled the appointment because their policy is that they have to be able to see the patient. So he has to call their help line (which is his idea of hell) to figure out how to do the meeting. The alternative is to drive for four hours for an in-person appt. (Kinda dangerous for someone complaining of chest pains.) I have more to tell you two but the husband is priority one at this time.
Good luck on everything.

I hope your husband's chest pains are not serious! At first I thought the chest pains were caused by him trying to set up a teleconference. I think I've been having them when computers don't do what they're supposed to, but I'm too busy cursing to realize it.

(D, I hope all health crises are resolved for the best for all.)

The Idea that we suffer to learn lessons ... is hogwash. Pure and simple.

It's a metaphor to school, where there's a cliche that a great gulch separates it from "reality." Wait till you get out in the real world, they say.

Then the "real world" brings suffering and ... lessons!? OK, let's work this metaphor. When is the course final? Do I write a paper? Is there credit for participation? Can I skip class and play? When do I graduate and can get back to school?

All this comes to mind as I'm on the cusp, verge, edge, of dropping a vendor mid-course in their work. They are not listening, not thinking, and not respectful. I suffer at this moment cause I don't know how to find the vendor we need.

I don't know where or how to work my way clear.

Can't help with the vendor unless you can provide more details.

But WRT the metaphor, yes, you most certainly can "skip class." Suffering is a state of mind. Live in the present and the impossibly large debt, the cancer diagnosis, the cheating son-in-law all drop away.

Consider school children. Mostly they live in the moment and can find joy when they're not bothered by us adults. Let them be our teachers, guides and mentors.

Thanks for the reminders to be like children. The happier kind. Looking back sometimes I see much romanticism whereas I recall being really miserable both among adults or among my peer kid friends.

I'm wending my way out of the challenge a step at a time. Nothing to be helped as we need to separate due to a stark misfit. I've written a memo rejecting their work and asking for our deposit back.

I will negotiate the close out. They'll want to keep the deposit of course and charge the full remainder; I'll decline to pay the full amount and offer a symbolic amount for their decidedly crappy work just to get past this and move on.

I raised the question to myself this morning, should I try another run with another company? No. I won't. I did the best I could and we missed one another. If other owners need or want this type of report, they can step up.

I've did email the senator who sponsored the bill we're trying to comply with asking for tips for our nuanced situation which may not fit the common pattern considered in the law. We'll see.

Hi,
Here's my take on suffering - Sometimes we learn something for a bad experience. (Same goes for a good experience.) Sometimes, we just get through it, and our blood pressure hikes up a notch, and sometimes bad experiences break us. Me - I used to be mellow. Bad things happened, and I just didn't let them get to me. Now, even little things bother me, and it bothers me that I get so bothered by little things. Also, I've notices that when mu blood pressure is high, I'm more easily bothered.
I'm turning my sleep machine in. Most nights have been worse with the machine than without. I had a couple of really bad nights last week, and my BP shot up to dangerous. After giving up, I had a great night's sleep.
Okay, back to editing for me. I probably need to post a to-do list. Hoping to get a few measly steps accomplished today.

two things...

high blood pressure and irritability both can be caused by poor sleep. so maybe the defective CPAP machine is to blame for your state.

okay, that wasn't supposed to be posted so quickly. the computer trackpad is doing weird things...

anyway, the second thing is this: what makes an experience good or bad? my therapist asked me this very recently.

after i got home i remembered the Story of the Zen Farmer

HI Team,

Interesting that when Delightful turned in the machine she got a good nite's sleep. Hm. Maybe the testy sleeping pattern was a way for your unconscious to protest?

Thanks SPG for the reminder about the Zen Farmer. The blogger makes the common conclusion:

Quote:

Maintaining an open and receptive awareness—and not clinging to any outcome, desired or dreaded—we give space for life to flow, with all of its unknowable twists and turns, and its possibilities, too.

After hearing this story + this moral, I never see a personal example. OK, show how this worked for you were denied entry to a country because of a bureaucratic blip?

Like anyone who is not a hermit, I live my life interacting with other people who all are actively pursuing their private or corporate outcomes. Often, if I relax, really concede or surrender, they get their outcome which might not be the best for the situation. If it's a quick or minor thing, so be it, but if it has implications for our ongoing relationship or other areas of my life, well, no, spoiled person, you can't just get your way by throwing a fit or, no, incompetent company, I'm can't give up because your lack of service will cost me thousands in taxes I shouldn't pay.

My other quibble is that I never voted, vowed, or vetted that the flow state is the preferred state no matter what. Life flows regardless, and sometimes I must be a boulder, sometimes the shoreline, sometimes the surface, sometimes the bed, and sometimes I'll need to step out and find a better stream.

Good thinking, R.

IOW, know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em (sort of).

I mean all this "bend like the willow" may be nice, but as you wrote, it's important to kick major behinds when the situation calls for it.

Serenity to accept what I cannot change, courage to change what I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Bad things will happen. When they do, we can make them worse by dwelling on them, stewing in anger, or we can accept the bad things and the bad feelings without making them any worse. if it's a little thing, this is good advice. If it's a huge thing, letting go is hard to impossible. There's my deep thought for the day.

Re the sleep machine - they work great for some people. The do not work for me. In fact they make sleep a lot worse. A lot, lot, lot worse. Apria has a 1.5 gold star rating on yelp. They have a Facebook page for flowing success stories, only almost all the posts (including mine) talk about what horrible service Apria provides. When I returned my sleep machine, a lady there said she waited on the phone for a half hour and never got to talk to anyone. I was nodding vigorously as she complained. The woman who worked there was taking it all in. Clearly, it wasn't her fault. They are understaffed. I said several times, "It's not your fault. Apria is a terrible company." I hope it helped her. She did say that in her last job, she had to foreclose on loans, so this was actually an improvement.

As for me, maybe if I'd gotten the support I was supposed to, the CPAP would have helped me. As it was, I had two really bad nights, and my BP hit a dangerous high. So I'm not going to give it another try. It's not worth risking a stroke. Know when to fold them. And I can make the whole thing a lot worse by dwelling on Apria. I complained to my doctor, to my insurance company, and on the Apria's Facebook page. That's all I need to do. Time to let go.

Good stuff, and a good night's sleep, to us all.