Cutting(Trigger)

Just about to cut.........Have too.....need too....want too.....
I want to feel the blood ,I want to feel the warmness ........I want to feel alive not dead.....

Want to forget about my pain and focus on anything eles..............

Want to be comforted......Want to be cared about.........

Want my family to tell me that Im worth something....anything..........

want to feel pain.......nice pain..........not nasty pain...........

want to feel loved and not just another one of the family?

want someone to tell me that Im ok.......

want someone to hold me tight and never leave me..........

Want to feel real......not dead and numb..........

cryingchild, please don't cut. Whatever relief it may bring nevers lasts.

I know it is only the Internet, but there are people here who care about you, and want to see you whole and not in pain.

And no matter what, you are worth something. You are special and unique, and there will never be another person in this world quite like you. You are too valuable to hurt, to damage yourself. You are too special to deserve pain. So please don't inflict more pain on yourself.

((((((((((cryingchild))))))))))

mj

Welcome back! How was your trip?

I understand what you wrote. I've felt all of those things too. That line about wanting to feel loved and not just another one of the family seems significant and brings back memories for me. Do your parents go to extremes to try to make everybody equal and the same? Mine did. It's a mistake - people are not equal because they are not the same. That doesn't mean that one is better than another, just not the same. We all need to feel special - not the same as everybody else. You are special, I hope you know. And you don't have to cut to be special.

Once I printed out a list of the reasons why people self injure and I marked the ones that I felt applied to me and I showed the list to my T. He didn't understand the one about wanting to be unique, and I had to explain it to him.

I'm glad that you are back, and hope that you can feel better.

{{{{{{{{{{{crying child}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

-Wendy

<font color=green>Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that, you, too, can become great. -Mark Twain</font color=green>

Crying, I am glad to see that you are back - you were missed.

I know only too well those feelings of wanting to feel something, to know that I am alive. If it wasn't for my recent issues with my T, I would have done it myself by now.

Please hang in there - don't do it. We are all here for you.

Mary Alice

{{{{{{{{{{{Cryingchild}}}}}}}}}}} Just a hug, that is all. Take care dear one, you are a very special part of this family we have made in the ether of the internet. Stay safe and know you are loved.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson