How'd your T find out/react?

I think the title pretty much explains it.

How did you tell your T, or how did your T find out about your SI? And once they found out, how did they react, what questions did they ask, and how did you feel afterward?

I asked him in a kind of roundabout way "i have an academic question- is it necessarily psychotic to infdlicyt injury on oneself" he No but its dysfunctional. Then I was able to wear shorter sleaves and much later along he was shoewing me letter he got anon. from "me" telling on myself. He said his first mandate is my safety and I said So is mine. So he implied trust that we were both on the same page. i dont report everything its in the background that we both know it goes on sometimes and thsat i would "tell on myself" if it was mortally dangerous and i saw it coming (like causeing a car crash or being accident prone)
He knows i dont refill a scrip that should hahve run out because he was told about meds being thrown out and replaced with laxative. All self injury isnt cutting and burning- its also neglect and sabatouge of your health and welfare.

I got right to the point with both my pdoc and tdoc. First session my tdoc asked how I cope with the mood swings and all the bad stuff that's happened in my life. I told him all my methods and one was cutting. He said "Well, I can't say that I'm surprised... and with time, you won't need to anymore." He also told me that if I had the urges and couldn't fight them that I could call his cell anytime, day or night. My pdoc said pretty much the same thing. I got extremely lucky with my docs though. They're great.

Ry

Mine asked me specifically.. probably because allot of people with bulimia also cut. She knew alot about it so she was fine. I was embarrassed though.

Mine also asked point blank, before she was even my T, and surprised the heck out of me. She just said "Do you ever hurt yourself?" I fumbled for an answer because I didn't want to lie. I sort of told her a half-truth. I said that yes I had cut myself a few times lately (true), but that I wasn't doing it anymore (half-true. The last time had been a few days ago, and I didn't WANT to do it again, but I couldn't exactly say I've "quit" lol. I think she knew it was sort-of the truth (lol). She didn't push it any farther. If I remember right, I think she just nodded and didn't say anything else.

Sweet - Did you guys ever talk about it after that??

Yes, periodically as it is relevant we do. I tell her (usually ) when I've done it again. And once I told her that sometimes I want to show her cuts (I never have). I did ask her if it's okay to wear short sleeves to therapy even if i have new cuts and she said yes. Really, we don't talk about it unless I bring it up. She trusts me to bring it up if it's a problem

That sounds good. So it doesn't bother you that she never asks, or does it make you feel better about her trusting you to speak up?

mine saw my scars, and did not freak out like my mom did. but after wards i felt weird and like a failer because i failed at keeping one secret.

I told her in an email before she was my T. At that time, she was my professor, and SI had come up in class and been discussed, and she just has something about her that made me feel like I could confide in her. I started with a warning that there was something I wanted to say, but she didn't have to read it if she didn't want to know, and then I filled about a page with whatever so that she could stop reading before seeing it in case she didn't want to know. She wrote back the next morning and said, "Don't worry. I read it." And she was very understanding about it. It was like 5 months after that before I started therapy with her, and at that time she wanted me to agree to a no-harm contract, meaning no damage requiring medical intervention, or suicide attempts, without giving her a chance to discuss it with me first. It felt good that she cared enough to ask me to agree to that. She also said back then that she knew she couldn't ask me to stop at that point. But now she does expect me to stop - I've told her a few times that I could stop, but just didn't care enough to stop. Today makes 6 weeks for me.

Great job on the 6 weeks.

When I first was looking for a Therapist I decided I would be up front about the SI. The first guy I called wanted me to sign something, hmmm noooooooo so I hung up. The next guy I called was the T I have now. He made it so easy to talk about. I have not SI'd in about a year. We still talk about it and I do tell him when I have thoughts of SI. He has been great with me about it.

yesitsme, sorry i didn't see your question before

I usually like the fact that T trusts me to bring it up. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't take my si very seriously, and for some reason it makes me think she doesn't care. Sometimes I convince myself that she doesn't care whether or not I cut- and that thought kind of hurts me.

Rap and I have the same T and back when the T asked Rap to agree not to do any significant harm.... I kind of felt like T didn't care as much about me. She has NEVER asked me to agree to anything of the sort. Never asked me not to cut, and never asked me not to do any major damage. And the thing is that I HAVE injured myself seriously enough that I should have had medical attention. I don't know why T never asked me to agree to those things, and it kind of hurts.

So I guess most of the time, I think T and I should talk a lot more about my si and establish some rules, etc. I realize it's not very rational thinking on my part, but sometimes I think that T doesn't care if I choose to cut or to talk it out with her first. In fact, I sometimes believe that she would rather I cut than talk it out with her first. But this is probably not rational thinking on my part. It's probably the voice of an abused/neglected child and not so much based on reality.

Anyway, is that more than you wanted to know? And did I even answer the question?

Karen... that's amazing!!! An entire year... God that seems like something I could only dream of. Truely an inspiration.

Ry

Angela,

I always thought that the reason she asked me to agree to the no-harm contract, and not you, was that she trusts you more than she trusts me. She has come out and told me that she doesn't trust me. And at the time, she didn't know me very well at all, but she did know that I had been suicidal, and also that I had been picked up and put in jail after an SI episode for an evaluation. And then there's the distance factor with me. I was probably fairly scary for her to start working with. I know that she cares about you a lot though, and I'm actually convinced that she cares more about you, afterall, I don't feel like I'm worth caring about. I'm sure we both have some cognitive distortions when these questions come up.

Rap

Thank you Ryan - has not been easy lately

Maybe not Karen, but if it gets rough you know we're here for you.

Ry

Actually, it was my family that let her know - it was the reason I was put into therapy. My therapist was absolutely fabulous. She made me feel like it wasn't all my fault and there wasn't really sometime wrong with me in the sense that causes guilt, but that we would only try to get me to stop when I wanted to. I always told her when I did it, too, and we would talk about what triggered it. Once again, she was fabulous.

Thats great JL4C...gives me some hope.