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#1
Apr 05, 2009, 09:04 PM
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I really want to cut. I am trying so hard to sit here and type these words and not think about the notebook beside my bed (their hiding place). My husband would be so dissapointed in me but I feel I cant talk to him about it. The last time I did it (only once other time, and it was only 4 cuts) he was so mad at me and I dont want him to be mad at me again. It just makes me feel worse. I feel so trapped. I feel so lost. I am scared and feel so alone it makes me want to cry. If only....
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"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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#2
Apr 06, 2009, 03:18 AM
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I understand that fact that my cutting makes my boyfriend mad and sad at the same time. I have avoided the urge to cut solely based on this fact before as well. I also know that the choice is something I made on my own. Everyday a live without drawing blood I try to congrat myself. I know the urge to cut might be very overwhelming. I hope you are okay. I best way I find to not cut is to distract myself. I hope something helps you! Good luck.
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#3
Jul 10, 2009, 05:02 AM
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Quote:
I actually don't have that problem. My friends are the only ones that know I cut and a select few. But I don't tell them when I do it. Can't you just do it some where where your husband won't see it? Like on your hip? |
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#4
Jul 12, 2009, 06:39 PM
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I know how you feel. I don't want to cut mostly because I don't want to hurt my husband. I know he'd be so dissappointed in me. And realisticly you know there is no where you could cut that they wouldn't eventually notice. Especially since once is never enough and it doesn't take long to run out of skin. I hope you find a better way to cope. Do you have a T? Thhat really helps me, because I don't talk to hubby about these feelings much. He knows, but he also knows it's good for me to have a T which I can be totally open with and not worry so much about.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#5
Jul 13, 2009, 08:50 PM
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try reading through the things to do at the top of the page - get busy and do things to take your minds off it an tkeep your hand busy - there is no place he wont see and oyu are right he would be hurt so I hope you can hold out - do you have a T ? this is hard to deal with on your own
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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