[dalila]

<font color="green"> We had the police here again and DS is gonna turn himself in on Monday

The girl fiend called them out. She is in jail until Monday at least. She came out around 1 or 2 and got her car then she came back around 5 to get her daughter. DS did want her to take My granddaughter, he tried to take My granddaughter away but she moved so he was grabbing her instead. They wrestled over the baby. Spice pulled DS off more arguing, son grabbed her trying again to pull her off the baby. She started screaming and the baby was crying. I called the cops. DS got off of her; threw a chair against the wall
Spice told him to get out he was not welcome here any more either. He left. She called the cops. Since the whole battle happened in my kitchen, spice and I talked to the cops too.

So son ran: GF tried to run with granddaughter but we could not find the baby’s boots. Oh, did I say son took her car and drove it into a hayfield? This is how she got into the house cos he was out there talking to her and then suddenly takes her car and leaves her on my doorstep. So she was going to take the baby and start walking to superior, no shoes, in a thin dress etc etc etc. I told her go ahead and I will be calling the police cos you will be endangering her. She called the cops to report DS stole her car; same car she used to destroy his.

Btw, spice went by the trailer and DS's car has no windshield now. Someone smashed it. The Cops finally get here: take her statement my statement listened to spice. Next thing I know I am being asked if I will care for the baby until Monday. I told them, we have cared for her many times and yes this is the one place granddaughter knows she is safe at. When GF took My granddaughter and refused to let DS take they 'wrestled' over her; that is domestic violence and child endangerment.

The cops seemed more sympatric to us than to her and they talked about DS as needing to grow up but her has having lots of problems. I had been praying we could have granddaughter for Easter; GF's family is catholic so I figured I didn’t have much hope.
PTL My daughter was not home yet; My youngest daughter was front and center and scared to death for granddaughter. I had to go and get My daughter from town so My youngest daughter was here with spice and granddaughter and the girls were curled up together watching a movie when I got back. I gave My daughter a minimal rundown before I brought her home. She was wired almost as bad as if she had been here but she is in bed seemed ok before she went.

Wednesday was awful. GF came to church and took my granddaughter. My granddaughter didn’t want to go with her. She acted as if she was scared – crying and reaching for me. I feel like I betrayed her. DS was in the hospital. He had a bicycle accident. I can’t believe that he didn’t bother to call us. I think they are together again. He didn’t go to jail and she was released on a signature bond. My granddaughter will be destroyed and no one cares. I knew from the start that she would take my granddaughter away again. Why do I allow myself to even hope differently?

I have cried and cried. I love my granddaughter so much I feel like she died. I am terrified that she is going to be hurt. How will she trust me again when I handed her back to her mom? I want to cut I took and drew all over my arms with red pen. It stung but it didn’t seem to cut or scratch. I don’t know what to do, I want to die I want to kill GF and I want to go to cps and tell them if my granddaughter gets hurt I will clean their offices with the 30.06. I hurt so much. I know I would eventually feel bad about mass murder so I know I wouldn’t even dare to threaten it. But I am mad at them and I hurt. I am just too stupid to learn. My granddaughter is not my child. I have no real rights with her. It feels so impossible. I ache and the tears just keep flowing. Even My daughter seemed mad at me for not protecting my granddaughter. I feel so useless, so worthless. I wish I were dead.
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[silver_queen]

((((((((((Dalila)))))))))) I'm sorry to hear all that happened .

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{Dalila}}}}}}}}}}}}}

That is so hard, wanting to do something and change what is hurting someone you love, and being limited in what you can do. You are doing what you can do. The system can be so slow to wisen up and see that some parents are not fit to raise children, while at the same time they are investigating people who do the best they can but maybe struggle, and they just make them worse by threatening them and giving no assistance. I don't know why it's so hard for them to tell the difference, but I guess it is. You are being there for your kids and your granddaughter, and also sticking up for what is right with your son. You're giving the police the information that is needed to document what is going on in your granddaughter's life. You're there when someone needs to step in and provide responsible care for the baby. That is so important for her. Throughout her life, she will need someone who is consistent and loves her and she can trust.

I know it's hard, and you have to cope with it somehow. I think you did an excellent job dealing with your feelings too. You used a pen, and you posted here and let us know how you felt. You know where the feelings are coming from. Hang in there. You are a wonderful person, and you'll make it.

Rap

[dalila]

<font color="green"> Just an up date on the situation, the girl fiend (who is in early 20’s) got tired of caring for dgd already. She handed dgd off to ds (29) who has a broken arm and is on heavy-duty drugs for the pain. Therefore, we picked her up on Thursday, and just gave her back today.

I am feeling a bit stronger but so lost as what I should try next. This in not a good life for dgd. She tells us, “We go home,” When she recognizes the road to my house. She cries when we take her back. “They are not there, I don’t want to see daddy or mommy.” She still seems to love them but she wants to stay with us.

When I knew she was staying with her mother, I could work on having cps involved but my son has been a good dad to this child. I have to qualify that statement. He is not a good dad when the girl fiend is around and he has no job or means of support. Still I don’t know that I can push for him to lose all his rights to dgd, I talked to him today about some kind of guardianship to provide dgd with stability told him to think about it.

Then I went over to see the other grandmother, the gf’s mom. I had pictures of dgd that I had taken and made copies for ds, gf and her family so I went to her mom to drop them off. Her mom said she is being punished by gf and is not allowed to see the baby. She told me that she was never an alcoholic that gf has lied about that. She told me that gf’s birthfather was bipolar. I told her that I felt it was very possible that most of gf’s problems could be bipolar. She said I should try to get guardianship of the dgd that her dd is not a good mom. My heart aches for this whole family.

My home life is better right now, the girls are healing and so am I. thank you for your love and concern.
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Hang in there. Life changes when we have grandchildren, doesn't it? I am praying for you and your family...xoxox pat

(((((((((((dalia)))))))))))